Sister Problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you married, OP? Or have you pushed men away since they don't fit into your plan to be a completely self-sufficient woman? Your sister's life choices must feel like a slap in the face to you.

Not op, but what in the heck is wrong with marrying your college boyfriend? Yes, maybe it's best to wait till you are a bit older. The divorce rates speak to that. But frankly, I'm in my late thirties, still single, and my college boyfriend would have been just a good a choice to marry as anyone else I've dated. Instead I was king do a jerk to him because deep down I wanted more freedom and now he is married with kids and seems very happy. I'm alone. Just saying.

I agree. Marrying late in life doesn't seem to be panning out any better than the people I know who married right after college. I would expect people marrying right at 18 might face more struggles, but immediately after your finish your degree? All the people I know who went that route are stable, happy, gainfully employed, and much more grown up than their counterparts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I know that in the end it is my sister's choice. I guess we are just two VERY different people. She married young at 22 to the first person she fell in love with. I didn't agree with that as well and told her she needs to live some more and experience more before marrying, but she said she knew he was the one. I asked her again the night before her wedding if she had any doubts and she said no that she had none. They appear to be best friends and I'm really hoping everything works out for her. She worked and supported him while he was going to school and interning so maybe she feels like it's her turn to be supported. I just don't understand why she is choosing to be a house wife. She is smarter than that and better than that. She already put off going back to school this summer, whats going to stop her from not going back in the fall too.

Doctors tend to lack social skills IMO. Why are you giving her shit the night before her wedding! Lay off! Sounds like there is a history of you meddling.

What does your sister think of your relationship?

OP here and my sister and I have a pretty good relationship. We've had our ups and downs but have always come back together. We shared a hotel room the night before her wedding and we were talking about a lot of different things and yes I asked her if she doubted her decision even a little bit and she answered no with complete certainty. To another pp, no I am not married and in all honesty I wish I have found someone I didn't have doubts about. I have been dating someone for over a year now and I still have doubts if he is the one. My sister was engaged after they dated for only a year and a half and married after a year long engagement. So I accept that maybe I should look at her relationship that seems really great and try to figure out what it has that my past relationships and possibly current relationship is missing. That being said, in my OP I never said I didn't think she had a good marriage, I voiced my concerns about her decision to quit her job and not actively look for another one. Even if she does go back to school, what is she going to tell future employers about this big gap on her resume? Relationships don't always last and I don't want her to be left with nothing if something does happen.

[Anonymous]

Op the more you post the more insufferable you sound. I hope you're going into research and don't have to deal with patients.

[Anonymous]

OP, how old is your sister? Did she go to college?

[Anonymous]

You say you never said you didn't think she had a good marriage, and yet you say 'what is she going to do when her husband leaves her?' You sound jealous, to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op the more you post the more insufferable you sound. I hope you're going into research and don't have to deal with patients.

Anonymous wrote:You say you never said you didn't think she had a good marriage, and yet you say 'what is she going to do when her husband leaves her?' You sound jealous, to be honest.

Do you people have to be so mean spirited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old is your sister? Did she go to college?

She is 24 and has about 2 years worth of credits done. She decided to take some time off when she was 20 because she couldn't decide on a major. I understood then because she has a limited amount of money in a 529 account and she wants to make sure she chooses the right major before using it. She's been working and traveling ever since leaving school. She went back once before but changed her mind and withdrew 2 weeks into the semester. She has admitted to me that while she loves her life and knows that she is very lucky, she wishes that she was more career driven. I will say though that she is very good with the little money she has made and has never asked anyone for money. Well until now, I'm assuming she is living off of her husbands salary.

[Anonymous]

OP, your sister is an adult. If you continue being so judgmental, you will push her away.

Trust me - I'm sure she'd love to give *you* unsolicited advice - you're likely not as perfect as you consider yourself to be. Respect her, and respect her differences.

[Anonymous]

At this point Op is just making me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Op, the problem is 100% you.

If you are going into med school you really need to learn how to not to view other people's lives through your own very narrow frame. You are going to encounter people who have made wildly different life choices than you. You are going to need to learn how to be non judgmental, how ot not project onto others and how to not be critical of others who think or act differently than you. You seem to see the world in black and white where anything different form you is bad.

You need to get into therapy stat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your sister is an adult. If you continue being so judgmental, you will push her away.

Trust me - I'm sure she'd love to give *you* unsolicited advice - you're likely not as perfect as you consider yourself to be. Respect her, and respect her differences.

Eh I'm sure if her sister ever critiqued her life OP would be up in arms even more. Kind of funny how OP thinks she's the perfect one when it sounds like her sister has her life way more together than OPs. She's likely happier too as happy people generally don't go around judging everyone else's lifestyles for not being what they think is proper.

[Anonymous]

Well, I can see why you want her to finish college. But she's right to be thinking about her major.

[Anonymous]

Once? Yes.
Twice? Maybe, it depends.
Three times? Hell no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once? Yes.
Twice? Maybe, it depends.
Three times? Hell no

Crap, wrong thread.

[Anonymous]

I just don't understand why she is choosing to be a house wife. She is smarter than that and better than that. She already put off going back to school this summer, whats going to stop her from not going back in the fall too.

You don't need to understand it, you just need to accept it.

And, frankly, I'd love to be a housewife even though I'm smart. I don't think those who are not housewives are better or worse than anyone else. I don't know why you would.