Sister Problems
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Anonymous
| My younger sister has been unemployed since the end of January and is currently not even trying to find a job. First she said she was going to go back to school this summer, but now she is saying in the fall because she can't decide what to go back for. She has no kids and does not plan to have kids and is supported by her husband who is 7 years older. She currently spends her days training for a marathon, reading, walking the dog, house work and other hobbies. I wouldn't say that I'm jealous, I'm currently in medical school and starting my residency in June. I guess I'm just disappointed in her and realizing she isn't the person I thought she was. When I've talked to her about it she says that she has been trying to narrow down career paths, but just can't make up her mind. She says that I don't understand because I've known what I wanted to do since elementary school. Her husband isn't helping matters, he completely supports her not doing anything. They do seem very happy and she says her husband was the one who told her she could quit her last job. She said she was miserable in it, but I think she should have sucked it up and stuck it out. I'm just worried about her and I don't want her to be dependent on her husband forever. Any advice on how I can get her working again or should I just back off and let her make her own mistakes? |
Anonymous
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What mistake is she making exactly? She's a housewife. Her husband doesn't mind. She's walked away from something that made her miserable. She is physical, and gets outside each day.
It sounds like you're jealous of all her free time, OP. |
Anonymous
| MYOB. They're happy and he's not abusing her so why do you care? She's not you and if you keep talking to her about it, you're going to piss her off. |
Anonymous
| OP here and our mother was a single parent while we were growing up who worked her butt off to give us everything. She taught me and my sisters how to be strong women and that we don't need men to support us. I feel like my sister's recent decisions are just a slap in the face to my mother. Even though they appear happy now, what happens when my sister's husband leaves her. She will have nothing. |
Anonymous
| Gosh, OP, why do you need to 'get her working again'? You said yourself 'they do seem very happy', so what's the problem exactly? |
Anonymous
Oh! I see what the problem is. Yes, a good therapist can definitely help to fix this. Your problem is that because your mom was a single mom you believe All Men Leave. That's why you are assuming your BIL will leave your sister. Therapy can help you with this for sure. Worry about your own life. Let your sister lead hers the way she wants to. |
Anonymous
| OP, go study for your exams. Stop focusing on things that are out of your control. Your sister is happy. Be happy with your life and with hers. |
Anonymous
| Dude. Mind your own business. Seriously. She's not slapping your mother in the face. Get over yourself. |
Anonymous
| I would also find this annoying. I can't think of a single person I know who is under 65, no kids, and just doesn't work. |
Anonymous
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Why is this your business? Is she asking you for money? Doesn't sound like it.
Drs. tend to be very smug about their career paths. They don't understand that other people have to struggle and figure out what they're doing. Get over yourself and mind your own business. |
Anonymous
As long as people aren't living off public assistance and aren't asking others for money, why does it matter if they're not working? |
Anonymous
Ding! Ding! Ding! Hit the nail on the head. OP, if her husband leaves her husband leaves. No amount of worry will protect her from that. They sound happy so just support her and hope for the best! |
Anonymous
+1000 OP, I'm currently a SAHM. I gave up my career because it was easier for me to stay home and take care of our children rather than try to juggle a demanding career and raise two children. I did what works for my family. I would never presume that what works for me will work for someone else. That's why, thanks to the feminist movement, we have a choice. You do sound jealous. Focus on your own life and make the choices that are appropriate for you. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like instead of working in a job she hates, she's taking time off from working to figure out what she really wants to do in her life and what she wants to go back to school for. Seems like she's staying pretty busy with healthy activities and isn't exactly sitting in the house eating bon bons while the maids and cooks do everything.
Try not to be so jealous before you ruin the relationship with your sister. |
Anonymous
+1 |