Emotional needs of our students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

I tuink you said it best of all the posters, yet it doesn't seem as if this is the message the posters want to hear.

No, they don't! Did anyone notice that this very sensible, informative, helpful comment was followed by parents bickering over whether UVa is a safety school?

Teacher, I don't know how you deal with these people. I really don't. Thank you for at least trying to instill some real-world wisdom into their children.

[Anonymous]

You are not going to change the minds of those who already "know it all". Too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

We need more teachers like you, especially at Langley.
Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools. That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way. The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few. I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens. Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins. The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area. Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.

As I said, quotas are a serious problem. Fairness isn't really fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That is a stereotype. We are "Ivy Parents" and would love it if our DC ends up at UVA.

Of course it is. Extrapolate please... You know what I am talking about. If not it plays to the stereotype that Ivy league kids memorize and regurgitate instead of learning critical thinking skills.

Read this board. You will see that you are the exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

I tuink you said it best of all the posters, yet it doesn't seem as if this is the message the posters want to hear.

Yes we do. The problem is that a lot of teachers aren't like this teacher. And the ones who aren't? They have tenure and they can't get rid of them. What I was told, is that all administration can do is try and make the teacher's life difficult so they go to another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

Go to the other forum on AAP and look at the postings by the insane parents trying to game the system. You will see where the stress comes from. How can colvin run have 3 AAP classes out of 5 ? The school system needs to stop the grade inflation for AP and Honors Classes. The school system needs to limit the AAP program to a MUCH smaller number. Those 2 actions will reduce the stress and help the MAJORITY of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

I tuink you said it best of all the posters, yet it doesn't seem as if this is the message the posters want to hear.

Yes we do. The problem is that a lot of teachers aren't like this teacher. And the ones who aren't? They have tenure and they can't get rid of them. What I was told, is that all administration can do is try and make the teacher's life difficult so they go to another school.

Parents can help with that. Ideally these poorly performing teachers would want to improve themselves and can access resources to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

Go to the other forum on AAP and look at the postings by the insane parents trying to game the system. You will see where the stress comes from. How can colvin run have 3 AAP classes out of 5 ? The school system needs to stop the grade inflation for AP and Honors Classes. The school system needs to limit the AAP program to a MUCH smaller number. Those 2 actions will reduce the stress and help the MAJORITY of kids.

Are you serious about getting rid of weighted grades for AP and honors classes? Do you really think that a child who gets all As in regular classes should have the same GPA as a child who gets all As in honors and AP classes? GPAs should reflect the dlifficulty of the classes. While this will adversely impact my child because I don't think kids should take too many AP classes, I think it's a fair system. If my child chooses to take all regular classes, I have no expectation that she would be ranked the same as kids who take on more difficult classes. Next we'll have people suggesting that colleges should only get GPAs and not be able to look at which school a child went to because that would be more fair. While it's important to reduce the pressure kids face in school, we have to do it in a way that doesn't do so at the expense of common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools. That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way. The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few. I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens. Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins. The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area. Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.

As I said, quotas are a serious problem. Fairness isn't really fair.

It's not unique to Langley. The quota is as tight at other Fairfax Co and Arlington Co HS. In fact, UVA will only take a certain percentage from NoVA. period. They prefer out of state tuition and 'Jefferson wanted geographical diversity..blah, blah... Signed, a 4.2 GPA Ffx co HS graduate, #10 out of 789 that was wait listed. I did get into Duke and Ann Arbor though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

Go to the other forum on AAP and look at the postings by the insane parents trying to game the system. You will see where the stress comes from. How can colvin run have 3 AAP classes out of 5 ? The school system needs to stop the grade inflation for AP and Honors Classes. The school system needs to limit the AAP program to a MUCH smaller number. Those 2 actions will reduce the stress and help the MAJORITY of kids.

Are you serious about getting rid of weighted grades for AP and honors classes? Do you really think that a child who gets all As in regular classes should have the same GPA as a child who gets all As in honors and AP classes? GPAs should reflect the dlifficulty of the classes. While this will adversely impact my child because I don't think kids should take too many AP classes, I think it's a fair system. If my child chooses to take all regular classes, I have no expectation that she would be ranked the same as kids who take on more difficult classes. Next we'll have people suggesting that colleges should only get GPAs and not be able to look at which school a child went to because that would be more fair. While it's important to reduce the pressure kids face in school, we have to do it in a way that doesn't do so at the expense of common sense.

The inflation of the grade is ridiculous. Can you relate mathematically how much more difficult the class it as compared to the inflation of the GPA? No. You can't even say the same class with a different teacher is equally as hard. It's all a game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That is a stereotype. We are "Ivy Parents" and would love it if our DC ends up at UVA.

Of course it is. Extrapolate please... You know what I am talking about. If not it plays to the stereotype that Ivy league kids memorize and regurgitate instead of learning critical thinking skills.

Read this board. You will see that you are the exception.

I meant that for the Ivy Parent, not for the PP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

I tuink you said it best of all the posters, yet it doesn't seem as if this is the message the posters want to hear.

Yes we do. The problem is that a lot of teachers aren't like this teacher. And the ones who aren't? They have tenure and they can't get rid of them. What I was told, is that all administration can do is try and make the teacher's life difficult so they go to another school.

Parents can help with that. Ideally these poorly performing teachers would want to improve themselves and can access resources to do so.

Ideally? You can't change egotistical and mean. No, we can't. We have tried. We are told "hands are tied due to tenure". I try and help with my vote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A problem in this area is there is such a large concentration of parents who went to Ivies or other very good schools that the kids in this area feel a very palpable pressure to go to those schools. That puts a heavy burden to excel academically on kids, especially since there are so many other kids in the same class/school feeling the same way. The pressure could be self imposed or could be from real expectations imposed by parents, but, either way, it is magnified in this area because of the large number of kids competing to be among the chosen few. I'm not criticizing the drive to get into Ivies, I'm just pointing out that while most of the time the demographics in this area provides our kids with benefits, it can at times create unintended burdens. Each ivy will only take so many kids from one school, the kids know this, and the pressure begins. The kids also want to be as successful professionally as their parents, which is another high bar in this area. Again, this is not a criticism of having a drive to be successful, I'm just pointing out that sometimes we forget or don't notice some of the pressures our kids face.

As I said, quotas are a serious problem. Fairness isn't really fair.

It's not unique to Langley. The quota is as tight at other Fairfax Co and Arlington Co HS. In fact, UVA will only take a certain percentage from NoVA. period. They prefer out of state tuition and 'Jefferson wanted geographical diversity..blah, blah... Signed, a 4.2 GPA Ffx co HS graduate, #10 out of 789 that was wait listed. I did get into Duke and Ann Arbor though.

Legally, state schools have to take a certain percentage of their students from the state the are in. Which is part of why the quotas exist. Another part is diversity. It doesn't matter if it's just Langley - that's not my point. The point is that fairness for some is not fairness for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher and I have been trying to figure this out this year. Something has changed. I've been in teaching for ten years and I've noticed the change on several levels. They are stressed out. Part of that stress comes from a fundamental lie they are being told: they won't be successful if they don't get into the top school. I pointed out that they could go to NOVA, save money, be in smaller classes, and then go on to the four-year schools and they'd have the same degree - and they were shocked! They are over scheduled, which leads me to another point: as a whole, they are not better students as the kids ten years ago. Of course I have very good students that are the exceptions, but most of the students in my honors level class procrastinate, make excuses, etc...There were always some students like this, but they understood that they didn't earn an A, and there was no argument. Now, they try to pressure you into grades they didn't earn, and when that doesn't work, they get their parents involved with pleas that usually involve getting in to colleges.
Where does that pressure come from? Probably society, but I think it is a parent's job to let them know that they love them unconditionally and help their kid overcome that pressure - not add to it. I had a kid tell me at the beginning of the year that he must earn A's because when he didn't get into TJ, his father didn't speak to him for a month.

I tuink you said it best of all the posters, yet it doesn't seem as if this is the message the posters want to hear.

Yes we do. The problem is that a lot of teachers aren't like this teacher. And the ones who aren't? They have tenure and they can't get rid of them. What I was told, is that all administration can do is try and make the teacher's life difficult so they go to another school.

You obviously did not even read her post, or you're so fixated on the roles of the school that you missed the whole point.

PARENTS ARE THE PROBLEM. They pressure their kids and then intervene when their child doesn't get the grade they (the parents) want. The kids themselves are whining excuse-makers because that's how they've been raised. Mommy and Daddy can and will come to the rescue anytime a threat to the child's "success" is involved.

This has nothing to do with teachers who have tenure, the administration, or anything else.