Sister won't let me speak to my nephews

[Anonymous]

The dog is 13. It's next move is to die or be put down not to get crowns.

It's very difficult dealing with an old sick dog.

I suspect OP is in her 20's and very immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dog is 13. It's next move is to die or be put down not to get crowns.

It's very difficult dealing with an old sick dog.

I suspect OP is in her 20's and very immature.

Sounds like she's not dealing with the dog.
The humane thing to do is to have its teeth pulled or put it down.
I dot think they do crowns for dogs. Never even heard of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, op. It was so unnecessary to throw in that your bil is enlisted rather than an officer.

Can you explain the difference? I have no clue.

[Anonymous]

The dog has a rotten tooth, is 13 and she tried to surrender him. It is clear she hopes he dies of this infection or whatever - better than paying to have it euthanized.

Op, aside the dog issue, the way you talk about your sister doesn't sound very compelling. Why do you want to keep contact with a person you load so much? It is your nephew, not your son... I would suggest you forget him and move on with your life. If you rather have a connection with him despite loading your sister, you better learn to fake your contempt for her and her life, otherwise she will just cut you out of their lives - rightfully so.

I mean, would YOU have someone who thinks so poorly of you in your child's life? I certainly wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

I would report her for animal abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would report her for animal abuse.

Well that is certainly going to make OP's relationship with her nephew just as it was!

[Anonymous]

My bet is your sister is defensive because she's embarrassed. It's very hard to be called out on something when you feel powerless to fix it. It's even more demeaning when the person who calls you out looks down on you for it.

How about taking the high road? Apologize for meddling. You can simply say "I'm sorry for getting in your face about the dog. I was just afraid Fido might be in pain. I know he's your dog though so I'll let you do as you see fit. In the meantime, I miss Joey and would love to talk to him. I'm missing you guys this Christmas and want to hear all about what you are doing. He's a great kid. You're lucky."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My bet is your sister is defensive because she's embarrassed. It's very hard to be called out on something when you feel powerless to fix it. It's even more demeaning when the person who calls you out looks down on you for it.

How about taking the high road? Apologize for meddling. You can simply say "I'm sorry for getting in your face about the dog. I was just afraid Fido might be in pain. I know he's your dog though so I'll let you do as you see fit. In the meantime, I miss Joey and would love to talk to him. I'm missing you guys this Christmas and want to hear all about what you are doing. He's a great kid. You're lucky."

This is good advice. I can't imagine why she would shut you out since that would be bad for her son and dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would report her for animal abuse.

Well that is certainly going to make OP's relationship with her nephew just as it was!

Maybe, maybe not. If she can live with a dead dog on her conscience, that's her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I stood up for a small, defenseless animal. I don't feel bad for a second. If I had told you that a week before this happened she had tried to surrender the dog (who is 13 and has lived with her it's entire life) to the county animal shelter, what would you think then?
You pretend to know me and how Iove my life from a post on an anonymous forum. You don't know a thing about me.

Actually we do. You shared everything we need to know.

Hardly

NP here. Of course you did. You shared that you are a condescending arrogant person who judges all aspects of her sister's life and meddles in places where you think she is especially delinquent. Your sister has spent years living with your attitude and your latest action to criticize her for not treating a dog when they are struggling financially (granted, caused by their poor financial management skills) was the straw that broke the camel's back and she has decided that she needs to cut you off because she probably considers you the toxic relative. I'm not sure that you're going to redevelop a relationship with your nephew until you find a way to stop judging her because she probably won't open up again until she feels that she can be around you without your criticism bleeding into all of your body language, intonation, and facial expressions. You convey your attitude plenty through your writing, I'm sure it's more painfully obvious from your non-verbal communication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I stood up for a small, defenseless animal. I don't feel bad for a second. If I had told you that a week before this happened she had tried to surrender the dog (who is 13 and has lived with her it's entire life) to the county animal shelter, what would you think then?
You pretend to know me and how Iove my life from a post on an anonymous forum. You don't know a thing about me.

Actually we do. You shared everything we need to know.

Hardly

NP here. Of course you did. You shared that you are a condescending arrogant person who judges all aspects of her sister's life and meddles in places where you think she is especially delinquent. Your sister has spent years living with your attitude and your latest action to criticize her for not treating a dog when they are struggling financially (granted, caused by their poor financial management skills) was the straw that broke the camel's back and she has decided that she needs to cut you off because she probably considers you the toxic relative. I'm not sure that you're going to redevelop a relationship with your nephew until you find a way to stop judging her because she probably won't open up again until she feels that she can be around you without your criticism bleeding into all of your body language, intonation, and facial expressions. You convey your attitude plenty through your writing, I'm sure it's more painfully obvious from your non-verbal communication.

You have no idea what you're even talking about.
You don't know me or anything about my life.
I find it rather odd and slightly creepy that you assume to know me or "my issues."
DCUM is full of amateur psychologists today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I stood up for a small, defenseless animal. I don't feel bad for a second. If I had told you that a week before this happened she had tried to surrender the dog (who is 13 and has lived with her it's entire life) to the county animal shelter, what would you think then?
You pretend to know me and how Iove my life from a post on an anonymous forum. You don't know a thing about me.

Actually we do. You shared everything we need to know.

Hardly

NP here. Of course you did. You shared that you are a condescending arrogant person who judges all aspects of her sister's life and meddles in places where you think she is especially delinquent. Your sister has spent years living with your attitude and your latest action to criticize her for not treating a dog when they are struggling financially (granted, caused by their poor financial management skills) was the straw that broke the camel's back and she has decided that she needs to cut you off because she probably considers you the toxic relative. I'm not sure that you're going to redevelop a relationship with your nephew until you find a way to stop judging her because she probably won't open up again until she feels that she can be around you without your criticism bleeding into all of your body language, intonation, and facial expressions. You convey your attitude plenty through your writing, I'm sure it's more painfully obvious from your non-verbal communication.

You have no idea what you're even talking about.
You don't know me or anything about my life.
I find it rather odd and slightly creepy that you assume to know me or "my issues."
DCUM is full of amateur psychologists today.

Your writing is laden with overtones of condescension, arrogance and judgement. Either you are schizophrenic, a fantastic poker player/actor, or you convey a lot of that through non-verbal communication. Based on your writing and your sister's reactions, I would bet that I understand your sister's reactions far better than you do. And stop and look back through this thread. About 75-80% of the posters also think along these lines. I think you're deceiving yourself and you need to take a really good hard look at yourself and how you treat your sister. If you want to reestablish a relationship with your nephew, I think you're going to need to do a lot more introspection than you're willing to admit. But then, it may not matter. Even if you do, it may only be for personal improvement and your sister may still leave you cut out of their lives.

[Anonymous]

A couple of plain facts here, OP:

Vets don't do dental surgery on elderly 13 year old dogs. They are not anesthesia risks. There is little that can be done except making them comfortable. Your perception that the dog was in extreme pain just could -- could -- be wrong, no? Just a thought.

Just another thought. This five year old boy is wonderful. How did he get that way? In a vacuum? I don't think so. He got that way because of his parents, not in spite of them. Recognize and honor that.

You say you call this child every day. I'm creeped out by that. It's strange and stalkerish. Back off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would report her for animal abuse.

Well that is certainly going to make OP's relationship with her nephew just as it was!

Maybe, maybe not. If she can live with a dead dog on her conscience, that's her business.

Are you crazy?

there is nothing OP can do to help the dog.
her sister is obviously fine with a dead dog
if OP sends any kind of inspection to her sister's home, she won't be seeing or hearing from her nephew for years to come.

[Anonymous]

How old are you and your sister, OP?