I told my husband tonight that I wanted to separate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What!? Two days ago you were planning dinner and now it's all over? Holy hell!

Yeah, like an idiot I have continued to make efforts to keep our family together.

[Anonymous]

The Thanksgiving association may not matter so much to your husband or you but now your son will always associate the Thanksgiving holiday with his family breaking into pieces.

Did you do counseling or did you just decide today to separate. Have you had conversations about separating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Thanksgiving association may not matter so much to your husband or you but now your son will always associate the Thanksgiving holiday with his family breaking into pieces.

Did you do counseling or did you just decide today to separate. Have you had conversations about separating?

What was my other option? Make a meal and say "Son and I are having Thanksgiving dinner at 5 if you want to join us?" Who has to ask their husband that? And his response would have been "Why? I told you we shouldn't plan anything." Worse that way for our son, no? I thought through the options. And somehow this is all on me and my decisions. Where is he in all if this? A phantom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Thanksgiving association may not matter so much to your husband or you but now your son will always associate the Thanksgiving holiday with his family breaking into pieces.

Did you do counseling or did you just decide today to separate. Have you had conversations about separating?

What was my other option? Make a meal and say "Son and I are having Thanksgiving dinner at 5 if you want to join us?" Who has to ask their husband that? And his response would have been "Why? I told you we shouldn't plan anything." Worse that way for our son, no? I thought through the options. And somehow this is all on me and my decisions. Where is he in all if this? A phantom.

The Thanksgiving association DOES matter to me. Tell me what I should have done? Begged him to have a meal together as a family? What were my choices? Really...I don't know. There were no good ones. I had to choose at least being together with my son for a quiet weekend.

[Anonymous]

Op, if all this over your husband not planning a big thanksgiving celebration.... Then wow... You have a lot to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, if all this over your husband not planning a big thanksgiving celebration.... Then wow... You have a lot to learn.

Please. Yes, that was all there was. Tip of the iceberg. Tiny, tiny tip. Straw that broke the camel's back. Really tiny straw piled on top of a whole heaping mountain of hay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Thanksgiving association may not matter so much to your husband or you but now your son will always associate the Thanksgiving holiday with his family breaking into pieces.

Did you do counseling or did you just decide today to separate. Have you had conversations about separating?

What was my other option? Make a meal and say "Son and I are having Thanksgiving dinner at 5 if you want to join us?" Who has to ask their husband that? And his response would have been "Why? I told you we shouldn't plan anything." Worse that way for our son, no? I thought through the options. And somehow this is all on me and my decisions. Where is he in all if this? A phantom.

The Thanksgiving association DOES matter to me. Tell me what I should have done? Begged him to have a meal together as a family? What were my choices? Really...I don't know. There were no good ones. I had to choose at least being together with my son for a quiet weekend.

OP ignore the trolls. Try to have a good thanksgiving with your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Thanksgiving association may not matter so much to your husband or you but now your son will always associate the Thanksgiving holiday with his family breaking into pieces.

Did you do counseling or did you just decide today to separate. Have you had conversations about separating?

What was my other option? Make a meal and say "Son and I are having Thanksgiving dinner at 5 if you want to join us?" Who has to ask their husband that? And his response would have been "Why? I told you we shouldn't plan anything." Worse that way for our son, no? I thought through the options. And somehow this is all on me and my decisions. Where is he in all if this? A phantom.

You decided to leave him on Thanksgiving so I am not sure how that should be on him. I have no idea what his side of the story is or why he didn't want to do much for Thanksgiving. For all we know his mother died last week, or he has been working 100 hr weeks and just needs a couple days to recharge, or maybe no matter what he suggests you shoot him down, or maybe he just doesn't enjoy your company because you fight all the time etc... The point is we don't know anything other than you didn't like his response to what side dishes to have for Thanksgiving so you told him you were leaving and taking his car. And from that you want us to put this on him and not on you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if all this over your husband not planning a big thanksgiving celebration.... Then wow... You have a lot to learn.

Please. Yes, that was all there was. Tip of the iceberg. Tiny, tiny tip. Straw that broke the camel's back. Really tiny straw piled on top of a whole heaping mountain of hay.

I'm sure there is a lot more to this, and I'm sympathetic, but please, for the sake of your son, don't make such a horrid decision on a family holiday. Or before counseling. Think of it as giving your son a present, not your husband. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

How old is your son?

[Anonymous]

Who cares if it's Thanksgiving??? Some people don't consider it some sacred holiday geez. I sure don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it's Thanksgiving??? Some people don't consider it some sacred holiday geez. I sure don't.

Ironically OP does though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if it's Thanksgiving??? Some people don't consider it some sacred holiday geez. I sure don't.

You and Ops husband should get together!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I left our home (DH's name is the only name on the deed), DH changed the locks and I had a locksmith let me in when he was out if town since he denied me access for six months. I packed up a few things and he was, needless to say, infuriated. He called the police and a detective went to my neighbors house to investigate a "felony burglary". They never contacted me though. Yes, he tried to have the mother of his children arrested. I married a real gem.

I call bullshit. You saw that in Breaking Bad.

Haha! Top poster here again. I didn't mean to confuse this thread with my post. BTW - I've never seen Breaking Bad. Unfortunately, this is my life and, yes, it really did happen. But if I told the entire story it would sound like a script.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your husband is depressed, and maybe you just need a time out.

Yes, you could have just made a simple dinner, and I am sure he would have shown up at the table with you and your son. Then you can leave tomorrow--a true Black Friday!

FWIW, my husband never wants to do anything for Thanksgiving, either. I do it for me.