My egg donor is pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I suspect many of these over the top accusatory and nasty posts are from the same poster, quite likely someone who is opposed to egg donation and looking for an opportunity to vilify someone. I myself have mixed feelings about egg donation, but to say that you are a terrible person and will be an awful mother is really a stretch. Through no fault of your own, in an unnatural situation to begin with (which is what ED is), you found out some information you shouldn't have known. Doesn't make you evil, a bad mother or any of the stupid things this nasty posters have thrown out (anonymity of the internet at its worst). It means you are a Mom in a highly unusual situation that is probably not good to continue and you need some help to figure out how to distance yourself. That's it. Ignore the haters, likely looking for an outlet because something in their own lives is miserable.

+1. Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

Proud of her?

How condescending of you. Do you think she'd be proud of what you are doing with her genetic material?

I'm sorry, did you have some insight on what I'm doing with my family? I wasn't aware that I even mentioned anything past having an egg donor. And I stand by being proud of her. She did something for infertile women that changed our lives for the better.

You know who did something for infertile women? You did, you made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation. If you have gratitude towards this woman why in the heck are you betraying the trust she made in the agreement that gave you a child?

[Anonymous]

I am a big fan of egg donation and this just creeps me out. OP, you need to stop checking in on her and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

Proud of her?

How condescending of you. Do you think she'd be proud of what you are doing with her genetic material?

I'm sorry, did you have some insight on what I'm doing with my family? I wasn't aware that I even mentioned anything past having an egg donor. And I stand by being proud of her. She did something for infertile women that changed our lives for the better.

You know who did something for infertile women? You did, you made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation. If you have gratitude towards this woman why in the heck are you betraying the trust she made in the agreement that gave you a child?

Women who are this concerned about privacy don't have public Facebook pages. I don't think OP's post has much of an impact on most potential egg donors. To say she "made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation" is way overblowing the importance of what she did. It is an unusual, unfortunate situation, mostly for OP. If I were an egg donor, I might be concerned about the clinic being negligent about safeguarding my name, but not about OP looking at my public Facebook profile.

[Anonymous]

Half of these judgy types were probably recipients of anonymous sperm donations at a few points in their lives. So funny to see them try to be holy when it comes to egg donation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

Proud of her?

How condescending of you. Do you think she'd be proud of what you are doing with her genetic material?

I'm sorry, did you have some insight on what I'm doing with my family? I wasn't aware that I even mentioned anything past having an egg donor. And I stand by being proud of her. She did something for infertile women that changed our lives for the better.

You know who did something for infertile women? You did, you made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation. If you have gratitude towards this woman why in the heck are you betraying the trust she made in the agreement that gave you a child?

Women who are this concerned about privacy don't have public Facebook pages. I don't think OP's post has much of an impact on most potential egg donors. To say she "made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation" is way overblowing the importance of what she did. It is an unusual, unfortunate situation, mostly for OP. If I were an egg donor, I might be concerned about the clinic being negligent about safeguarding my name, but not about OP looking at my public Facebook profile.

The issue isn't someone looking at a public face book page, the issue is that a person who isn't supposed to have any idea of their connection is stalking the public facebook page. The donor would have every right to be angry with both the clinic and the OP.

[Anonymous]

And by sperm donations, I mean outside of a clinical situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Half of these judgy types were probably recipients of anonymous sperm donations at a few points in their lives. So funny to see them try to be holy when it comes to egg donation.

I've used both donor sperm and donor egg and that's why I'm absolutely concerned about what OP is doing. I would never violate the privacy that the donors are entitled to. I think you're really missing the boat. The reason people are so upset is because they do use donor materials.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And by sperm donations, I mean outside of a clinical situation.

And I'm sure they've FB stalked the sperm donors who gave them names at the many TGIF happy hours too! Ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And by sperm donations, I mean outside of a clinical situation.

I don't even know what this means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

Proud of her?

How condescending of you. Do you think she'd be proud of what you are doing with her genetic material?

I'm sorry, did you have some insight on what I'm doing with my family? I wasn't aware that I even mentioned anything past having an egg donor. And I stand by being proud of her. She did something for infertile women that changed our lives for the better.

You know who did something for infertile women? You did, you made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation. If you have gratitude towards this woman why in the heck are you betraying the trust she made in the agreement that gave you a child?

Women who are this concerned about privacy don't have public Facebook pages. I don't think OP's post has much of an impact on most potential egg donors. To say she "made it way more difficult for more women to feel comfortable in the anonymity of egg donation" is way overblowing the importance of what she did. It is an unusual, unfortunate situation, mostly for OP. If I were an egg donor, I might be concerned about the clinic being negligent about safeguarding my name, but not about OP looking at my public Facebook profile.

The issue isn't someone looking at a public face book page, the issue is that a person who isn't supposed to have any idea of their connection is stalking the public facebook page. The donor would have every right to be angry with both the clinic and the OP.

But this is unrealistic. It's not OP's fault that she now has an idea of who the donor is. The entire mess in on the clinic. It would be very difficult for most people NOT to look at the public Facebook page in this situation. VERY. And doing so isn't stalking. Don't use that term so loosely, because stalking is a serious offense that is quite different from what the OP is doing. If the OP made efforts to find out where the donor lives and then went to her house, that would be stalking and that would be creepy.

[Anonymous]

I said she was stalking a FB page, I did not state that she was stalking the donor. Please read more carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I said she was stalking a FB page, I did not state that she was stalking the donor. Please read more carefully.

You cannot stalk a Facebook page. Please use language more accurately. Or did you mean only the FB page was harmed? No? Then you meant she was stalking the donor via her FB page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said she was stalking a FB page, I did not state that she was stalking the donor. Please read more carefully.

You cannot stalk a Facebook page. Please use language more accurately. Or did you mean only the FB page was harmed? No? Then you meant she was stalking the donor via her FB page.

Stalking facebook is a common phrase used in today's society. Maybe you're a bit older and are unaware of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said she was stalking a FB page, I did not state that she was stalking the donor. Please read more carefully.

You cannot stalk a Facebook page. Please use language more accurately. Or did you mean only the FB page was harmed? No? Then you meant she was stalking the donor via her FB page.

Stalking facebook is a common phrase used in today's society. Maybe you're a bit older and are unaware of this?

I'm aware of this. And you know what it means? Stalking someone via their FB page. Which is exactly what I was referring to, and what I think doesn't apply here since it's a public page.