My egg donor is pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, this isn't a one time look. OP is continually checking in on this woman and tracking her life. She's obsessing about it. It's not okay, even if the donor does not have her privacy setting turned on. If I leave my front door unlocked, you still do not have a right to come into my house.

+1! This is stalking and it's pathological. OP, I hope you're a troll!

BS! I actually had a stalker and I could only have wished he was merely checking my public FB page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, this isn't a one time look. OP is continually checking in on this woman and tracking her life. She's obsessing about it. It's not okay, even if the donor does not have her privacy setting turned on. If I leave my front door unlocked, you still do not have a right to come into my house.

You do not really think that this is comparable, do you? Because coming into your house, even if unlocked, is trespassing and illegal. Browsing someone's public Facebook page is not. OP is no stalker and no trespasser.

[Anonymous]

You have violated her privacy and if this were any other medical record the "admin error" would be an actionable violation of medical privacy laws. (Maybe it is, I don't know how donor relationships are structured or protected.)

Stop stalking her online. For your own mental health and out of respect for her. Have some boundaries, this is the person who made it possible for you to have a child. If you can't respect her, who can you respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have violated her privacy and if this were any other medical record the "admin error" would be an actionable violation of medical privacy laws. (Maybe it is, I don't know how donor relationships are structured or protected.)

Stop stalking her online. For your own mental health and out of respect for her. Have some boundaries, this is the person who made it possible for you to have a child. If you can't respect her, who can you respect?

how is looking at someone's public profile disrespectful? it might not be a healthy thing to do for OP but makes no difference whatsoever to the donor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have violated her privacy and if this were any other medical record the "admin error" would be an actionable violation of medical privacy laws. (Maybe it is, I don't know how donor relationships are structured or protected.)

Stop stalking her online. For your own mental health and out of respect for her. Have some boundaries, this is the person who made it possible for you to have a child. If you can't respect her, who can you respect?

OP did not violate her privacy. The person who made the admin error did. The Facebook profile is public, anybody can look at it, including OP. While I do recommend that OP stop looking at it now, there is nothing disrespectful about looking at a public page. Stop being so dramatic and questioning her integrity. I think it's as unfortunate for OP to have found out the name as it is for the donor.

[Anonymous]

I just finished an egg donor cycle. It is absolutely reprehensible for OP knowing the terms of the donation was anonymity to seek out and obsess about this woman's life. Honestly, she seems like a very poor candidate for egg donation with this type of fixation on genetics. Call a shrink OP, now before you do any damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just finished an egg donor cycle. It is absolutely reprehensible for OP knowing the terms of the donation was anonymity to seek out and obsess about this woman's life. Honestly, she seems like a very poor candidate for egg donation with this type of fixation on genetics. Call a shrink OP, now before you do any damage.

I wouldn't call it a "fixation" on genetics, but I agree that the best candidates for using donor egg are those who are able to disregard genetics completely. The only reason OP might need a shrink for not feeling that way is because she already used donor egg, and unfortunately found out the donor's name - not because the way she feels and acts is abnormal or reprehensible.

[Anonymous]

Omg, OP is not stalking. Is not pathological.

Not abiding by contractual terms? Yes.

[Anonymous]

This is probably a troll post. There are a few anti-donor egg posters on this site and they like to stir up trouble. The "OP" has not returned to this thread and is probably sitting back and laughing at the outrage she is eliciting from others.

[Anonymous]

OP wants to see what her kid's half sibling will look like. I don't think this is stalking or even that weird. Now if OP is driving by her house then that would be weird and stalking. It sounds like normal curiosity to me. I have googled ex's to see what comes up and would do the same if I knew my donor. That said, if I couldn't stop thinking about it then I would probably go see someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP wants to see what her kid's half sibling will look like. I don't think this is stalking or even that weird. Now if OP is driving by her house then that would be weird and stalking. It sounds like normal curiosity to me. I have googled ex's to see what comes up and would do the same if I knew my donor. That said, if I couldn't stop thinking about it then I would probably go see someone.

+1

[Anonymous]

You ditzy women need to realize that when you put "public" as your share option on facebook it becomes exactly that. So many people on here seem to think that no one who doesn't know you should be looking at that. Hate to tell you, but people look at your page, and that is why there is the option to share only "with friends".

[Anonymous]

OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

[Anonymous]

OP you did get suggestions in the first two responses to stop it and some suggestions on how to do that. Will you take them, or were you simply looking for someone to say it was okay to do what you're doing? What is your intention-- to keep looking or walk away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and no this is not a troll post. But I am sitting here laughing at all the judgemental BS some of you are spewing. I was reaching out for some helpful feedback, but my mistake was thinking some of you DCUMs would have an EQ high enough to provide that.

For those of you who who manage to respond without taking your bad day out on me, I really appreciate it. I'm not some crazy woman, just someone who happens to let her curiosity get the best of her. I know plenty of people via forums who did an open egg donation (they know their donors), so I don't consider what I'm doing some heinous crime. The fact is she's a lovely young lady who is smart, gorgeous, and by her FB posts - very sweet. If anything, I'm extremely proud of her.

If you feel like you can't stop looking (your curiosity was sated, great) please get help from a professional to talk through your obsessions.