Ikea during an emergency?

[Anonymous]

I wonder what makes a person dig up a four-year-old thread just to post a lame, humorless response. I wonder what else they do for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought this thread was going to suggest we take refugee there and I thought, "what a great idea". Oh well.

LOL, me too.

[Anonymous]

I agree 100 percent. IKEA is a deathtrap if I fire ever starts. And the furniture is worse than the dollar store. Most of it I wouldn't by if I saw it at a garage sale. The Goodwill store is more inviting. Of course, you may choose to eat a meal there seated at the most uncomfortable tables and chairs on the planet. You have a wide variety of balls to choose from...meat balls, fish balls, chicken balls, salmon balls, cheese balls, fruit balls, dessert balls, fire balls. Then, when you get home and try to put your new furniture together and it takes you a.week to do it and it's still wrong and you have parts left over nothing is lined up, you will beg to shop for Goodwill furniture that someone threw up on, or the dog slept on or the cat vomited on. All you IKEA fans can have at it. Good day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hemnes is in Himmål now, with Jäsus.

Yes!!! Best joke ever on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anyone who believes that in a building that holds five football fields they are only 25 feet from an exit at any given time is smoking something good. Much less that in the chaos of a true emergency all the emergency lights would necessarily work and that the employees would calmly usher every person out the door ...smoke another one before you sober up. This is a store you can't find your way out if under the best circumstances. See you all at IKEA!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a fire, everyone would die, as they have lived, surrounded by cheap assembled flat-pack European-designed pine furniture.

There was such a fire in the UK, and I remember at the memorial service they read out the names of all those who died, interspersed with the names of the furniture lines that perished:

John
Malm
Bjorn
Trysill
Skogn
Peter

etc. Made it all the more poignant, somehow.

Were they buried in Ikea KOFINs?

[Anonymous]

“Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
'Relax' said the night man,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave!”

^^This is why I refer to IKEA as “Hotel California”

[Anonymous]

Have you thought of ordering your things online?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you thought of ordering your things online?

IKEA doesn’t have an option for shipping on many of their items.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only place worse to get out of than IKEA is Michaels. I swear they pump oxygen into the air like the casinos.

I think so too, I have lost hours in Michaels and it feels like I'm high just seeing all the ideas and new stuff I could buy and never finish. Michaels feels so good.

[Anonymous]

Exits sign are clearly marked at IKEA, OP. And then there are the clearly marked shortcuts to cut through the layout - we use them all the time.

I have anxiety, but come on. Yours is through the roof!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100 percent. IKEA is a deathtrap if I fire ever starts. And the furniture is worse than the dollar store. Most of it I wouldn't by if I saw it at a garage sale. The Goodwill store is more inviting. Of course, you may choose to eat a meal there seated at the most uncomfortable tables and chairs on the planet. You have a wide variety of balls to choose from...meat balls, fish balls, chicken balls, salmon balls, cheese balls, fruit balls, dessert balls, fire balls. Then, when you get home and try to put your new furniture together and it takes you a.week to do it and it's still wrong and you have parts left over nothing is lined up, you will beg to shop for Goodwill furniture that someone threw up on, or the dog slept on or the cat vomited on. All you IKEA fans can have at it. Good day!

Hmm. Either you want IKEA to yourself or you're too stupid to put IKEA furniture together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100 percent. IKEA is a deathtrap if I fire ever starts. And the furniture is worse than the dollar store. Most of it I wouldn't by if I saw it at a garage sale. The Goodwill store is more inviting. Of course, you may choose to eat a meal there seated at the most uncomfortable tables and chairs on the planet. You have a wide variety of balls to choose from...meat balls, fish balls, chicken balls, salmon balls, cheese balls, fruit balls, dessert balls, fire balls. Then, when you get home and try to put your new furniture together and it takes you a.week to do it and it's still wrong and you have parts left over nothing is lined up, you will beg to shop for Goodwill furniture that someone threw up on, or the dog slept on or the cat vomited on. All you IKEA fans can have at it. Good day!

How did you even find this old thread? Curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hemnes is in Himmål now, with Jäsus.

Ok, we can shut down DCUM now. Because nothing will ever top this post.

+111111110000000000000

Even though this thread is YEARS old, I missed it the first several times it went around. I cannot stop laughing. All I have to do is think "Hemnes is in Himmel" and I lose it.

And, thank you for the link to Baby Jesus weeping in heaven because of BJs at Christmas. OMG! I don't know when I've laughed so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100 percent. IKEA is a deathtrap if I fire ever starts. And the furniture is worse than the dollar store. Most of it I wouldn't by if I saw it at a garage sale. The Goodwill store is more inviting. Of course, you may choose to eat a meal there seated at the most uncomfortable tables and chairs on the planet. You have a wide variety of balls to choose from...meat balls, fish balls, chicken balls, salmon balls, cheese balls, fruit balls, dessert balls, fire balls. Then, when you get home and try to put your new furniture together and it takes you a.week to do it and it's still wrong and you have parts left over nothing is lined up, you will beg to shop for Goodwill furniture that someone threw up on, or the dog slept on or the cat vomited on. All you IKEA fans can have at it. Good day!

How did you even find this old thread? Curious.

They walked in a large circle three times, and kept ending up at the POÄNG’s. They’re still not sure how they stumbled here.