Co-worker taking advantage of flexibility but I can't do anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

She's in a managerial role but who is she managing if you only have four people in the office? Do you have one direct report and she has two? You say you have flexible hours. Define flexible. Is she allowed to come in during a certain time range, and then leave eight hours later, or what? You NEVER take unplanned days? So, your kids do not get sick, correct? You are "much more involved when out of the office"? And how does she know you are much more involved? is that part of her job description, to be involved in the office when she's out of the office and has signed for leave? The one thing I can tell you is no matter who you hire, they're going to have things about them you like and things you wish you could change. So decide if this is getting to be a deal breaker, and if so, address it with her. Being both boss and friend almost never works.

Sorry, but this is too psycho for me to answer. Have you ever worked in an office?
I almost never (can think of one time in the past two years) have said I'm not coming in the same day.
I regularly respond to emails and initiate work stuff when I am out of the office, whether I'm on the clock or not. If my kid is sick, I split with my husband and/or work (actually work) from home. She is very aware that I am always reachable and always responsive.
Your last sentence I agree with.

Actually, you seem slightly psycho OP. You've devoted the better part of 5 hours to your thread. For you, that's working. For your subordinate, I'm guessing it would be considered not working.

The better part of 5 hours? I've refreshed the thread a few times and spent less than 5 minutes writing responses. There seem to be a number of understanding posters on here - my guess is that those are the people in similar roles to mine. Thanks to all who responded thoughtfully.

If all of her work is getting done what's the issue?

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with others that you blurred the lines between being a manager and manager/friend.

If the employee has already exceeded her leave allotments, just wait until her baby arrives and then she has to take off for appointments, sick leave, childcare problems, etc... If she has the understanding that you and your office's "friendly, flexibility" policy will support additional, unaccrued leave, then that would be taking advantage.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to separate what you do from what she does. What are the actual policies? You are a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to separate what you do from what she does. What are the actual policies? You are a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Why and how exactly? Because I'm frustrated with what I perceive as potentially taking advantage? We are a very small organization with no set policies. I've been extremely generous with her, probably to a fault, in the past, which is likely why this situation is occurring now (allotting her extra sick leave, teleworking, etc). I feel like if she were working somewhere else, this definitely wouldn't fly.

The more I think about it, the more I think the issue is with her inaccessibility on the days she claims to be teleworking. Of course, if she's taking paid leave, she shouldn't be working.

[Anonymous]

"Being both boss and friend almost never works."

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

" I've been extremely generous with her, probably to a fault, in the past, which is likely why this situation is occurring now (allotting her extra sick leave, teleworking, etc). I feel like if she were working somewhere else, this definitely wouldn't fly. "

Stop being a doormat and be a manager! Problem solved. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to separate what you do from what she does. What are the actual policies? You are a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Why and how exactly? Because I'm frustrated with what I perceive as potentially taking advantage? We are a very small organization with no set policies. I've been extremely generous with her, probably to a fault, in the past, which is likely why this situation is occurring now (allotting her extra sick leave, teleworking, etc). I feel like if she were working somewhere else, this definitely wouldn't fly.

The more I think about it, the more I think the issue is with her inaccessibility on the days she claims to be teleworking. Of course, if she's taking paid leave, she shouldn't be working.

OP - it sounds like your organization needs (if you don't already have) written policy regarding availability during telework, exceeding your leave allotment, etc. You need to be able to reference these when you speak to her regarding expectations and her performance. Take your feelings and emotions, especially about her pregnancy, out of it. You are coming off as holier-than-thou (I NEVER take an unplanned day off, I ALWAYS work when I'm out of the office).

[Anonymous]

Honestly, OP, I think you have two problems that you conflated into one and that has caused plenty of blowback from PPs.

The first problem is her performance and the issue of whether or not she is abusing flexibility and under reporting her work hours. The is purely a performance issue. It doesn't matter if she is pregnant, or ill, or having personal issues (pregnancy is not, in and of itself, a disability, and we set women's rights back a hundred years if we start looking at it as such.) That said, pregnancy complications are legit reasons to take allotted sick time and are a good reason to extend earn backs or the option of unpaid time off to address.

Your second problem is your concern about how her pregnancy affects your maternity leave. This is a personal issue, likely magnified by the fact that you are friends with her. You want her to step up, have your back, and deliver in the manner you want her to deliver so you can go on leave with no worries. The problem is, this is not really a fair request, if she is having a hard time, and your focus on this aspect makes you look insensitive. She is disappointing you in the friend arena, and that's not an appropriate reason for you to be upset with her, professionally.

IMO, separate the issues. Deal with her performance and deal with your anxiety about leave.

I hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, I think you have two problems that you conflated into one and that has caused plenty of blowback from PPs.

The first problem is her performance and the issue of whether or not she is abusing flexibility and under reporting her work hours. The is purely a performance issue. It doesn't matter if she is pregnant, or ill, or having personal issues (pregnancy is not, in and of itself, a disability, and we set women's rights back a hundred years if we start looking at it as such.) That said, pregnancy complications are legit reasons to take allotted sick time and are a good reason to extend earn backs or the option of unpaid time off to address.

Your second problem is your concern about how her pregnancy affects your maternity leave. This is a personal issue, likely magnified by the fact that you are friends with her. You want her to step up, have your back, and deliver in the manner you want her to deliver so you can go on leave with no worries. The problem is, this is not really a fair request, if she is having a hard time, and your focus on this aspect makes you look insensitive. She is disappointing you in the friend arena, and that's not an appropriate reason for you to be upset with her, professionally.

IMO, separate the issues. Deal with her performance and deal with your anxiety about leave.

I hope this helps.

Excellent advice! OP I definitely understand your frustration and hope you ignore most of the nasties here. PP is right on where you should focus your attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, I think you have two problems that you conflated into one and that has caused plenty of blowback from PPs.

The first problem is her performance and the issue of whether or not she is abusing flexibility and under reporting her work hours. The is purely a performance issue. It doesn't matter if she is pregnant, or ill, or having personal issues (pregnancy is not, in and of itself, a disability, and we set women's rights back a hundred years if we start looking at it as such.) That said, pregnancy complications are legit reasons to take allotted sick time and are a good reason to extend earn backs or the option of unpaid time off to address.

Your second problem is your concern about how her pregnancy affects your maternity leave. This is a personal issue, likely magnified by the fact that you are friends with her. You want her to step up, have your back, and deliver in the manner you want her to deliver so you can go on leave with no worries. The problem is, this is not really a fair request, if she is having a hard time, and your focus on this aspect makes you look insensitive. She is disappointing you in the friend arena, and that's not an appropriate reason for you to be upset with her, professionally.

IMO, separate the issues. Deal with her performance and deal with your anxiety about leave.

I hope this helps.

Excellent advice! OP I definitely understand your frustration and hope you ignore most of the nasties here. PP is right on where you should focus your attention.

Actually, I thought OP came across as really rude and unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Female boss is the worst. THE WORST.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to separate what you do from what she does. What are the actual policies? You are a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Why and how exactly? Because I'm frustrated with what I perceive as potentially taking advantage? We are a very small organization with no set policies. I've been extremely generous with her, probably to a fault, in the past, which is likely why this situation is occurring now (allotting her extra sick leave, teleworking, etc). I feel like if she were working somewherwhe

The more I think about it, the more I think the issue is with her inaccessibility on the days she claims to be teleworking. Of course, if she's taking paid leave, she shouldn't be working.

OP, it doesn't matter that your company has no set policy. there are still legal issues.

I'm not a labor attorney, but the little I know about that area is that you cannot deny a pregnant woman an accommodation you would make for another employee with a health issue. So it doesn't matter that you think you are generous. If you allow other employees, even just one other employee, to take sick leave in advance or telecommute when they have a health issue, then you will have some legal trouble if you suddenly deny her that accommodation now that she is pregnant, especially if she is able to get her doctor to verify her difficulties.

If you have a problem with her work product, you need to address that, but your constant mention of how generous you are and how you just suck it up when you're pregnant is a recipe for legal trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female boss is the worst. THE WORST.

+1

[Anonymous]

It is terrible when people say they are "working from home" or "teleworking" but aren't really working and/or aren't available. THAT sets back the cause for the rest of us that actually DO log in for 8 hours and work for the work day.

If she is sick but not taking sick leave and calling it "telework" this is a problem. (But be sure that others are also logging their sick leave hours, and actually teleworking too).

[Anonymous]

Is she getting her work done, accomplishing her tasks? If yes, discussion over. If not, you need to talk to her about the results. Try to think of it in terms of results, instead of time in the chair. Read Why Work Sucks And How to Fix It. I'm serious. That book revolutionized my organization.