Co-worker taking advantage of flexibility but I can't do anything

[Anonymous]

OP you need to separate her performance issue from your maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had really bad morning sickness my entire pregnancy.
Morning sickness can be really debilitating. There were some days I threw up 5 or 6 times. After you throw up so much it really causes your stomach to hurt like hell and makes you feel dizzy and weak from the lack of nourishment. I ended up hospitalized twice from it.

I threw up in restuarants, cars, on the train, all over the place. It is one of the main reasons I haven't pushed for child number 2.

Your pregnancy is no indication of how hers should or will be. Some people fly through pregnancy easy peasy, while others are bedridden the entire time.

Would you rather she come in the office and puke all over the place? Maybe she can come in pass out and now your office is disrupted by a medical emergency.

Honestly, it sounds to me like you are just being insensitive and yeah I am sensing a little jealousy. Maybe you are mad all the attention isn't on you.

Speculate much?

This is not even CLOSE to what OP said. Jealousy? Major reading comprehension issues on this thread. She also said the co-worker isn't puking (knows because she told her). Please, people.

It doesn't matter the reason, many people get very sick early in pregnancy for several reasons. Plus people all handle sickness differently.
If it's her first child, these new feelings may be overwhelming for her also. Not only did I have bad morning sickness, but I felt ill all over. When I was pregnant I always said it's the closest I think I've ever felt like death. We had a girl at my church die during child birth from a heart attack, she was ill her entire pregnancy and continued to work full time plus help take care of two other children.

Op, needs to play her part and stop acting like she has an M.D.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can hold it against her if she doesn't work on vacation days and if she takes sick days. If she is not getting her work done and that is your concern and your concern for making sure she does your work when you are gone, address that. But it seems silly to be annoyed and hold it against her that she doesn't work on vacation days and that she takes sick days. I think that is why you are getting push back from people right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can hold it against her if she doesn't work on vacation days and if she takes sick days. If she is not getting her work done and that is your concern and your concern for making sure she does your work when you are gone, address that. But it seems silly to be annoyed and hold it against her that she doesn't work on vacation days and that she takes sick days. I think that is why you are getting push back from people right now.

OP here - this is fair. She has put in for sick days the days she is actually out of the office though she is over her allotment and will have to 'earn' it back by end of year. She is technically telecommuting the days she comes in late but realistically isn't doing anything during that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can hold it against her if she doesn't work on vacation days and if she takes sick days. If she is not getting her work done and that is your concern and your concern for making sure she does your work when you are gone, address that. But it seems silly to be annoyed and hold it against her that she doesn't work on vacation days and that she takes sick days. I think that is why you are getting push back from people right now.

OP here - this is fair. She has put in for sick days the days she is actually out of the office though she is over her allotment and will have to 'earn' it back by end of year. She is technically telecommuting the days she comes in late but realistically isn't doing anything during that time.

Then I think this is what you discuss with her. Not the other stuff. If telecommuting isn't working, you need to talk to her about it and possibly take it off the table or find a way to monitor what she's doing. DH had a similar problem with a male employee (hypochondriac) and DH would video call him at various times during the day. He also started using a login program (I know I'm not describing it right) where you can only log in via laptop or home computer and signs you off if you are idle for X number of minutes. By doing these two things, he has been more productive while telecommuting. My old office allowed us to do what you describe with sick and vacation days, so I don't have much of a suggestion regarding that. It seemed to work out fine with the understanding that if the days were not "earned back" by the end of the year (when our PTO started again), pay would be docked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you can hold it against her if she doesn't work on vacation days and if she takes sick days. If she is not getting her work done and that is your concern and your concern for making sure she does your work when you are gone, address that. But it seems silly to be annoyed and hold it against her that she doesn't work on vacation days and that she takes sick days. I think that is why you are getting push back from people right now.

OP here - this is fair. She has put in for sick days the days she is actually out of the office though she is over her allotment and will have to 'earn' it back by end of year. She is technically telecommuting the days she comes in late but realistically isn't doing anything during that time.

Do you know this for a fact? If she is documenting her sick time (and your HR policy allows for her to go in the negative, however you feel about it personally) then I don't see what she is doing wrong. You freely admit she is a strong employee.

Try to separate the issue of your pregnancy and maternity leave from her pregnancy. If her performance suffers, that's when you can put your foot down. But a little empathy and flexibility for her situation might be nice since she'll be picking up your slack during your maternity leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

She's in a managerial role but who is she managing if you only have four people in the office? Do you have one direct report and she has two? You say you have flexible hours. Define flexible. Is she allowed to come in during a certain time range, and then leave eight hours later, or what? You NEVER take unplanned days? So, your kids do not get sick, correct? You are "much more involved when out of the office"? And how does she know you are much more involved? is that part of her job description, to be involved in the office when she's out of the office and has signed for leave? The one thing I can tell you is no matter who you hire, they're going to have things about them you like and things you wish you could change. So decide if this is getting to be a deal breaker, and if so, address it with her. Being both boss and friend almost never works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

What kind of job expects people do work on their sick and vacation days??? I guess you'll be working on maternity leave too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

What kind of job expects people do work on their sick and vacation days??? I guess you'll be working on maternity leave too?

Ok, I've tried to be relaxed here (this is OP), but are you even reading the thread? She is over her sick time allotment and will have to earn it back before the end of the year. The times she is out and it isn't a full day, she says she is teleworking, but she isn't (not responding to emails, not being proactive on things she IS proactive on in the office, etc). And yes, I will be working here and there during my maternity leave (that's a tradeoff for the general flexibility of the job). I also won't be getting paid. She is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

She's in a managerial role but who is she managing if you only have four people in the office? Do you have one direct report and she has two? You say you have flexible hours. Define flexible. Is she allowed to come in during a certain time range, and then leave eight hours later, or what? You NEVER take unplanned days? So, your kids do not get sick, correct? You are "much more involved when out of the office"? And how does she know you are much more involved? is that part of her job description, to be involved in the office when she's out of the office and has signed for leave? The one thing I can tell you is no matter who you hire, they're going to have things about them you like and things you wish you could change. So decide if this is getting to be a deal breaker, and if so, address it with her. Being both boss and friend almost never works.

Sorry, but this is too psycho for me to answer. Have you ever worked in an office?
I almost never (can think of one time in the past two years) have said I'm not coming in the same day.
I regularly respond to emails and initiate work stuff when I am out of the office, whether I'm on the clock or not. If my kid is sick, I split with my husband and/or work (actually work) from home. She is very aware that I am always reachable and always responsive.
Your last sentence I agree with.

[Anonymous]

You don't get ST disability or the opportunity to use sick leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

She's in a managerial role but who is she managing if you only have four people in the office? Do you have one direct report and she has two? You say you have flexible hours. Define flexible. Is she allowed to come in during a certain time range, and then leave eight hours later, or what? You NEVER take unplanned days? So, your kids do not get sick, correct? You are "much more involved when out of the office"? And how does she know you are much more involved? is that part of her job description, to be involved in the office when she's out of the office and has signed for leave? The one thing I can tell you is no matter who you hire, they're going to have things about them you like and things you wish you could change. So decide if this is getting to be a deal breaker, and if so, address it with her. Being both boss and friend almost never works.

Sorry, but this is too psycho for me to answer. Have you ever worked in an office?
I almost never (can think of one time in the past two years) have said I'm not coming in the same day.
I regularly respond to emails and initiate work stuff when I am out of the office, whether I'm on the clock or not. If my kid is sick, I split with my husband and/or work (actually work) from home. She is very aware that I am always reachable and always responsive.
Your last sentence I agree with.

Actually, you seem slightly psycho OP. You've devoted the better part of 5 hours to your thread. For you, that's working. For your subordinate, I'm guessing it would be considered not working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I'm stuck on the fact that OP said this is a low paying job. What was this employee's track record before the morning sickness issue? Does she actually complete all her tasks even though she's late for work all the time? If not, it's not as though you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want pretty much. You're the boss. You choose not to because you may not be able to get a high performing lackey in a low paying job too quickly, at least not one who will perform to your expectations and be able to do your job (at no additional pay) while you take your second maternity leave. The problem with being a supervisor is, it's not just sitting around watching other people work. Oftentimes I've been in the position of having to pick up the slack when one of my employees isn't able to perform for whatever reason (vacation, maternity leave, paternity leave, bereavement leave, FMLA for caregiving to a critically ill relative etc etc). It's why being a supervisor is often not much fun and it's what factors in to the pay differential.

OP here - this thread has taken a weird turn. To address this post - she's not a lackey. She is in a managerial role in a low paying (think academia/non profit) industry. She has always been a strong employee but does have a history of taking a lot of time off. She may perceive that I do too, but I'm much more involved when I'm out of the office (and I never take unplanned days).

Not sure how this is relevant but this is my second child but first maternity leave here. I was at another job when I had my first.

She's in a managerial role but who is she managing if you only have four people in the office? Do you have one direct report and she has two? You say you have flexible hours. Define flexible. Is she allowed to come in during a certain time range, and then leave eight hours later, or what? You NEVER take unplanned days? So, your kids do not get sick, correct? You are "much more involved when out of the office"? And how does she know you are much more involved? is that part of her job description, to be involved in the office when she's out of the office and has signed for leave? The one thing I can tell you is no matter who you hire, they're going to have things about them you like and things you wish you could change. So decide if this is getting to be a deal breaker, and if so, address it with her. Being both boss and friend almost never works.

Sorry, but this is too psycho for me to answer. Have you ever worked in an office?
I almost never (can think of one time in the past two years) have said I'm not coming in the same day.
I regularly respond to emails and initiate work stuff when I am out of the office, whether I'm on the clock or not. If my kid is sick, I split with my husband and/or work (actually work) from home. She is very aware that I am always reachable and always responsive.
Your last sentence I agree with.

Actually, you seem slightly psycho OP. You've devoted the better part of 5 hours to your thread. For you, that's working. For your subordinate, I'm guessing it would be considered not working.

The better part of 5 hours? I've refreshed the thread a few times and spent less than 5 minutes writing responses. There seem to be a number of understanding posters on here - my guess is that those are the people in similar roles to mine. Thanks to all who responded thoughtfully.