are there any black people on here..?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

PP back: As someone else posted, you are posting from a position of privilege that you do not realize you have, and others who are minotiries do not have the luxury of being able to attain that nonchalance. Color does matter. People see it. People make assumptions about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

Because the implied assumption in a comment like that is that your race DOES matter. If it didn't, why would anyone have to say it? No one talks about the obvious and unanimous. You don't mind that comment, PP, because you don't have to worry about the status your race carries or wonder if the person who makes that comment shares an ideology that dominated this country for almost all of its existence.

[Anonymous]

Star bellied sneech here....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an AA woman. While I sometimes get upset at some of the things said about black people, I also find it quite interesting how (some) white people seem obsessed about black people (what we're doing, why we're doing it, etc).

It would be flattering if the intent wasn't so insulting.

I'm interested in what you're doing and why you're doing it, only because I wish to know more, in order to get along better.

Your tendency to take offense at every turn is one of the things I'd like to understand. So hard to be friends with someone who assumes my intent is insulting.

^^A genuine account of one's feelings, laced with tiny barbs...and no progress is made.^^
Sigh.

The first PP opened herself up to the barb.

[Anonymous]

Hi, super poor white woman living in Upper NW here!
I live and pay mortgage on "shoebox" (410 sq ft efficiency)so my son can go to the awesome neighborhood school!
I have had people ask "whose address am I using for the school!?"mhm...funny.
The topics in the forum are very interesting, but in no way do I identify myself with the upper-middle class white women here.I find them to be too over the top-"looking for cool moms", " my husband this and my husband that"-yikes!
The black women's view is refreshing and welcome.
Sorry for funny English-me foreigner.

[Anonymous]

I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more. And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group. People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else. That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged. If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness. It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way. I know, because I'm white and I've been there. It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself. But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed. Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an AA woman. While I sometimes get upset at some of the things said about black people, I also find it quite interesting how (some) white people seem obsessed about black people (what we're doing, why we're doing it, etc).

It would be flattering if the intent wasn't so insulting.

I'm interested in what you're doing and why you're doing it, only because I wish to know more, in order to get along better.

Your tendency to take offense at every turn is one of the things I'd like to understand. So hard to be friends with someone who assumes my intent is insulting.

^^A genuine account of one's feelings, laced with tiny barbs...and no progress is made.^^
Sigh.

The first PP opened herself up to the barb.

In what way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

PP back: As someone else posted, you are posting from a position of privilege that you do not realize you have, and others who are minotiries do not have the luxury of being able to attain that nonchalance. Color does matter. People see it. People make assumptions about it.

Very true. And the people most affected by this today are Latinos (illegal!) and Arab-Americans (terrorist!), not AA (I have seen many more respected and integrated AA, in multiple cities, than either Latinos or Arab-Am). Yes, color matters, but many other factors matter too, perhaps even more. It's time to look inward, and forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more. And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group. People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else. That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged. If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness. It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way. I know, because I'm white and I've been there. It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself. But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed. Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

This is great advice and a great post. One of the things that I sometimes find frustrating when discussing race relations is the tendency of some white women to get very defensive and instead of learning something from the exercise, they come away feeling like I (as a black woman), have a chip on my shoulder/am an A.B.W./am playing the race card/am wallowing in victimhood, etc. NOTHING gets accomplished when you take these hard-nosed positions. Rather than turn away when things get uncomfortable, push through that point to (hopefully) gain new knowledge and understanding.

IMO, ignoring race and/or pretending color doesn't matter does more harm than good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

PP back: As someone else posted, you are posting from a position of privilege that you do not realize you have, and others who are minotiries do not have the luxury of being able to attain that nonchalance. Color does matter. People see it. People make assumptions about it.

Very true. And the people most affected by this today are Latinos (illegal!) and Arab-Americans (terrorist!), not AA (I have seen many more respected and integrated AA, in multiple cities, than either Latinos or Arab-Am). Yes, color matters, but many other factors matter too, perhaps even more. It's time to look inward, and forward.

This is not a racism competition. I find your comment a bit disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more.[/b] And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group. People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else. That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged. If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness. It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way. I know, because I'm white and I've been there. It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself. But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed. Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

These are the posts that anger me and I dont understand. I could say the same thing to you. I wish AA people would put down their defenses and listen more. Why are you generalizing an entire race. Its absurd!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

PP back: As someone else posted, you are posting from a position of privilege that you do not realize you have, and others who are minotiries do not have the luxury of being able to attain that nonchalance. Color does matter. People see it. People make assumptions about it.

Very true. And the people most affected by this today are Latinos (illegal!) and Arab-Americans (terrorist!), not AA (I have seen many more respected and integrated AA, in multiple cities, than either Latinos or Arab-Am). Yes, color matters, but many other factors matter too, perhaps even more. It's time to look inward, and forward.

This is not a racism competition. I find your comment a bit disingenuous.

I agree this is not a racism competition. I find your comment a bit defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more.[/b] And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group. People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else. That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged. If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness. It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way. I know, because I'm white and I've been there. It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself. But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed. Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

These are the posts that anger me and I dont understand. I could say the same thing to you. I wish AA people would put down their defenses and listen more. Why are you generalizing an entire race. Its absurd!

Wow...you've proven the pp's point. Rather than take offense and *get defensive* why not embrace the idea, if it applies to you?

Turning this into a "well, why don't you do it too" thing is juvenile, creates hostility and gets us nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else wish that the human race would evolve to the point that COLOR DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE?? So many people (black, white, asian, arab, etc) are so uptight about color/race. I really hope that eventually, we won't even pay attention to the color of people's skin, and only focus on the fact that we are all the same - human beings. We need to come together as human beings, not keep perpetuating separating ourselves into color groups.

I saw someone reference a post where someone asked about an AA play group. WHY? Why would you actively seek to place your child in a play group with only kids of your color? Why would that be healthy for the child? Wouldn't it be better to have a diverse play group?

No, and I am saying this as a white person. It is not healthy for someone to deny who they are and to hear from everyone else, "But it doesn't MATTER that you're black/white/red/yellow/take your pick." Would you want to hear someone say to you, "It doesn't matter that you're white. No, really, it doesn't. I like you no matter what color you are." That kind of makes you feel like, icky, like, gosh, is white not a 'good' color to be? If not, then why wouldn't it matter? Why is everyone professing so hard that it doesn't matter, so, in fact, maybe it does?" Do you see what I am saying here, PP? It's better to, for lack of a better word, embrace it and go with it.

Umm, I'm white, and yea, I would rather hear someone say it doesn't matter that I'm white. Why would that make me feel icky?

PP back: As someone else posted, you are posting from a position of privilege that you do not realize you have, and others who are minotiries do not have the luxury of being able to attain that nonchalance. Color does matter. People see it. People make assumptions about it.

Very true. And the people most affected by this today are Latinos (illegal!) and Arab-Americans (terrorist!), not AA (I have seen many more respected and integrated AA, in multiple cities, than either Latinos or Arab-Am). Yes, color matters, but many other factors matter too, perhaps even more. It's time to look inward, and forward.

This is not a racism competition. I find your comment a bit disingenuous.

I agree this is not a racism competition. I find your comment a bit defensive.

I'm not surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]I wish white people would put down their defenses and listen more.[/b] And after listening and trying to understand the other perspective, try to convey that they've learned something.

Most comments are too subtle for some people to understand why they're problematic, like the comment above about the play group. People tend not to realize when they're making assumptions, about race or anything else. That's why they're assumptions. We need to be open to having our assumptions challenged. If you really want to live in a post-racist world, put down your defenses and engage in a real dialogue.

It's painful when someone accuses you of racism or racial cluelessness. It's like you're being told you're ugly in some fundamental way. I know, because I'm white and I've been there. It's often embarrassing, even shameful, and goes against the core of what you believe about yourself. But if you're white and you find yourself in that situation, turn into it and become more informed. Then you'll be more like the person you think you are.

Stepping down from the soapbox now. . .

These are the posts that anger me and I dont understand. I could say the same thing to you. I wish AA people would put down their defenses and listen more. Why are you generalizing an entire race. Its absurd!

Wow...you've proven the pp's point. Rather than take offense and *get defensive* why not embrace the idea, if it applies to you?

Turning this into a "well, why don't you do it too" thing is juvenile, creates hostility and gets us nowhere.

You completely missed MY point. Thats on you not me.