Long term affects - good or bad - of holding back from kindergarten

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school district posted a message in the town newsletter telling parents that it was expected that they would enroll their five year olds in kindergarten. Any requests for exceptions would need to be addressed with the school.

I am curious to see whether there is a backlash in the public schools around this issue, with parents arriving to enroll 6 year olds in K and having them placed in 1st.

[Anonymous]

I was held back - did two years of kindergarten. Looking back, I really commend my parents for having the gumption to do so. I was really immature at the time, and really, was probably a year behind socially and emotionally all through my elementary and secondary schooling. Holding me back put me on par with my peers; I would've been behind emotionally if they had kept me with my age group, and probably stigmatized for it.

Sure, I graduated high school at 19, but it was a good thing. I wouldn't have been ready for college at 18, and in some ways, I was more responsible than a lot of freshmen when I finally did enter college.

I would hold back my child if they showed significant signs of social immaturity. I would not do it however, if my child was a late spring/summer baby, or small for my age. DC actually does fit both of those profiles (he's in the bottom 5% for weight/height), but has a ton of friends, is thriving academically, and is one of the top competitors in the sports he plays. So size or birthdate should have nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry---but frickin' May, pp???!?!?!!

WTF? That sh*t just pisses me off. I have a late April child and unless he had SERIOUS issues and we were advised by medical professionals there is no way I would even consider holding him back. He's on the smaller side as well.

Really--where do we f*cking draw the line anymore? I have a September kid too, btw.

May, give me a break.

Please calm down, you are way overreacting. There is no reason for you to be angry about the decisions of other parents. These are not easy decisions, and there are excellent reasons to hold kids back in certain situations. Mine your own business and chill out.

People are idiots. Kids with spring--April/May birthdays are going to make huge strides in the 5 months in terms of maturity. Any preschool teacher will tell you that. Judging a kid's normal behavior (no special needs or underlying behavior) and comparing him to kid's a full year ahead, e.g,. the kids you are watching already had 8 months of Kindergarten to learn that behavior. The K teacher works the whole first semester on getting kids to sit and listen (ours had a reward jar, a penny chart, etc...all kinds of creative ways). Maybe you should visit a K class the first few weeks of K and not the end of the K year to get a better picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school district posted a message in the town newsletter telling parents that it was expected that they would enroll their five year olds in kindergarten. Any requests for exceptions would need to be addressed with the school.

I am curious to see whether there is a backlash in the public schools around this issue, with parents arriving to enroll 6 year olds in K and having them placed in 1st.

We know people that sent their kid to a different K and then tried to enroll them in our public K class and they put the kids in first grade.

[Anonymous]

I know two families who held their sons back for being immature. Guess what? the boys are still immature. But now, they are bigger, taller and "cooler" than their classmates, and are now ringleaders in classroom foolishness. Don't hold your kids back without addressing the issue that led to your decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know two families who held their sons back for being immature. Guess what? the boys are still immature. But now, they are bigger, taller and "cooler" than their classmates, and are now ringleaders in classroom foolishness. Don't hold your kids back without addressing the issue that led to your decision.

We held my DS back and yes he is bigger and taller than most of his classmates (but not all-even some of the girls are taller)

He is no ringleader in any classroom foolishnesses. He takes his studies seriously which would have been hard given some of his social and learning issues had he gone on time. He worked hard to overcome lots of them.

some of the on time kids who are smaller seem to lead the way in being the cool kids, causing lots of issues including lots of bullying. IME, it is the kid not the size or the age that causes the issues.

[Anonymous]

One of our friends (a teacher) had four children with spring birthdays. She held them ALL back a year. Three of the four lost interest in high school by the end of junior year, and had a lackluster senior year. They were "done" with it by then. My friend said it was a huge mistake to do that. None of her kids had delays or special needs. They had spring birthdays. They wished they had gone on time, and she wished she had sent them on time.

[Anonymous]

I am the PP whose town posted a notice that kids need to start Kindergarten at age 5. Yes, if you show up with your 6.5 year old kid, they will be almost always be put in first grade. If the student has special needs, they will be given support services, in their grade, for their age. The school has a great team of special educators and they keep kids in their grade for their age with a ton of support. An occasional student will be held back, but that is rare.

If you are planning to have your child attend public school, and you are holding them back from kindergarten, do talk to the school soon so you are clear before you make a decision. You may have a first grader next year, instead of a kindergartener.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose town posted a notice that kids need to start Kindergarten at age 5. Yes, if you show up with your 6.5 year old kid, they will be almost always be put in first grade. If the student has special needs, they will be given support services, in their grade, for their age. The school has a great team of special educators and they keep kids in their grade for their age with a ton of support. An occasional student will be held back, but that is rare.

If you are planning to have your child attend public school, and you are holding them back from kindergarten, do talk to the school soon so you are clear before you make a decision. You may have a first grader next year, instead of a kindergartener.

which town is this?

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

Slightly off topic, but you also run in to the possibility of your held back kids being on sports teams with none of their class friends because the age difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose town posted a notice that kids need to start Kindergarten at age 5. Yes, if you show up with your 6.5 year old kid, they will be almost always be put in first grade. If the student has special needs, they will be given support services, in their grade, for their age. The school has a great team of special educators and they keep kids in their grade for their age with a ton of support. An occasional student will be held back, but that is rare.

If you are planning to have your child attend public school, and you are holding them back from kindergarten, do talk to the school soon so you are clear before you make a decision. You may have a first grader next year, instead of a kindergartener.

That is fantastic.

[Anonymous]

Mo Co just makes you fill out a form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose town posted a notice that kids need to start Kindergarten at age 5. Yes, if you show up with your 6.5 year old kid, they will be almost always be put in first grade. If the student has special needs, they will be given support services, in their grade, for their age. The school has a great team of special educators and they keep kids in their grade for their age with a ton of support. An occasional student will be held back, but that is rare.

If you are planning to have your child attend public school, and you are holding them back from kindergarten, do talk to the school soon so you are clear before you make a decision. You may have a first grader next year, instead of a kindergartener.

which town is this?

Must be not DMV.

[Anonymous]

Curious - if it is so absurd to hold back a late Spring birthday, why is it so accepted to hold back a Summer birthday?

[Anonymous]

I think people are referring to the August/September birthdays and not he June birthdays. We plan to send our September birthday child on time, but I can see why others would hold them back. I think it would be really odd to have an April birthday child a full year ahead of the other children especially starting out in school.