If a friend is in town but doesn't get in touch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand your post. She's doing something all weekend with a different group of people who you don't know. That seems legit.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son and his wife were recently in our town and they live 650 miles away. They were with friends and did not bother to call, but managed to post the pics on Instagram. I am extremely hurt since my husband and I make the trip to see them twice a year. Not sure how to proceed from here.

I’d be hurt and angry, too. Don’t stew about it, just tell them how you’re feeling and see how they respond.

[Anonymous]

She is here for a bachelorette party. They are doing things as a group. I would not feel offended.

DH’s only cousin was in dc for a wedding. I saw it on social media. I thought it was odd that they didn’t reach out. Next time Dh talked to him, he mentioned it to him and the cousin said they weee only in dc for 2 days for the wedding. They could easily have had breakfast with us but they didn’t reach out.

I am from nyc. I used to reach out every time I went up to friends. I reach out less and less.

[Anonymous]

She didn’t respond because the answer was she did not have time. I would think you only wanted a response if I had time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I call those "unofficial" visits: when we are in town where there are friends/family that we either don't want to see or don't have time to see. Its just just easier not to mention it, rather than trying to arrange coffee or explain why we can't/dont't want to. That said, I certainly wouldn't post pictures on Facebook.

This is what I do. Sometimes when I go to my home town my husband doesn't want to meet up with my old school friends because he doesn't really know them. I don't advertise on Facebook that l've visited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does it annoy you or do you not care? If someone is in town for a business trip or a family obligation like a wedding -- even if they told me they’d have time to hang out but they never get in touch, I don’t usually care; I have traveled enough for work/family to know that time fills up and sometimes there are post-meeting dinner obligations etc. to where you can’t just tell someone you’re going to go meet a friend.

But this time a friend is in town from the Midwest from Thursday-Sunday for a bachelorette weekend (I don’t know the bachelorette). She didn’t tell me, I saw it on FB that she had flown in and sent her a message saying “didn’t know you’d be in town; if you have time to hang out, let me know.” No response, so I assumed she’s pretty booked and that’s fine, except she’s posting on Facebook every hour of the day that they’re wandering around this part of town, at x restaurant, at y bar -- i.e. nothing crucial. Is it just Facebook etiquette? I feel like if I go to a city where I have a friend and I don’t want to hang out bc it’s a short trip/I just want to be lazy in the hotel etc, I don’t advertise my whereabouts because I don’t want my friend to feel like I blew them off in favor of doing nothing.

You aren't really fine with it because you are judging her on how she spends her time. Why do you think that you have to be included?

[Anonymous]

Don't be so clingy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son and his wife were recently in our town and they live 650 miles away. They were with friends and did not bother to call, but managed to post the pics on Instagram. I am extremely hurt since my husband and I make the trip to see them twice a year. Not sure how to proceed from here.

This is a choice. Are you sure you don't want more than a phone call? Perhaps you are too judgemental and they want a night with friends without the guilt. What does you visiting have anything to do with them not visiting you? You want to visit them but, perhaps they are so happy to see you?

Talk to your son and find out the reason and perhaps you can change so they want to visit you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son and his wife were recently in our town and they live 650 miles away. They were with friends and did not bother to call, but managed to post the pics on Instagram. I am extremely hurt since my husband and I make the trip to see them twice a year. Not sure how to proceed from here.

This is a choice. Are you sure you don't want more than a phone call? Perhaps you are too judgemental and they want a night with friends without the guilt. What does you visiting have anything to do with them not visiting you? You want to visit them but, perhaps they are so happy to see you?

Talk to your son and find out the reason and perhaps you can change so they want to visit you.

Not so happy to see you..correction

[Anonymous]

People ...this post is from 2018

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People ...this post is from 2018

Actually 2013.

[Anonymous]

She should have responded to your message but it is fine she doesnt have time to see you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People ...this post is from 2018

Actually 2013.

Even better. I don't understand why or how people look for these posts to make their own. Like in no way would I ever think "I want to ask for advice about why my son didn't see me, let me search DCUM for advice. Oh here is a thread from 2013 that really has nothing to do with my situation. I'll comment on it asking for advice!".

It's so dumb.

[Anonymous]

I think op's message was rude. She knows the friend is busy and is making her feel guilty about not being able to hang out. sure I guess friend should respond, but op's message is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Don't take it personally. When I travel to one of the places I used to live for work, which happens a few times a year, I usually avoid seeing people, even people I love dearly, because I just don't have the energy for it.