If a friend is in town but doesn't get in touch

[Anonymous]

I think you should confront her and tell her everything you told us. Honesty is the best policy!

[Anonymous]

Are you close friends, friend friends, or facebook "friends"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should confront her and tell her everything you told us. Honesty is the best policy!

Lol

[Anonymous]

You guys aren't really friends, more like acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omfg op. You stalk her on FB, then decide to insult her friends because they have the nerve to have a bachelorette party, and are mad she hasn't taken time out of her busy weekend to message you back when she probably hasn't even looked. Grow uppppppp

Grow up from the person who uses 7 p's? Are you in middle school too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand your post. She's doing something all weekend with a different group of people who you don't know. That seems legit.

This.

What do you want? You want her to invite you to tag along on someone else's special weekend? Or you want her to ditch her friends?

People like you are exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand your post. She's doing something all weekend with a different group of people who you don't know. That seems legit.

This.

What do you want? You want her to invite you to tag along on someone else's special weekend? Or you want her to ditch her friends?

People like you are exhausting.

I agree. And the follow up post is obnoxious. First - you send her a FB message after seeing her post on FB? Why not call her? Why not text her? Do you live in FB alone? And the follow up post makes it seem that OP doesn't even LIKE her "friend" and is basically insulting her maturity level - all while being immature about her posting on FB her festivities while in town. The whole thread really sounds like high school. So what she didn't respond? Maybe she was posting and kept it moving - and didn't check her FB messages. Maybe she's actually busy for the reasons that she is in town. Either way - OP is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is rude to not respond to a message that you have clearly read. Learn some social skills, and stop being such cowards.

This. There are many times where I've responded with "I would love to see you but I'm only in NYC for 24 hrs or I have planned events the whole time I'm here, we'll catch up next time." We're all adults and people are fine with that. It's the blatent ignoring and then facebook posting that is rude, but I think some of this is the FB generation. Like you OP, I would not FB my entire tour around the city, esp. if it involved nothing signficant and I was ignoring others I knew in town. I realize she's in town for a "special" event but I hardly think the entire pack will be together 24-7 for FOUR days. It's up to her though and just something to keep in mind next time you're in her town.

NP here and I actually have a friend who got very upset with me for not having time for her when I was in town for under 24 hours for a wedding. Some people can’t be adults about it and I think the OP sounds sensitive and overbearing.

[Anonymous]

As someone who moved away from home at 17 for college, please, for the love of all that is holy, just leave her alone. Sometimes, you just want to go home or do whatever without having to contact everyone you know who lives there. Funny, at 40, and since more people have moved away for whatever reason - NOW people understand. You can't see or call everyone when you are on work trips, wedding trips, bachelor(ette) trips, whatever. It's exhausting. No, she may not have an hour (and let's be real, it's not going to be an hour) to carve out of the weekend to see you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]If they're a friend, I automatically give them the benefit of the doubt[/b], and assume they are busy or for some reason can't get together with me. I don't allow myself to take things like that personally. If it happens 3 or 4 times with the same person, then I might ask them about it, but still, with an opened mind.

See the bold, OP. Friends give friends the benefit of the doubt. I'd add that friends shouldn't be insecure or insulted, particularly if it's clear that the friend was in town for a specific event with other people. The real issue is posting their pictures and updates all over Facebook. This kind of nonsense is one reason I don't have and never will have Facebook; it helps feed upset, resentment and drama, and fear of being left out or ignored.

[Anonymous]

A call to you would have been nice. Clearly you aren't going to be included in these group plans, no risk of that. Don't know why she couldn't have made some contact with you but most people, even if I think they should, don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's in town for a bachelorette party. You have nothing to do with what she is here for and she is here with intent. Leave her alone.

This, and no, I wouldn't care.

[Anonymous]

My son and his wife were recently in our town and they live 650 miles away. They were with friends and did not bother to call, but managed to post the pics on Instagram. I am extremely hurt since my husband and I make the trip to see them twice a year. Not sure how to proceed from here.

[Anonymous]

If you sent her a message via FB, it’s possible she doesn’t have the Messenger app and thus cannot read it. That happened to me — for whatever reason, I decided not to download the app, so I had to wait until I got home to read it on my browser.

Other than that, she’s in town for a specific reason. While it would have been nice for her to respond to you, it’s also OK if she chose to not respond until her weekend is over, particularly if she’s busy. Or maybe she feels guilty about not having time and doesn’t know how to respond. Give her grace if she is a friend.

I just came back from my hometown. I was there to take care of my parents and it was really exhausting and stressful. A bunch of HS friends were in town for a reunion, but I did not let anyone know I was also in town because I was tired and I did not want to explain everything to everybody over and over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's not that into you

+1

A true friend makes it work, or asks if you can join one of the activities for a bit so she can see you.