St. Stephens St. Agnes -- Hazing on Boys' Lacrosse

[Anonymous]

Please stop. The misandristic posts against anything high school boys do has got to stop. Your son's father once did the same or similar things without his mother hovering over him. If you hate men (including our son's father) then get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently it is a "tradition" at SSSAS for the seniors on the boys' lacrosse team to shave the heads of the freshman boys (buzz cuts, designs, silly shapes, etc.). This is defended by the Head Coach, also the Athletic Director. I would call that hazing, not tradition. Why is it being allowed? It calls into question the values and philosophy of the institution as a whole.

Please get a grip. Every school does it. The freshman see it as a badge of honor that they made varsity. It does not call into question values or philosophy. It bonds the boys on the team.

Says the mom who buys the team's electric razors.

Weird. DC was another IAC school and there was none of this BS in football. I suppose the little prepsters aren't tired enough from practice in games in LAX. Also never saw the vandalism.

[Anonymous]

If the worst thing that happens during your time in high school is that your head gets shaved, then you probably had a great time. Its a hair cut people; these kids aren't being forced to do anything that could actually harm them in any way. Lacrosse is a tough sport, so it is probably fair to say that any kid good enough to make the team as a freshman will not be permanently scarred from an ugly hair cut they had to wear for a day. If your kid really had a huge issue with it then his hair will not get touched, but you should be aware that if thats the case, your kid is probably the biggest pussy on the team and all the upperclassman probably thought he was a loser anyway. What's next for you softies? It's really sad when kids get cut, so should there no longer be a varsity team? Team sports can make unathletic people feel unathletic, so should we do away with team sports altogether? How about you listen to the kid who just posted saying that he was there for four years and never once met a freshman (himself included) that was against the ritual. Boys will be boys; you can either accept this dictum and stop bashing a hair cut ritual, or you can continue bitching and moaning about a silly harmless tradition. If you choose the latter I suggest you sending your kid(s) to GDS, Maret, St. Andrews...etc. Moreover, instead of wasting time on this blog, you over-protective parents of future 35-year-old virgins should probably do something useful, like, say, monitoring your child's phone record and internet history--wouldn't want him to do anything cool with his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop. The misandristic posts against anything high school boys do has got to stop. Your son's father once did the same or similar things without his mother hovering over him. If you hate men (including our son's father) then get help.

Using the word "misandristic" doesn't make you sound like any less obnoxious -- just like an obnoxious person who can use an online thesaurus (also known as "google"). (Nice try on using the "please get help" line to couch your nastiness, too, lol.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the worst thing that happens during your time in high school is that your head gets shaved, then you probably had a great time. Its a hair cut people; these kids aren't being forced to do anything that could actually harm them in any way. Lacrosse is a tough sport, so it is probably fair to say that any kid good enough to make the team as a freshman will not be permanently scarred from an ugly hair cut they had to wear for a day. If your kid really had a huge issue with it then his hair will not get touched, but you should be aware that if thats the case, your kid is probably the biggest pussy on the team and all the upperclassman probably thought he was a loser anyway. What's next for you softies? It's really sad when kids get cut, so should there no longer be a varsity team? Team sports can make unathletic people feel unathletic, so should we do away with team sports altogether? How about you listen to the kid who just posted saying that he was there for four years and never once met a freshman (himself included) that was against the ritual. Boys will be boys; you can either accept this dictum and stop bashing a hair cut ritual, or you can continue bitching and moaning about a silly harmless tradition. If you choose the latter I suggest you sending your kid(s) to GDS, Maret, St. Andrews...etc. Moreover, instead of wasting time on this blog, you over-protective parents of future 35-year-old virgins should probably do something useful, like, say, monitoring your child's phone record and internet history--wouldn't want him to do anything cool with his life.

Well, for a while I was inclined to pay attention to things like national hazing websites. But now, your caring post that wants to help save people from raising "35-year-old virgins" has changed my mind.

Oh, wait, no, you have just further succeeded in convincing people that lacrosse boys (and maybe SSSAS) boys are nasty-minded, prejudiced little jerks.

Good job!

[Anonymous]

How many lives have been ruined by a haircut? That's what I thought. This argument is pointless. It's the boy's hair not yours. When reflecting back on the season, I can guarantee a haircut that lasted a day in february is not going to be the defining moment for any of these freshman. Let your kids breathe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the worst thing that happens during your time in high school is that your head gets shaved, then you probably had a great time. Its a hair cut people; these kids aren't being forced to do anything that could actually harm them in any way. Lacrosse is a tough sport, so it is probably fair to say that any kid good enough to make the team as a freshman will not be permanently scarred from an ugly hair cut they had to wear for a day. If your kid really had a huge issue with it then his hair will not get touched, but you should be aware that if thats the case, your kid is probably the biggest pussy on the team and all the upperclassman probably thought he was a loser anyway. What's next for you softies? It's really sad when kids get cut, so should there no longer be a varsity team? Team sports can make unathletic people feel unathletic, so should we do away with team sports altogether? How about you listen to the kid who just posted saying that he was there for four years and never once met a freshman (himself included) that was against the ritual. Boys will be boys; you can either accept this dictum and stop bashing a hair cut ritual, or you can continue bitching and moaning about a silly harmless tradition. If you choose the latter I suggest you sending your kid(s) to GDS, Maret, St. Andrews...etc. Moreover, instead of wasting time on this blog, you over-protective parents of future 35-year-old virgins should probably do something useful, like, say, monitoring your child's phone record and internet history--wouldn't want him to do anything cool with his life.

Great point here. Parents are overbearing more than ever now and generally try to micromanage their kids' lives. Here's a question when in your son's life will he ever get a chance to wear a ridiculous looking haircut? High school is a time for these kind of shenanigans. The fact that this blog exists just shows how crazy parents have become. Let your kids live and figure out mistakes for themselves they are never going to be able to have a goofy haircut later in life might as well enjoy it while you can. The haircuts are funny and spirited they are not as bad as some hazing (Hopkins got some heat for placing putters up the freshmens' anuses this year).

[Anonymous]

Oh. My. God. Did you just try to make light of boys putting things up other boys' anuses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the worst thing that happens during your time in high school is that your head gets shaved, then you probably had a great time. Its a hair cut people; these kids aren't being forced to do anything that could actually harm them in any way. Lacrosse is a tough sport, so it is probably fair to say that any kid good enough to make the team as a freshman will not be permanently scarred from an ugly hair cut they had to wear for a day. If your kid really had a huge issue with it then his hair will not get touched, but you should be aware that if thats the case, your kid is probably the biggest pussy on the team and all the upperclassman probably thought he was a loser anyway. What's next for you softies? It's really sad when kids get cut, so should there no longer be a varsity team? Team sports can make unathletic people feel unathletic, so should we do away with team sports altogether? How about you listen to the kid who just posted saying that he was there for four years and never once met a freshman (himself included) that was against the ritual. Boys will be boys; you can either accept this dictum and stop bashing a hair cut ritual, or you can continue bitching and moaning about a silly harmless tradition. If you choose the latter I suggest you sending your kid(s) to GDS, Maret, St. Andrews...etc. Moreover, instead of wasting time on this blog, you over-protective parents of future 35-year-old virgins should probably do something useful, like, say, monitoring your child's phone record and internet history--wouldn't want him to do anything cool with his life.

Well, for a while I was inclined to pay attention to things like national hazing websites. But now, your caring post that wants to help save people from raising "35-year-old virgins" has changed my mind.

Oh, wait, no, you have just further succeeded in convincing people that lacrosse boys (and maybe SSSAS) boys are nasty-minded, prejudiced little jerks.

Good job!

Thanks for the compliment, I wrote on this blog to show the world what lacrosse boys do--what nasty minds we have! I'm not condoning hazing, but the fact of the matter is that a funny haircut is not hazing. To me, and to most normal people who didn't eat their lunch in the bathroom in high school, hazing is not something as trivial as a dumb haircut. You blow and your kid probably isn't cool either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the worst thing that happens during your time in high school is that your head gets shaved, then you probably had a great time. Its a hair cut people; these kids aren't being forced to do anything that could actually harm them in any way. Lacrosse is a tough sport, so it is probably fair to say that any kid good enough to make the team as a freshman will not be permanently scarred from an ugly hair cut they had to wear for a day. If your kid really had a huge issue with it then his hair will not get touched, but you should be aware that if thats the case, your kid is probably the biggest pussy on the team and all the upperclassman probably thought he was a loser anyway. What's next for you softies? It's really sad when kids get cut, so should there no longer be a varsity team? Team sports can make unathletic people feel unathletic, so should we do away with team sports altogether? How about you listen to the kid who just posted saying that he was there for four years and never once met a freshman (himself included) that was against the ritual. Boys will be boys; you can either accept this dictum and stop bashing a hair cut ritual, or you can continue bitching and moaning about a silly harmless tradition. If you choose the latter I suggest you sending your kid(s) to GDS, Maret, St. Andrews...etc. Moreover, instead of wasting time on this blog, you over-protective parents of future 35-year-old virgins should probably do something useful, like, say, monitoring your child's phone record and internet history--wouldn't want him to do anything cool with his life.

Well, for a while I was inclined to pay attention to things like national hazing websites. But now, your caring post that wants to help save people from raising "35-year-old virgins" has changed my mind.

Oh, wait, no, you have just further succeeded in convincing people that lacrosse boys (and maybe SSSAS) boys are nasty-minded, prejudiced little jerks.

Good job!

Thanks for the compliment, I wrote on this blog to show the world what lacrosse boys do--what nasty minds we have! I'm not condoning hazing, but the fact of the matter is that a funny haircut is not hazing. To me, and to most normal people who didn't eat their lunch in the bathroom in high school, hazing is not something as trivial as a dumb haircut. You blow and your kid probably isn't cool either.

I'll ignore the silly cheap shots and give this a try. Look, hazing sounds fun -- until it isn't. The line between hazing and bullying is a thin one. There's a lot of research on it. Adults need to protect adolescents from it, because adolescents and young men generally don't have the judgment to draw the lines or stay on the right side of them.

I don't really blame older kids for giving funny haircuts and I definitely don't blame younger kids for wanting them. I played college sports and we had initiation rituals -- the kind that could have ended up (but thank god they didn't) in someone choking on their own vomit and dying. If the funny haircuts are cool with the community, the mystery gets lost, and generally (not always, of course) there is some escalation -- whether next year, or a couple years from now -- to something that proves your toughness even more than the haircut. Or maybe the guys giving the haircuts in high school are doing something else in college -- something that could see them getting thrown off a team (Google Franklin & Marshall women's lacrosse and hazing), arrested, or, even worse, spending a lifetime of regret over someone getting hurt.

I don't think we'll agree over this, but I do want you to try to understand where at least one adult (and one who played DI lacrosse) is coming from, in arguing that schools and coaches should try to stamp out this kind of ritual, whether or not it gets the "h" label on it or not.

[Anonymous]

Did you speak up when your D1 school allowed the funny rituals? Are you overcompensating now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you speak up when your D1 school allowed the funny rituals? Are you overcompensating now?

I'll give you a serious answer. As an 18-year old freshmen I participated eagerly -- I thought it was cool to be "initiated." As a senior, I used my influence as a captain to eliminate the scary drinking element, so I feel okay about my "past," actually. My larger point, though, is that the willingness of high school and college kids to participate (most or many eagerly) is part of the reasons adults do need to take these things seriously and step in. There were a lot of things I did in college that, praise the lord, didn't result in the terrible consequences they could have, and I wouldn't do now with the benefit of 25 years of hindsight. But I also know people who did things in college (usually involving drinking) -- that did result in terrible consequences, to themselves or others (date rape; car accident; broken neck from diving while drunk into shallow water).

In my view, I'm not overcompensating, and I'm not being alarmist or trying to single out any one school in responding to some posts on a relatively old thread. But hazing (or the milder initiation rituals) is not a silly subject and to argue that schools and coaches should use their very great influence to help kids make good decisions on this subject seems to me a pretty reasonable place to come down.

[Anonymous]

Now that DCUM has morphed into a forum for women to tell men, especially young men, how they should live their lives, where is the forum for me to chime in on how women should live their lives? I expect that women would give any such advice the same weight men give all the advice and opinions offered on this forum. All this nonsense comes off as ignorant man hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop. The misandristic posts against anything high school boys do has got to stop. Your son's father once did the same or similar things without his mother hovering over him. If you hate men (including our son's father) then get help.

Anyone with the time to make all these man hating posts must be lonely as well as angry. I can only imagine what might have created such a sad person. But she doesn't have to take everyone down with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now that DCUM has morphed into a forum for women to tell men, especially young men, how they should live their lives, where is the forum for me to chime in on how women should live their lives? I expect that women would give any such advice the same weight men give all the advice and opinions offered on this forum. All this nonsense comes off as ignorant man hate.

Not biting. People tried to have a good debate, you're not interested. See ya.