Can DH request a circumcision while I'm recovering from childbirth?

[Anonymous]

If you and your dh can't agree on a medicial issue to the point that you are worried that he will authorize the procedure behind your back, then yes, marriage counseling is necessary regardless of how happy the rest of your marriage is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, when you see your husband naked are you sickened by the fact that he is "mutilated"

I feel extremely bad for him for having a surgery done without his consent. But I don't care about what his penis looks like. He was my first and there's nothing wrong with the way he performs.

Not sure if he would say yes if the option was given to him later on.

Anyway, I tried to have him sit through a surgery to watch it on youtube and so far he keeps giving me excuses. I think he won't be able to watch it without gagging or closing his eyes.

I have no idea what you are watching on youtube. Personally I don't see the need for circumcision but have watched many of them as a health professional. Most of the babies don't even cry - they are not in pain. There is anesthetic used. There is nothing to gag at, there is very little blood and it takes very little time. It is a very very minor procedure.

Whenever I read anti-circ comments that reference it being very painful, gory, bloody or horrific procedure, I realize that these people are very uninformed and often making this decision based on sensationalism (like being anti-vaccine because it causes autism). There are valid reasons to not be circumcised and those should be used in discussions and decision making.

Believing your husband is mutilated and telling him you see his penis as a mutilated body part is such a disrespectful way to think of a spouse. Especially when he disagrees - I would be pretty upset if my husband saw a part of my body that I actually liked as mutilated.

You are going about his conversation all wrong. Stop reading crazy anti-circ / mutilation websites and get a better sense of actual facts. Have a rational discussion based on fact and go from there.

[Anonymous]

I think it's interesting that the default here is that OP is in the "right" and she can tell docs no circ just like that. Why doesn't the dad have equal say? Everyone is acting like if she says no then it's gospel. What makes her the final say? Can't DH just counter what is written in the charts? I mean, that would be pretty f'ed up, but so is her unilateral decision about the circ. One parent does not have total veto power on issues like this. You need to find a way to agree on the decision, whatever it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, they will draw blood from your newborn's heel and that will be far more painful for the baby than a circumcision would be. The heel draw sent my DH from the room; the bris barely made anyone blink.

I agree that this is very strange. The way OP describes treating her DH is unbelievable. And there's a strong tone of immaturity. (It has to be MY WAY!!!!! I will NOT listen to counter-arguments!!! He must watch a video to be deprogrammed!!!) I worry for the marriage and for the kid.

My husband went with all 3 of our boys for their circs. He said they barely cried at all.

I sat through the PKU tests where they drew blood from their heels. That test was terribly painful to them and they just cried and cried. Far more than the wimpers they gave for the circs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, they will draw blood from your newborn's heel and that will be far more painful for the baby than a circumcision would be. The heel draw sent my DH from the room; the bris barely made anyone blink.

I agree that this is very strange. The way OP describes treating her DH is unbelievable. And there's a strong tone of immaturity. (It has to be MY WAY!!!!! I will NOT listen to counter-arguments!!! He must watch a video to be deprogrammed!!!) I worry for the marriage and for the kid.

I love people like you who think they have the ability to judge the health of a marriage based on one post. Where did you get your degree from? Oh wait... you don't have a degree?

Anyway, a heel prick hurts more than scraping to separate the skin of the penis' head from the glans, shoveling a piece of metal under there and cutting of a around an inch of skin from a child's penis? The Nile is not just the name of a river...

Ummm, yes. The heel prick hurts far more than a circ does.

[Anonymous]

It really isn't an issue of whether you think a circumcision is necessary/beneficial. It is an issue of one parent respecting the other. DH and I have gotten differing opinions from two different doctors on whether another set of ear tubes is really necessary for DS. If DH went and got the ear tube surgery for DS, knowing that I was not on board with it, and behind my back, I would completely freak out.


And maybe he's freaking out that you won't go forward with this procedure (I assume you and he are split, yes?).

No, we are not split and he is not freaking out, he just agrees with doc 1 and I agree with doc 2. That doesn't matter, though - the point is that he would never just sneak DS off to do the procedure knowing that I am opposed to it - we will discuss and come to a joint agreement, whether that is getting it done or not getting it done.

[Anonymous]

I sat through the PKU tests where they drew blood from their heels. That test was terribly painful to them and they just cried and cried. Far more than the wimpers they gave for the circs.

Whether or not you agree that circumcision is appropriate and medically necessary, it simply isn't reasonable to assert that a heel prick is more painful than a circumcision. There is a reason that many doctors offer numbing cream for a circumcision and don't offer it for a heel prick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, they will draw blood from your newborn's heel and that will be far more painful for the baby than a circumcision would be. The heel draw sent my DH from the room; the bris barely made anyone blink.

I agree that this is very strange. The way OP describes treating her DH is unbelievable. And there's a strong tone of immaturity. (It has to be MY WAY!!!!! I will NOT listen to counter-arguments!!! He must watch a video to be deprogrammed!!!) I worry for the marriage and for the kid.

I love people like you who think they have the ability to judge the health of a marriage based on one post. Where did you get your degree from? Oh wait... you don't have a degree?

Anyway, a heel prick hurts more than scraping to separate the skin of the penis' head from the glans, shoveling a piece of metal under there and cutting of a around an inch of skin from a child's penis? The Nile is not just the name of a river...

It wasn't one post, it was a whole series of posts -- all of your posts in this thread.

Yes, a heel prick hurts more. I've observed both. The heel prick goes on and on because they have to squeeze the blood out of the heel and the baby wales and wales. The bris we had for our DS took a minute and it was over before the baby even knew it was happening. I agree with PP that you are being taken in by the propaganda you've been reading. Here you have heard from several posters who have actually witnessed a circumcision. But if you are so close-minded as to use words like "mutilation" with your husband, and to try to force him to watch videos, than I can udnerstand why you insist on your position in spite of any evidence to the contrary.

[Anonymous]

Wails and wails. I meant.

[Anonymous]

Funny thing, I'm in the medical field also and while you're right stating there's little blood I can't agree about the pain statement. Nobody is able to judge pain perception on others. Did you skip this class?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So OP, when you see your husband naked are you sickened by the fact that he is "mutilated"

I feel extremely bad for him for having a surgery done without his consent. But I don't care about what his penis looks like. He was my first and there's nothing wrong with the way he performs.

Not sure if he would say yes if the option was given to him later on.

Anyway, I tried to have him sit through a surgery to watch it on youtube and so far he keeps giving me excuses. I think he won't be able to watch it without gagging or closing his eyes.

I have no idea what you are watching on youtube. Personally I don't see the need for circumcision but have watched many of them as a health professional. Most of the babies don't even cry - they are not in pain. There is anesthetic used. There is nothing to gag at, there is very little blood and it takes very little time. It is a very very minor procedure.

Whenever I read anti-circ comments that reference it being very painful, gory, bloody or horrific procedure, I realize that these people are very uninformed and often making this decision based on sensationalism (like being anti-vaccine because it causes autism). There are valid reasons to not be circumcised and those should be used in discussions and decision making.

Believing your husband is mutilated and telling him you see his penis as a mutilated body part is such a disrespectful way to think of a spouse. Especially when he disagrees - I would be pretty upset if my husband saw a part of my body that I actually liked as mutilated.

You are going about his conversation all wrong. Stop reading crazy anti-circ / mutilation websites and get a better sense of actual facts. Have a rational discussion based on fact and go from there.

[Anonymous]

This is just so stupid. You actually believe you can judge my marriage based on this????? This is so freaking ridiculous. We're both (DH and I) LOL here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, they will draw blood from your newborn's heel and that will be far more painful for the baby than a circumcision would be. The heel draw sent my DH from the room; the bris barely made anyone blink.

I agree that this is very strange. The way OP describes treating her DH is unbelievable. And there's a strong tone of immaturity. (It has to be MY WAY!!!!! I will NOT listen to counter-arguments!!! He must watch a video to be deprogrammed!!!) I worry for the marriage and for the kid.

I love people like you who think they have the ability to judge the health of a marriage based on one post. Where did you get your degree from? Oh wait... you don't have a degree?

Anyway, a heel prick hurts more than scraping to separate the skin of the penis' head from the glans, shoveling a piece of metal under there and cutting of a around an inch of skin from a child's penis? The Nile is not just the name of a river...

It wasn't one post, it was a whole series of posts -- all of your posts in this thread.

Yes, a heel prick hurts more. I've observed both. The heel prick goes on and on because they have to squeeze the blood out of the heel and the baby wales and wales. The bris we had for our DS took a minute and it was over before the baby even knew it was happening. I agree with PP that you are being taken in by the propaganda you've been reading. Here you have heard from several posters who have actually witnessed a circumcision. But if you are so close-minded as to use words like "mutilation" with your husband, and to try to force him to watch videos, than I can udnerstand why you insist on your position in spite of any evidence to the contrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wails and wails. I meant.

[Anonymous]

NP here. If you actually think your DH would even consider going behind your back on this, then no your marriage is not anywhere near healthy. The tone you have taken with him about this may well have something to do with it, or it may just be the way your communication has evolved after years of dysfunction. I don't know you so I can't tell. But what you have said makes me gravely concerned for your marriage. Deny it if it makes you feel better, but maybe these comments will cause you to think twice and get some counseling. Your future baby will thank you -- circumcised or not!

[Anonymous]

Op must be petty vocal about the mutilated penis that impregnated her.

[Anonymous]

Mutilated vs. stinky pocket full of staphylococcus smegma