Can DH request a circumcision while I'm recovering from childbirth?

[Anonymous]

If you feel that your husband would go behind your back and authorize a medical procedure that you don't want for your baby, you guys have a long road ahead of you in terms of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Work this out with a professional counselor.

[Anonymous]

I feel for the husband , op probably talks about mutilation all day long

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: In the case of the pp who had the MD arrive to do the circumcision, neither parent had previously stated their wishes.

01:24 here. Actually, we HAD said no circ, repeatedly. That's what made it so weird. Not sure if there was a miscommunication or if the doc had the wrong room or what, but he seemed to think we were all ready to go on it.

I worked in a hospital, too, for many years, and saw that even with the best intentions, people can make mistakes. In this case, where one parent might actively request something while mom is sleeping, it's good advice to document thoroughly and tell every nurse and doctor if you can without annoying your husband. Also maybe have them out it right across the front of your chart like they do with allergies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or any time without my consent?

We're discussing the subject and hopefully our child will be a girl. He's a nice guy but when it comes to his boy parts he gets emotional, and just for looks I'm not willing to get my son mutilated.

Thanks for your advice.

Step aside, lady. This is the dad's decision. You can express your opinion, but he's the decider in this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't know, but "we" as a couple were asked when we were in labor. The procedure wouldn't be done when you were in active labor...you'll know when they take the baby away from you. If you don't want it done, make it clear to the dr. That being said, if you are nervous that your husband would go beyond your back, then I really think you need to discuss this, perhaps with a doctor.

You don't say? I have images of a doctor up in her hoohoo trying to get that scalpel lined up JUST RIGHT to that little baby wee wee inside.

[Anonymous]

I am circumcised and I resent being told by OP that I am mutilated. Of all the insensitive things.

Do I remark on the appearance of your labia, woman? No. So why don't you stop having opinions about what a penis is supposed to look like. Or at least stop expressing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean while you're recovering? They don't use ether anymore, dear. You'll be awake the whole time.

I gás a c sec and took me 2 whole hours to come back to the room and see the baby. This was 2 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am circumcised and I resent being told by OP that I am mutilated. Of all the insensitive things.

Do I remark on the appearance of your labia, woman? No. So why don't you stop having opinions about what a penis is supposed to look like. Or at least stop expressing them.

Well, I was not talking about you. I'm talking about my son.

But then, if you take every thing so personally I believe you have bigger issues and indeed circumcision has affected your self stern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am circumcised and I resent being told by OP that I am mutilated. Of all the insensitive things.

Do I remark on the appearance of your labia, woman? No. So why don't you stop having opinions about what a penis is supposed to look like. Or at least stop expressing them.

Since when this is about appearance. "Mutilated" means putting a days old baby through an unnecessary surgical procedure without enough anesthesia, alterating their body forever witnout their consent for no real benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am circumcised and I resent being told by OP that I am mutilated. Of all the insensitive things.

Do I remark on the appearance of your labia, woman? No. So why don't you stop having opinions about what a penis is supposed to look like. Or at least stop expressing them.

Since when this is about appearance. "Mutilated" means putting a days old baby through an unnecessary surgical procedure without enough anesthesia, alterating their body forever witnout their consent for no real benefit.

To quote your original post, OP: "We're discussing the subject and hopefully our child will be a girl. He's a nice guy but when it comes to his boy parts he gets emotional, and just for looks I'm not willing to get my son mutilated."

You brought up "appearance."

Also, circumcision is beneficial, so your characterization that it is "unnecessary" isn't, you know, accurate.

Again, unless you are a man, you don't get to participate in this discussion any longer or express an opinion about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am circumcised and I resent being told by OP that I am mutilated. Of all the insensitive things.

Do I remark on the appearance of your labia, woman? No. So why don't you stop having opinions about what a penis is supposed to look like. Or at least stop expressing them.

Since when this is about appearance. "Mutilated" means putting a days old baby through an unnecessary surgical procedure without enough anesthesia, alterating their body forever witnout their consent for no real benefit.

To quote your original post, OP: "We're discussing the subject and hopefully our child will be a girl. He's a nice guy but when it comes to his boy parts he gets emotional, and just for looks I'm not willing to get my son mutilated."

You brought up "appearance."

Also, circumcision is beneficial, so your characterization that it is "unnecessary" isn't, you know, accurate.

Again, unless you are a man, you don't get to participate in this discussion any longer or express an opinion about it.

Well, appearance is the only reason my DH brought up this far. And while we're talking about my son I'll keep saying no. You can do whatever to your son but if one day he comes to ask you where is the skin you won't be able to glue it back but if he's intact and asks for the procedure later that will be much easier on you.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't see why OP needs to attack someone who disagrees and I don't think its necessary to use the word mutilation. Our DS was circumcised for religious reasons and I certainly don't think he was mutilated. There are arguments on both sides. It DOES prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV. On the other hand, some people think it affects sensation (though, uh , none of the circumcised men I've been with seemed deprived in that area.) Having witnessed my son's bris it was clear to me that he wasn't being tortured. It took literally seconds and the moyel gave him a tiny bit of wine. I think they also sometimes use topical anesthetics.

There's no right answer here but OP if you keep with the highly charged language I don;t see how you are going to resolve this with your husband. Seriously, if I were him I would think you were so jacked up about this issue that we wouldn't even be able to discuss it. The hit to your marriage seems more significant than anything the baby will go through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It DOES prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV.

It does not prevent STD transmission. Studies have indicated that it lessens the chance, but its not a cure all.

[Anonymous]

It really isn't an issue of whether you think a circumcision is necessary/beneficial. It is an issue of one parent respecting the other. DH and I have gotten differing opinions from two different doctors on whether another set of ear tubes is really necessary for DS. If DH went and got the ear tube surgery for DS, knowing that I was not on board with it, and behind my back, I would completely freak out.