What do people mean when they say 2 kids is really hard?

[Anonymous]

Thanks...I'm definitely one and done!

[Anonymous]

well, I'm up working at 1:43 am. I cannot balance caring for 2 kids,commuting,cleaning, cooking,working full time, etc.I am on the verge of utter exhaustion. Toddler is jealous of baby and frequently engages in (negative) attention getting behavior.Baby is just about walking, and getting into everything.Toddler not quite potty trained.if they both nap not at the same time. Neither child can be left alone--though toddler can and does watch video--but caring for both is full time, so there is NO time to do all the other crap unless other parent has both. So weeks are hell and weekends is either childcare or cooking, cleaning, errands, etc. I have about 1 hour a week to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 is hard if you have 1 as miserable as people have described on this thread. Sounds like people are raising monsters, not children. We have 3 under 4 and yes, it's tiring and time consuming, but no one's running away, they eat the same meal or don't eat that night, they understand we're a family and we love one another so it's a lot of playing together and helping one another. It's all perspective folks. Expect them to control your lives and they will. Keep control of your lives and kids are a wonderful compliment to it.

This. Another person with 3 under 4 here. I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Anonymous]

Pp honey you're in the 1% no wonder you have3! No fucking way would we do 3 - 2 is killing us and YES in case you did not read this thread there are people who do have a hard time with 2- maybe you can be less smug and judgmental?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2 is hard if you have 1 as miserable as people have described on this thread. Sounds like people are raising monsters, not children. We have 3 under 4 and yes, it's tiring and time consuming, but no one's running away, they eat the same meal or don't eat that night, they understand we're a family and we love one another so it's a lot of playing together and helping one another. It's all perspective folks. Expect them to control your lives and they will. Keep control of your lives and kids are a wonderful compliment to it.

This. Another person with 3 under 4 here. I couldn't have said it better myself.

No one is saying their kids are monsters or that they wished they didn't have them. They're just honestly answering why they find 2 kids hard. If you don't, then count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who keeps saying it's so hard?

I'm a SAHM with 2 under 3. It's HARD. I love it and I'm a SAHM by choice, but it's chaos.

I've got two in diapers, both still need help getting in and out of carseats, the oldest isn't old enough to trust walking independently in parking lots and such so I either use a double stroller or a single and push one handed while holding my oldest's hand. Running errands are so unbelievably stressful and time consuming because of this. I'm always on guard for a meltdown, needing to give a bottle, a poopy diaper, etc. at any given time. I'm a slave to naps. I have to entertain my oldest while the baby has his morning nap and by the time he's woken and I've gotten everyone fed, changed, coats on, in car seats, diaper bag packed, change the baby after he spits up all over his third outfit, oldest poops as we're walking out, I have time to run one errand before it's lunchtime (which I've thankfully mastered on the go) and racing back for naptime.

The only moment I have to myself is if their naps overlap and then I try and get dinner or household stuff taken care of.

I think having two kid spaced further apart would have made a big difference. I also think if I WOH, it would be very different. Weekends and evenings would still be hard, but the days are really what challenge me.

Do you have any energy for sex? (serious question here) I'm in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

WOTH mom here with a DS (3) and a DD(1). DD was not planned and I was terrified about how on earth we'd handle two. It's fine. It just means both parents are engaged all the time whereas before I took on most of the work. Two is not hard if you have a partner who is able to do half the work. I think going from 0 to 1 was MUCH harder than 1 to 2.

[Anonymous]

I have two, two and a half years apart, now 8 and 10. It's harder in some ways and easier in others. Lots of people have articulated why it's harder. Here's why it's also easier: THEY PLAY TOGETHER! constantly. It's great. They are basically self-entertaining about 85 percent of the time. I can't imagine taking one kid in vacation... Hanging out all weekends with one bored kid... Etc. they are good friends to each other, despite occasional squabbling, and it not only takes a burden off me in the short term, it makes me happy to think they will always be there for each other.

[Anonymous]

Heh.
As a mom of twins, I find this thread amusing. I WOH. I work in an office with other mothers. This past year, two women in my department had their #2. They came back from maternity leave and were like, HOW did you DO it?!
They're doing great, mind you, but it's interesting to me what a shock it is for people going from 1 to 2.

[Anonymous]

My friends with two seem to have the same issue as PPs of no break. If the older one is napping, the younger one is awake. When the older one wakes up, then the younger one falls asleep, so they end up being house bound for big portions of the day. They can't keep the older one cooped up, so they go out, but then have to chase a toddler around the playground while wearing the baby/pushing the stroller. Toddler might be old enough to stay out a bit later or miss naps, but baby can't, so they are pretty much locked onto a baby schedule with an antsy toddler who just wants to be freeeeee. In the summer, they couldn't go to the pool in the hot parts of the day because of the baby getting burnt/overheating. The baby might suddenly lose it when toddler is having fun at a playdate, necessitating a fast exit, wherein the toddler starts to meltdown cause they want to play. It's putting one in the car while putting the other down, getting two out of the car, into the store, hoping the toddler walks next to the buggy since the baby has to ride. Honestly, my friends with 2 exhaust me just by watching them. It seems like every l i t t l e thing is compounded by ten, not just by one.

This is my life exactly. But I remember the freedom that came with DS1 when he hit the year/1.5 mark, and I'm just putting one foot in front of the other until DS2 reaches a similar point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My friends with two seem to have the same issue as PPs of no break. If the older one is napping, the younger one is awake. When the older one wakes up, then the younger one falls asleep, so they end up being house bound for big portions of the day. They can't keep the older one cooped up, so they go out, but then have to chase a toddler around the playground while wearing the baby/pushing the stroller. Toddler might be old enough to stay out a bit later or miss naps, but baby can't, so they are pretty much locked onto a baby schedule with an antsy toddler who just wants to be freeeeee. In the summer, they couldn't go to the pool in the hot parts of the day because of the baby getting burnt/overheating. The baby might suddenly lose it when toddler is having fun at a playdate, necessitating a fast exit, wherein the toddler starts to meltdown cause they want to play. It's putting one in the car while putting the other down, getting two out of the car, into the store, hoping the toddler walks next to the buggy since the baby has to ride. Honestly, my friends with 2 exhaust me just by watching them. It seems like every l i t t l e thing is compounded by ten, not just by one.

This is my life exactly. But I remember the freedom that came with DS1 when he hit the year/1.5 mark, and I'm just putting one foot in front of the other until DS2 reaches a similar point.

That was my life when my two were under 4. they are 15 months apart so they were often on slightly different schedule (2 naps versus 1 nap so felt hostage to the house many days). FWIW, we both WOH. Now they are 7 and 8 and we have two different interests to meet - sports activities, dance classes, homework, sleep overs, etc. and the fighting... they will disagree with each other simply to disagree, if one is in a bad mood, that person can and will bait the other so hat next thing you know there is a fight. Don't get me wrong, there are lovely times as well when they play nicely with each other, but they are different genders and have very different interestes - the boy loves any type of video game (xbox, wii,computer) while the girl loves imaginary play and dolls. the only types of games they enjoy together are some board games, cards, and riding bicycles or scooters outside. It is much more difficult than I thought it would be and I think it is because I had them so close together. The younger one does not respect the older one as the age difference isn't great enought. I understand that as, growing up, I did not respect my (13 mo) older brother, but I did respect my (3 yr) older sister.

[Anonymous]

Another mom of twins here. I am sahm but i also work 10 hours a week from home. I often wonder why it's like having just one! I can imagine the hardest part of going from 1 to 2 would be the having a break issue since the ratio of adults to kids changes. But it's doable. Mine are 2 and we stick to the schedule (key key key to our daily survival), we are respectful of each other (well we are working on that, I'm a part time referee during the day), and we work together to maintain our functional happy family. There are days that are a little crazy but I think that rings true whether you have 1, 2, or 10 kids. It's about adapting and OP, you'll adapt and transition to this new chapter of your life and it'll be great! Lots of people can give their two cents (including me) but at the end of the day you'll create tradition/systems during the day that'll work for your family. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another mom of twins here. I am sahm but i also work 10 hours a week from home. I often wonder why it's like having just one! I can imagine the hardest part of going from 1 to 2 would be the having a break issue since the ratio of adults to kids changes. But it's doable. Mine are 2 and we stick to the schedule (key key key to our daily survival), we are respectful of each other (well we are working on that, I'm a part time referee during the day), and we work together to maintain our functional happy family. There are days that are a little crazy but I think that rings true whether you have 1, 2, or 10 kids. It's about adapting and OP, you'll adapt and transition to this new chapter of your life and it'll be great! Lots of people can give their two cents (including me) but at the end of the day you'll create tradition/systems during the day that'll work for your family. Good luck!

I was the poster with the kids 15months apart. a good friend had twins and it was actually easier for her as she was able to keep both children on the same schedule and they were at the same developmental stage. She did not have to worry about a toddler bonking an infant in the head with a plastic toy. I am not negating your experience, just saying that the poster who has one and is pregnant with her second does not compare with twins, which is definately much more difficult than a singleton, but does not equate to two at two different ages and stages.

[Anonymous]

Oh and yes, I notice I spelled definitely wrong. and even underlined it. oh well.

[Anonymous]

I think the difficulty depends on the age difference. The closer they are in age I think the harder it is for the reasons that some of the PPs have mentioned. Given that you child is now 3.5 it means that if you have a second they will be at least 4.5 years apart. I think that this is a great gap. My kids are 5.5 years apart and the hardest part of my day is getting them out of the house in the morning and that is only bc the youngest is 2. In a year or so when she can help dress herself and follow directions better I am sure it will be ok.

Good Luck.