Teachers Bullied by Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh boo-hoo! Everyone who works in any profession faces this. Why should teachers be any different?! Just have to put your big girl/boy pants on and deal.

Oh. It's her. Don't think your daughter or son's teacher doesn't have you pegged. We always love your child and talk about how it's too bad he or she has a crazy parent.

To the 99% of parents who walk through my classroom door thank you for being a great parent and a great partner. We work together to make sure your student is successful. Youre the parent who sets a good example for your child. Your the parent we love to see on our chaperone list. You're the parent who smiles often and volunteers. You're the parent who teachers your child not to blame others for a mistake or failure but gives your child a hug or a stern word when needed and helps your child do better the next time. You're the parent who speaks well of other parents and who actually chaperones on a field trip not talk or text on your cell. Your reason for being on the trip is your child and teacher not to socialize. And you're the parent who we love.

Well we will all work harder to be sure we are the parents that the teachers all love. Perhaps you need to remember who pays you in the first place.

That's hilarious! You pay 35,000 tuition. That goes for books, property, supplies Nd special programs. You don't pay my salary.
At least I work for a living instead of sitting on my butt in a luxury suv my husband paid for.

[Anonymous]

Great illustration of what we deal with. On this forum in this thread 90 percent of you are supportive and lovely. The other ten are asses who say things like "remember who pays you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


That's hilarious! You pay 35,000 tuition. That goes for books, property, supplies Nd special programs. You don't pay my salary. At least I work for a living instead of sitting on my butt in a luxury suv my husband paid for.

Hmmmm. Stereotyping parents is not exactly cool.

[Anonymous]

And having the attitude that because someone pays a tuition they pay your salary and can treat you anyway they like is "cool".

Both are harming the school environment and are no good

[Anonymous]

Yes, agreed. But two wrongs - crappy attitudes both ways, between parents and teachers - do not make a right.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is a stereotype. Most parents are great and treat teachers well. Most parents work full time and understand the hours a teacher puts in before going home to a second job of caring for a family--just as they do. The uncool comment regarding the mom who sits on her butt all day is right on because it's the kind of parent who makes the stupid remark such as "don't forget who pays for your salary" that yes is the same kind of parent who doesn't work, doesn't understand the value of work, doesn't understand money and working for money.

[Anonymous]

I work at an area independent school and the parents I work with are wonderful. It varies from year to year, but for the most part parents are supportive and understand the partnership between school and home.

[Anonymous]

So the stereotype isn't of private school parents per se -- just of SAHM's?

[Anonymous]

Ooh... Careful. I'm a SAHM Wjo stopped working FT so I could be a better partner to my DC teacher when DC started seriously struggling in school...

[Anonymous]

That's right. It doesn't matter if you are a SAHM or not. What matters is that you are respectful of your child's teacher and understand that the teacher is the one with degrees and years of experience in child development and pedagogy. so if she or he suggests your child needs support don't flip out and demand a meeting with a division director and mouth off to your kid and every other parent in the parking lot that Ms or Mr So and So is terrible, hates your kid and doesn't recognize that your child is special and should be treated with kid gloves. We love your child. His or her successes are our success and his or her challenges ours as well. We want every child to be successful and to have strong self esteem. If you are told that your child needs help beyond the school, this is to BUILD your child's self esteem. Because what could be more damaging to a child than coming to school and feeling like a failure?

[Anonymous]

I had a parent tell me this year that I didn't care about her child and I almost reached across the table to slap her in the face. I spend hours away from my own family to go to weekend plays, recitals and soccer games. I spend lunch and recess giving children extra help or listening to their jokes and stories. I spend hours counseling and comforting when your child is in emotional pain. I worry about your child, I look out for your child, I guide your child, & love your child. I make next to nothing and I do it because I care about children and want to be a teacher more than anything else in the world. And you dare to tell me I don't care about your child because you don't agree with a grade? Please. How inconsiderate, self-centered and rude. She never even apologized for being so obnoxious. Not the whole year.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. Why don't we just confirm OP and say it goes both ways? Agree to treat each other kindly and move on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she.

Actually, I *am* that mom, to some extent. I have a smart child with some special needs that were not being served in the public school nestled in the expensive neighborhood we bought precisely to gain access to a great school. So I came to the private option with some expectations, and I have communicated them during the admission process. That background may or may not have been shared with the classroom teacher, but what you call "babying" is what me I, along with many ADHD specialists, call small classroom accommodations. I promise they are small. So small, in fact, that the public school refused to put them on the accommodations list because they are simply "good classroom management technique, non-specific to a disability". If I did send that long email, it is because you have refused to meet with me when things started to go wrong. Instead, you have berated my child for lack of discipline. Had you met me when I asked, we would have quickly caught a problem before it became a habit, and the conversations would have been much nicer. You, as a teacher, may well have an excellent knowledge about appropriate children development, but know little about this specific child. If I cannot work with the teacher to help provide adequate education for my child in a private setting school, I have no idea where to turn.

So please understand that if I'm a bit emotional, it is because I see my child falling through the cracks. It is because we're making huge efforts to afford the tuition that would allow for a closer home-school communication, and I see little of that. It is because I just lost my SACC spot for after-school in my old neighborhood school, so the new school *HAS* to work out, because it will be extremely hard to go back. At this point, you, the private school teacher, have an insane amount of power in your hand, and some of your decisions will impact my entire family's life tremendously. So please be patient with me as I explain that my child will need to know what to expect next week, so that she can come engaged and ready to learn. That she may learn in quirky ways, and rote repetition may simply not always be the best. That she needs the same reminders as a child a few years younger. Her maturity is simply not the same as her peers. While I admire you for trusting the children to raise to high expectations of self-regulation and independent work, this particular child cannot. Yet. She still needs the structure and reminders and nurture and positive re-enforcement that will, eventually, turn her into that responsible young adult we're both trying to create. But she's not there yet, and no amount of poor grades and public humiliation will change the present skill. Yet, she has her own ways to learn, and learn well. I am here, at your service, looking to make this a successful year. I come armed with strategies that work, and ready to take your input when something does not. But silence, when tests and homework come home covered in red, despite hard work at home -- that is not an option. I have to speak up. Please don't call me a bully for that. Just work with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she.

That's am exact description of the parent I dealt with all year. It's better to communicate with a level-headed father than an unchecked mother who has a lot of time on her hands, a lot of money to throw around, an unchecked emotional state and a refusal to admit or hear that her kid needs help. If we tell you your child needs help its not to hurt your kid it's to HELP your kid!

I used to teach ok the area and this is SO true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she.

That's am exact description of the parent I dealt with all year. It's better to communicate with a level-headed father than an unchecked mother who has a lot of time on her hands, a lot of money to throw around, an unchecked emotional state and a refusal to admit or hear that her kid needs help. If we tell you your child needs help its not to hurt your kid it's to HELP your kid!

I used to teach ok the area and this is SO true.

Oh, I've dealt with some nutty fathers over the years, believe me. One of the highlights was when a father who was a lawyer came in to a parent-teacher conference armed with my most recent test, and proceeded to go through it line by line to tell me how each question wasn't properly worded, was confusing, was ambiguous… yeah, that was a fun one.