Teachers Bullied by Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pp suggests that it is unwise to communicate with your children's teachers because they may come to despise the parents which could lead to retailliation against the child in the form of poor treatment or dishonest "EVALUATIONS".

Any adult who would retaliate against a child is malicious and potentially dangerous. They would also be sacrificing their honor and professionalism. Teachers may do it and they get away with it for a while, but eventually those behaviors will be identified by other people as well.

Once a person sacrifices their honor they become the exact same thing as they claim to despise the most.

not unwise to communicate - unwise to BE CRAZY to them and mistreat the teachers. if you are awful to a teacher it will most definitely influence how they treat your child, even if it is no on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sure but I would not want someone who despised me and to whom I was borderline cruel taking care of, spending hours with and EVALUATING my child.

I don't understand some of you. Teachers aren't going to "despise" you unless you are "borderline cruel" to them in the first place. But why would you be "borderline cruel" to someone in a position of authority over your child, isn't that dumb? Totally sounds like you're saying you want the right to be borderline cruel then fire them....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pp suggests that it is unwise to communicate with your children's teachers because they may come to despise the parents which could lead to retailliation against the child in the form of poor treatment or dishonest "EVALUATIONS".

Any adult who would retaliate against a child is malicious and potentially dangerous. They would also be sacrificing their honor and professionalism. Teachers may do it and they get away with it for a while, but eventually those behaviors will be identified by other people as well.

Once a person sacrifices their honor they become the exact same thing as they claim to despise the most.

Exhibit A. This poster (1) misread OP's post, or misunderstood it, and (2) responded with anger out of proportion to the situation. "Potentially dangerous," "Sacrificing their honor." This is exactly how it happens -- the parent over reacts to what the teacher says.

[Anonymous]

The occasional parent who is a jerk comes with the territory. It doesn't define the relationship with the student. Have heard many conversations along the lines of "great kid--amazing given his/her crazy mom/dad.". Yes, teachers talk about annoying parents (just as parents compare notes on teachers). These independent schools are like small towns (in the good and bad sense).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How terrible. I know a teacher at DD's swanky private school who was basically abused by big contributors at the school. Donating a ton of money doesnt earn the right to yell at your kid's teacher.

Been there. Yes, I'm talking to YOU black range rover!

Ha! And you too Mercedes SUV and Honda Pilot!

Doesn't this describe at least half of the private school parent population? I could be lumped in this group but I'm not a big contributor and I would never, ever be nasty to my child's teachers. Private school teachers work hard and earn little. They are there because they want to be, not because they have to be. Even if I disagreed with a teacher, I would like to think I would handle it diplomatically.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh boo-hoo! Everyone who works in any profession faces this. Why should teachers be any different?! Just have to put your big girl/boy pants on and deal.

Well, aren't you charming! We DO "deal". That doesn't mean it's easy to just shrug off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she.

That's am exact description of the parent I dealt with all year. It's better to communicate with a level-headed father than an unchecked mother who has a lot of time on her hands, a lot of money to throw around, an unchecked emotional state and a refusal to admit or hear that her kid needs help. If we tell you your child needs help its not to hurt your kid it's to HELP your kid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh boo-hoo! Everyone who works in any profession faces this. Why should teachers be any different?! Just have to put your big girl/boy pants on and deal.

Oh. It's her. Don't think your daughter or son's teacher doesn't have you pegged. We always love your child and talk about how it's too bad he or she has a crazy parent.

To the 99% of parents who walk through my classroom door thank you for being a great parent and a great partner. We work together to make sure your student is successful. Youre the parent who sets a good example for your child. Your the parent we love to see on our chaperone list. You're the parent who smiles often and volunteers. You're the parent who teachers your child not to blame others for a mistake or failure but gives your child a hug or a stern word when needed and helps your child do better the next time. You're the parent who speaks well of other parents and who actually chaperones on a field trip not talk or text on your cell. Your reason for being on the trip is your child and teacher not to socialize. And you're the parent who we love.

[Anonymous]

To the teachers here: some of us have a better or worse ability to volunteer. For example, I work on Capitol Hill and my kid goes to a private school 45 minutes away, which means that I have to step away from the crisis-of-the-day, which I can never predict when I sign up for something a month in advance, and then I also have to be gone from work for 3 hours minimum. So compared to a SAHM I can't do much, even though I'd really love to be more involved. Do you hold it against us?

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for all the teachers in this area. Some of the parents around here are horrible. I want to punch them. If I had mega money, I think I would take all the teachers out for drinks! Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the teachers here: some of us have a better or worse ability to volunteer. For example, I work on Capitol Hill and my kid goes to a private school 45 minutes away, which means that I have to step away from the crisis-of-the-day, which I can never predict when I sign up for something a month in advance, and then I also have to be gone from work for 3 hours minimum. So compared to a SAHM I can't do much, even though I'd really love to be more involved. Do you hold it against us?

No, nobody holds it against you -- after all, we work outside the home too and we can't generally volunteer all that much at our kids' schools. It truly really is about the kids. The parents only pop up on the radar once in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the teachers here: some of us have a better or worse ability to volunteer. For example, I work on Capitol Hill and my kid goes to a private school 45 minutes away, which means that I have to step away from the crisis-of-the-day, which I can never predict when I sign up for something a month in advance, and then I also have to be gone from work for 3 hours minimum. So compared to a SAHM I can't do much, even though I'd really love to be more involved. Do you hold it against us?

Never!! We know how hard you work and that you want the best for your child. We really know who is a good parent and who isn't and it doesn't have to do with volunteering. It has to do with your willingness and effort to support your child including when s/he needs help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for all the teachers in this area. Some of the parents around here are horrible. I want to punch them. If I had mega money, I think I would take all the teachers out for drinks! Hang in there.

Thanks! Most parents are great. But there's one every year who thinks they are the one who is the expert in child development and pedagogy. Invariably, they are the ones we let the next teacher know about. People are so worried about kids being tracked from teacher to teacher but they aren't. We always let each other know what a child's interests are, strengths and challenges but never in a mean or judgmental way. It's the problem parents we track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pp suggests that it is unwise to communicate with your children's teachers because they may come to despise the parents which could lead to retailliation against the child in the form of poor treatment or dishonest "EVALUATIONS".

Any adult who would retaliate against a child is malicious and potentially dangerous. They would also be sacrificing their honor and professionalism. Teachers may do it and they get away with it for a while, but eventually those behaviors will be identified by other people as well.

Once a person sacrifices their honor they become the exact same thing as they claim to despise the most.

not unwise to communicate - unwise to BE CRAZY to them and mistreat the teachers. if you are awful to a teacher it will most definitely influence how they treat your child, even if it is no on purpose.

Never. We would never treat a child differently because of a parent being kind or nasty. These are our students!