Black and Jewish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, but are not those ethiopian Jews in Israel. OP said her family was an English speaking country, so I doubt she will find very many Ethiopian Jews in the U.K.

There is a large number of Ethiopian Jews in Isreal. In fact, most of them relocated there from Ethiopia during Operation Solomon. While Ethio Jews certainly aren't the majority in the UK, they are there.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think of the two choices?

In his words, being Jewish is a big part of her everyday life (friends, community, synagogue, holidays etc.) so aside from being black, she has nothing in common with his family.

It doesn't matter to society that Judaism is a big part of her life. People will be looking at skin color. So if you choose your side over his, I'd make certain that she is in contact with ALL kids - especially those who mirror her.

I have a Jewish friend who adopted two Asian children and another who adopted an AA child. Personally, it will be a bit harder on the African American child should something happen to her parent b/c it's not often you see an AA who's a practicing Jew - whereas I have seen plenty of adopted Asian kids living in Jewish households.

Family can "protect" you only so much before you have to hit the real world, and think how confusing her life could potentially be if she sees few people who look like her.

PP, have you ever heard of Ethiopian Jews?

Or Rain Pryor (Richard Pryor's daughter)?

Yes

And I've heard of Sammy Davis Jr, too. What's your point?

Do you think OP's kid knows who Rain is?

I work in a very diverse public school. We have many Africans. I have yet to meet or to teach an Ethiopian Jew, as most are Christian or Muslim.

FWIW, my son attends a Jewish preschool. We're Catholic. So I am not an anti-Semite. far from it

I am, however, practical. And people will FIRST judge you on looks.

I did not accuse you of anti-semitism. Not sure how you jump from point a to point b. Your remark about an Asian child vs. a black child raised in a Jewish household seems absurd as is choosing a guardian based on how other people perceive you. Who cares what people think.

OP is lucky that both sides of her child's family would be loving and caring. She's trying to figure out which would be the best fit, and I don't think there's a clear cut answer to this.

I am the parent of black/jewish children in an affluent area of the city (ward 3 Spring Valley) OP, others will see your children as black no matter what you say. I'm guessing that you are white because you do not seem to realize this plain fact of life--because you do not have contact with black people or have black friends--because they would have told you this in confidence. You are naive the way you speak of Rain Pryor and Sammi Davis Jr. --these people are or were kind of jokes w/in both communities--no one holds up these examples anymore. Yes there are MANY, MANY black/jewish kids--but their parents are not really conservative or orthodox--or they wouldn't be married to a black person would they? In my case, the kids are adopted and I'm a swede and DH is jewish. We used to take the kids to a reform shul, but it got to be that they were really the only ones--and NO there is no ethiopian jewish community in DC--try Israel for that. Now they just go to church with me--it's more comfortable for me that way. And this is what my Black girlfriends with white/jewish husbands do too. They go to shul with dad for high holy days and we do passover and easter, etc. But the kids are Christian and will be confirmed as such.

[Anonymous]

Jew of color here.

Personally, I would choose the Jewish family in another country.

1. Identity. I've lived many places in the world and always seek other Jews, not necessarily other dark skinned people. I have much more in common with Jews and consider myself a Jew first and foremost.

2. Religion/Culture. The Southern Baptist family will raise your child Christian. They'll try to incorporate |Jewish teachings, sure, but they can't be expected to raise a child in a religion that they know nothing about, especially since there isn't even a local Jewish community that they can reach out to.

3. "Racism." Also, what many people are forgetting is that the US is actually pretty racist in comparison to other countries in the world. It's quite possible that OP's child will have an easier time being black somewhere else than in the deep south.

[Anonymous]

10:25 and 10:37 have interesting points. OP, I think you have to consider both outlooks on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your husband think of the two choices?

In his words, being Jewish is a big part of her everyday life (friends, community, synagogue, holidays etc.) so aside from being black, she has nothing in common with his family.

It doesn't matter to society that Judaism is a big part of her life. People will be looking at skin color. So if you choose your side over his, I'd make certain that she is in contact with ALL kids - especially those who mirror her.

I have a Jewish friend who adopted two Asian children and another who adopted an AA child. Personally, it will be a bit harder on the African American child should something happen to her parent b/c it's not often you see an AA who's a practicing Jew - whereas I have seen plenty of adopted Asian kids living in Jewish households.

Family can "protect" you only so much before you have to hit the real world, and think how confusing her life could potentially be if she sees few people who look like her.

PP, have you ever heard of Ethiopian Jews?

Or Rain Pryor (Richard Pryor's daughter)?

Yes

And I've heard of Sammy Davis Jr, too. What's your point?

Do you think OP's kid knows who Rain is?

I work in a very diverse public school. We have many Africans. I have yet to meet or to teach an Ethiopian Jew, as most are Christian or Muslim.

FWIW, my son attends a Jewish preschool. We're Catholic. So I am not an anti-Semite. far from it

I am, however, practical. And people will FIRST judge you on looks.

I did not accuse you of anti-semitism. Not sure how you jump from point a to point b. Your remark about an Asian child vs. a black child raised in a Jewish household seems absurd as is choosing a guardian based on how other people perceive you. Who cares what people think.

OP is lucky that both sides of her child's family would be loving and caring. She's trying to figure out which would be the best fit, and I don't think there's a clear cut answer to this.

I am the parent of black/jewish children in an affluent area of the city (ward 3 Spring Valley) OP, others will see your children as black no matter what you say. I'm guessing that you are white because you do not seem to realize this plain fact of life--because you do not have contact with black people or have black friends--because they would have told you this in confidence. You are naive the way you speak of Rain Pryor and Sammi Davis Jr. --these people are or were kind of jokes w/in both communities--no one holds up these examples anymore. Yes there are MANY, MANY black/jewish kids--but their parents are not really conservative or orthodox--or they wouldn't be married to a black person would they? In my case, the kids are adopted and I'm a swede and DH is jewish. We used to take the kids to a reform shul, but it got to be that they were really the only ones--and NO there is no ethiopian jewish community in DC--try Israel for that. Now they just go to church with me--it's more comfortable for me that way. And this is what my Black girlfriends with white/jewish husbands do too. They go to shul with dad for high holy days and we do passover and easter, etc. But the kids are Christian and will be confirmed as such.

I'm OP and you are quoting other posters- those were not things I said. Thanks for your input but you're wrong, we do have very close black friends and you're in a different position, your children are not Jewish as their mother isn't. I would never choose to raise my child as a Christian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jew of color here.

Personally, I would choose the Jewish family in another country.

1. Identity. I've lived many places in the world and always seek other Jews, not necessarily other dark skinned people. I have much more in common with Jews and consider myself a Jew first and foremost.

2. Religion/Culture. The Southern Baptist family will raise your child Christian. They'll try to incorporate |Jewish teachings, sure, but they can't be expected to raise a child in a religion that they know nothing about, especially since there isn't even a local Jewish community that they can reach out to.

3. "Racism." Also, what many people are forgetting is that the US is actually pretty racist in comparison to other countries in the world. It's quite possible that OP's child will have an easier time being black somewhere else than in the deep south.

OP here, thanks so much for your post.

[Anonymous]

OP, go with the Jewish family. It's pretty cler in your OP and all subsequent posts that you do not want your child with its black family.

[Anonymous]

so OP, only children of a jewish mother can be jewish? you are entitled to your own opinion as a traditional jew, but many reform jews would disagree. don't paint that statement as reality for all please.

[Anonymous]

OP, my kids are biracial and Jewish. There are many Jews who are NOT Ethiopian or biracial who are as dark as my children. They are those from Yemen and North Africa AND from Europe. The other day I watched a teacher going through the Hebrew lesson and she was darker than my son, she is from the Ukraine.

Back to your issue: FORGET culture. If you and husband die, your kids will just want to be with nice loving understanding organized people who keep them fed and warm.

[Anonymous]

If children are adopted, are they not Jewish if their mother was not Jewish? What happens in the case of adoption?

[Anonymous]

I don't think even an AA child would benefit much from being deep south...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If children are adopted, are they not Jewish if their mother was not Jewish? What happens in the case of adoption?

Yes, they are.

[Anonymous]

I just don't think OP is dealing with the reality that the Jewish community is not going to be welcoming in any real sense to her biracial children. The fct that she herself is jewish helps, but try sending them to Hebrew School at Washington Hebrew or some other such temple--she will see that they will treat her as an outsider. I wish this were not the case--it was my experience--although I am not jewish but my husband is. Religious school became the deal breaker for us.

[Anonymous]

It really is such a myth that there is less racism abroad. There is color discrimination on a massive scale. My relatives in Scandanavia have very little contact if any with blacks --but they are educated and middle class--and like most of their cohort are very discriminatory toward blacks and Muslims. The mass shooting in Denmark last summer was a typical example of the kind of race/muslim/african hatred that exists just beneath the surface throughout Europe. If you'll recall the I'm A Black African Ask Me Anything post--that sad poster was positively brimming with self hatred--sadly, throughout her posts she seemed breathtakingly unaware of her hatred of her own race and was completely un-self-actualized in her black identity. It is a trait I have often seen in blacks raised outside of america. Not only do biracials abroad not see themselves as Black--they deepy disparage and have disdain for other more black appearing blacks. That festers into a tragic sort of self-hatred over a lifetime--something I would never wish on my own biracial children. Don't knock growing up black in america versus Europe. We have a biracial president and a black first lady even though blacks are only 12% of the population--this would NEVER happen anywhere else in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really is such a myth that there is less racism abroad. There is color discrimination on a massive scale. My relatives in Scandanavia have very little contact if any with blacks --but they are educated and middle class--and like most of their cohort are very discriminatory toward blacks and Muslims. The mass shooting in Denmark last summer was a typical example of the kind of race/muslim/african hatred that exists just beneath the surface throughout Europe. If you'll recall the I'm A Black African Ask Me Anything post--that sad poster was positively brimming with self hatred--sadly, throughout her posts she seemed breathtakingly unaware of her hatred of her own race and was completely un-self-actualized in her black identity. It is a trait I have often seen in blacks raised outside of america. Not only do biracials abroad not see themselves as Black--they deepy disparage and have disdain for other more black appearing blacks. That festers into a tragic sort of self-hatred over a lifetime--something I would never wish on my own biracial children. Don't knock growing up black in america versus Europe. We have a biracial president and a black first lady even though blacks are only 12% of the population--this would NEVER happen anywhere else in the world.

Canada had a black head of state.