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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does your husband think of the two choices? [/quote]

In his words, being Jewish is a big part of her everyday life (friends, community, synagogue, holidays etc.) so aside from being black, she has nothing in common with his family. [/quote]

It doesn't matter to society that Judaism is a big part of her life.  People will be looking at skin color. So if you choose your side over his, I'd make certain that she is in contact with ALL kids - especially those who mirror her.

I have a Jewish friend who adopted two Asian children and another who adopted an AA child.  Personally, it will be a bit harder on the African American child should something happen to her parent b/c it's not often you see an AA who's a practicing Jew - whereas I have seen plenty of adopted Asian kids living in Jewish households.

Family can "protect" you only so much before you have to hit the real world, and think how confusing her life could potentially be if she sees few people who look like her.
[/quote]

PP, have you ever heard of Ethiopian Jews?

Or Rain Pryor (Richard Pryor's daughter)?[/quote]

Yes

And I've heard of Sammy Davis Jr, too.  What's your point?

Do you think OP's kid knows who Rain is?

I work in a very diverse public school.  We have many Africans.  I have yet to meet or to teach an Ethiopian Jew, as most are Christian or Muslim.

FWIW, my son attends a Jewish preschool.  We're Catholic.  So I am not an anti-Semite.  far from it

I am, however, practical.  And people will FIRST judge you on looks.[/quote]

I did not accuse you of anti-semitism.  Not sure how you jump from point a to point b.  Your remark about an Asian child vs. a black child raised in a Jewish household seems absurd as is choosing a guardian based on how other people perceive you. Who cares what people think.

OP is lucky that both sides of her child's family would be loving and caring.  She's trying to figure out which would be the best fit, and I don't think there's a clear cut answer to this.[/quote]

I am the parent of black/jewish children in an affluent area of the city (ward 3 Spring Valley) OP, others will see your children as black no matter what you say. I'm guessing that you are white because you do not seem to realize this plain fact of life--because you do not have contact with black people or have black friends--because they would have told you this in confidence. You are naive the way you speak of Rain Pryor and Sammi Davis Jr. --these people are or were kind of jokes w/in both communities--no one holds up these examples anymore. Yes there are MANY, MANY black/jewish kids--but their parents are not really conservative or orthodox--or they wouldn't be married to a black person would they? In  my case, the kids are adopted and I'm a swede and DH is jewish. We used to take the kids to a reform shul, but it got to be that they were really the only ones--and NO there is no ethiopian jewish community in DC--try Israel for that. Now they just go to church with me--it's more comfortable for me that way. And this is what my Black girlfriends with white/jewish husbands do too. They go to shul with dad for high holy days and we do passover and easter, etc. But the kids are Christian and will be confirmed as such. [/quote]

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