How long do you wait to tell someone that your child is gifted?

[Anonymous]

OP, everyone I have ever met here (yes everyone) does not understand intelligence is hereditary, nor are they bright enough to figure out if a child (not their own) is gifted offhand. So if my child is gifted, I would not bother because it is lost on the audience AND they will only be jealous and show their true, embarrassing colors. Hence your post.

[Anonymous]

I am curious, does it bother folks to have someone mention their child's musical talent or strong athletic abilities? Do people only get agitated about hearing parents speak of their children's academic strengths, or is all mention of a child's talents offensive? I know no one likes a constant braggart, but I only ever hear complaints about academic bragging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The problem is that many people obviously do care around her. I don't know if DD is"gifted," (she has not been tested yet0) but she does very well academically. I don't bring that up on my own, but other parents are constantly asking me about it and/or discussing their own child's academic progress. I have found that when you have a child who does very well academically, anything you say about it sounds like bragging. I am left with smiling and nodding or saying, "everything is fine."

This makes no sense. No other parent should know about your child's academic progress unless YOU bring it up. How would other parents know that your child did so well and are constantly asking you about it unless you told them to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The problem is that many people obviously do care around her. I don't know if DD is"gifted," (she has not been tested yet0) but she does very well academically. I don't bring that up on my own, but other parents are constantly asking me about it and/or discussing their own child's academic progress. I have found that when you have a child who does very well academically, anything you say about it sounds like bragging. I am left with smiling and nodding or saying, "everything is fine."

This makes no sense. No other parent should know about your child's academic progress unless YOU bring it up. How would other parents know that your child did so well and are constantly asking you about it unless you told them to begin with.

They don't bring up MY child's progress, they bring up THEIR child's performance, or their view of how the teacher handles challenge, and then want to know my experience and opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I get that no one wants to hear bragging, but what i don't get is why sharing a reasonable amount of information about your kid's strengths/attributes is inappropriate. Why would I resent someone else's kid's intelligence? Why does it have to be bragging if, in fact, my kid is smart? I'm not saying my kid is smartER than yours. Parents of special needs kids are allowed to talk about their kids and their challenges, but parents of smart kids are not?

Because nobody cares that your kid is smart except you so why share it?

I would never bring up my SN kid's issues in front of strangers or even acquaintances.

[Anonymous]

DH is a genius, comes from a family of geniuses & yes, LO is among them.

Me? I'm the dumb-dumb with just a 'very superior intelligence' IQ. As a result I avoid IQ discussions like the plague -- too embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's never OK to bring it up, IMHO. I am a parent of a "gifted".

It's bragging. It leads to resentment. There's no need for it.

If someone gets to know you and your kid, they will know for themselves if the kid is gifted. No need to advertise.

This 100%. Also, it can be difficult to easily spot the gifted kids. My gifted kid is socially awkward and mainly keeps to himself. It shocks the few parents or teachers that get to know him. There is no reason to brag or disclose his intelligence. It comes out naturally, with time.

[Anonymous]

I sort of hate how kids are labeled at a young age and then divided into little groups at school. I think I'd rather my kid attend one of those old timey one-room school houses where they teach kids of all abilities at the same time. I'm thinking Anne of Green Gables, or something. I don't know what my kid is yet, but I really never want him to think he's "gifted" in the way that people mean it here. You can do a lot with a little and a little with a lot, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Gifted, schmifted. My DD is one of the many here in Moco, no need to talk about it, I avoid the parents who do. Our kids have alot more advantages than many of the unlabelled gifted, that plays a huge part in the current GT labelling. It is bragging and also somewhat class-based.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack this thread but I'm honestly curious, how does one go about finding out if their child is "gifted"? Do the schools do routine testing based on identified abilities? Or do parents ask for them? My kids are still very little so I have no idea how this works. I remember my own very bizarre experience of being pulled out of class sometime in elementary school to take some tests, then being put in some "gifted" program with some other kids, some of whom turned out to be really smart and some of whom turned out to be deadbeats (er...wasted talent?). How does it work in this area?

Check out the VA Schools forum here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack this thread but I'm honestly curious, how does one go about finding out if their child is "gifted"? Do the schools do routine testing based on identified abilities? Or do parents ask for them? My kids are still very little so I have no idea how this works. I remember my own very bizarre experience of being pulled out of class sometime in elementary school to take some tests, then being put in some "gifted" program with some other kids, some of whom turned out to be really smart and some of whom turned out to be deadbeats (er...wasted talent?). How does it work in this area?

read the book Nurtureshock. It has some good points about why kids who seem gifted young don't end up that way. Here it seems they test the kids in second grade, and again in third. Something like 3% get put in the gifted and talented centers for fourth and fifth grades. From kindergarten, kids are clustered by ability within the classroom, and it seems like they re-check ability levels frequently. (in Montco anyway)

Even that either is too young, or else hard work may count for more, as one PP noted. Using myself as an example -- I was never labeled "gifted" when we were tested in elementary school, and I was a good but not brilliant student through about 8th grade -- excellent in verbal subjects, average in math and science. And then from about the time I turned 14 it was like a switch turned on in my brain and suddenly math and science made sense. I worked hard, was first in my class 3 out of 4 years of high school, went on to be successful, etc. All of which I mention just to say that the gifted label, or lack thereof, did nothing to help or hurt me. I am not against tracking kids based on performance -- I was horribly bored in many untracked high school classes -- but I see no need to label them unless they truly show brilliance, which is rare. There was such a boy in my high school class, who got straight A's without ever taking notes or doing homework, while the rest of us worked hard. But that is one out of the 20 or 30 who were labeled gifted as young children.

[Anonymous]

Folks, there really aren't THAT many gifted kids out there and if someone is telling you about their advanced kid, chances are that he is just an ordinary kid like most of the others.

There may be a few smart ones out there, but other than that there are a whole LOT of loosers.... - George Carlin -

[Anonymous]

losers - sorry typo!

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine ever bringing it up. People who know us know how my ds is and people who don't know us don't care.

[Anonymous]

When people "share" how gifted their child is, I just nod, smile and get the hell away. I was a gifted child: walked, talked and was potty trained by one, reading at two and entered first grade as a three yr old, etc. Had a high school reading and comprehension at five. Yip-tee-doo.

I have no idea why parents think they get credit for their gifted kid.