How long do you wait to tell someone that your child is gifted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I get that no one wants to hear bragging, but what i don't get is why sharing a reasonable amount of information about your kid's strengths/attributes is inappropriate. Why would I resent someone else's kid's intelligence? Why does it have to be bragging if, in fact, my kid is smart? I'm not saying my kid is smartER than yours. Parents of special needs kids are allowed to talk about their kids and their challenges, but parents of smart kids are not?

Because nobody cares that your kid is smart except you so why share it?

The problem is that many people obviously do care around her. I don't know if DD is"gifted," (she has not been tested yet0) but she does very well academically. I don't bring that up on my own, but other parents are constantly asking me about it and/or discussing their own child's academic progress. I have found that when you have a child who does very well academically, anything you say about it sounds like bragging. I am left with smiling and nodding or saying, "everything is fine."

[Anonymous]

I like average. Gifted can be overrated sometimes. Many truly gifted children are obviously different in an odd or weird way. It is good to have a nice combination of IQ and EQ giftedness.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you just have to talk to my kid to know. I don't ever have to "announce" it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with 9:07 as to #3. That's a tad malicious.

This has never happened to me, never. My child is verbally gifted but I never mention it to anyone.

Wait until high school. Parents have showed up at soccer practice boasting about their older child's SAT scores. I'm on a listserv with some writers and one mother boasted about her child's SAT scores there, too.

It has happened to me a lot. I do not say anything back. Sometimes DD is with me. She will start a conversation and the other person just stands there blown away. I have no idea if my DD is verbally gifted. She talks a lot (always has).

[Anonymous]

If you know a who parent who is always going on and on about how gifted their kid is, think about how often the child in question is hearing it. To me, that's the real problem.

[Anonymous]

Does it make you wonder about the parent's intelligence if they brag about a gifted child? I think if they were gifted they wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Forever. My child is not an extension of me. I have one gifted child, one not.

[Anonymous]

Never.

DS1 tested as at least a year ahead in language/cognitive skills (testing for IFSP). DS2 also tested as advanced in language/cognitive skills. My view - so what? They may even out with their peers in elementary school, and advanced in some skills or no they still have their strengths/weaknesses in other things. And gifted or not, kids are kids.

[Anonymous]

Not to hijack this thread but I'm honestly curious, how does one go about finding out if their child is "gifted"? Do the schools do routine testing based on identified abilities? Or do parents ask for them? My kids are still very little so I have no idea how this works. I remember my own very bizarre experience of being pulled out of class sometime in elementary school to take some tests, then being put in some "gifted" program with some other kids, some of whom turned out to be really smart and some of whom turned out to be deadbeats (er...wasted talent?). How does it work in this area?

[Anonymous]

Most of the "gifted" students I met in a junior high (they went to a gifted elementary) were arrogant and with the exception of 2 out of 20 or so all did not live up to their "giftedness" so I think its a total load of baloney no matter how its sliced. Even if I think my kid is gifted I won't 1) tell them or anyone else and 2) emphasize work ethic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a funny situation that I see happen over and over again.
At a party or park or other social gathering and a parent with a gifted child comes up to me and tells me within oh, about 10 minutes.
I have noticed that once that is said, the converstion leads to how the schools are slowing their child down, schools are dumbed down, the other kids are holding my child back, and so on.
To me, this is no different than say, talking about your salary, or other private things like how big..., well, just private.

Just wait for days after knowing someone to bring it up...if you must.

Eh. We are all going to brag about our kids being the best. I hope.
My cousin told my mom when he was in 3rd grade. She reminds him every time he talks to her how he's gifted... he's now 32ish. But, we were all gifted so we tended not to mention it.
I'd rather people be surprised by my little bumpkin but he is slowly turning out to be just plain old average.

Why must you start every response in any thread with, "Eh."

I swear I've seen this on multiple threads. What's up with that?

[Anonymous]

I have mentioned it, but it usually feels really awkward. I feel like I should be able to talk about it in context (ie, with regard to discussion about children's personalities, challenges at school, issues I'm concerned about etc.) I actually feel awkward even mentioning it to his school, and have to remind myself that it's my job to advocate for my child. Still, it feels silly to go to the teachers, administrators, whoever and say "so, my child seems advanced academically, and what do you provide for kids like him" when it seems like they hear that all the time, and from their perspective the parents' judgement is not always accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to hijack this thread but I'm honestly curious, how does one go about finding out if their child is "gifted"? Do the schools do routine testing based on identified abilities? Or do parents ask for them? My kids are still very little so I have no idea how this works. I remember my own very bizarre experience of being pulled out of class sometime in elementary school to take some tests, then being put in some "gifted" program with some other kids, some of whom turned out to be really smart and some of whom turned out to be deadbeats (er...wasted talent?). How does it work in this area?

read the book Nurtureshock. It has some good points about why kids who seem gifted young don't end up that way. Here it seems they test the kids in second grade, and again in third. Something like 3% get put in the gifted and talented centers for fourth and fifth grades. From kindergarten, kids are clustered by ability within the classroom, and it seems like they re-check ability levels frequently. (in Montco anyway)

[Anonymous]

^^ This has more to do with MoCo's incredibly expansive definition of gifted, by which 40% of the kids in the county get the gifted label. Ridiculous, and harmful to the 2 - 3% who are truly "gifted" and need to get an appropriate education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ This has more to do with MoCo's incredibly expansive definition of gifted, by which 40% of the kids in the county get the gifted label. Ridiculous, and harmful to the 2 - 3% who are truly "gifted" and need to get an appropriate education.

This made me laugh out loud. Maybe everyone will be gifted just like how they give awards to everyone. And college, and *gasp* law school, is for everyone. Ah, the Gifted Generation, G2. The Millennials will hate the Gifteds and their I'm so smart attitude.