Is my kid entitled? How to tell? (article uses a DC kid as an example of entitled:))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I need to read the article, because I know that every parent on these boards has entitled kids. Entitled does not = bratty. Call it privileged if you like, but let's face it.

My kids are not entitled or privileged. Just because we live in the DC area and have access to internet, does not make it so.

I will give you bratty, because there are times when all kids are bratty (all women are bitchy, all men are assholes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not all about "things." We have the money to buy things so we buy nice things. Therefore, the kids' (teens) things are all nice: Ugg, Northface, Starbucks, Tiffany, etc, nice vacations, nice cars, all Apple everything etc, etc. If the kids are nice and compassionate and thankful, then having all nice things does not make them entitled. I think it may mean just that their parents have plenty of money.

Ugg and Northface products are 'nice things'? I beg to differ. They're ugly as a deadly sin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We have lots (no really) of money. The kids have no idea. We feel it is important for them to grow up knowing a regular life and not a privileged life. Most people in the real world do not live a privileged life. They need to know how to get along after we are gone, even if it is with an enormous inheritance. You are doing your kids no favors if you are one bonus away from defaulting on your huge mortgage and acting like an a**hole in the meantime. The true meaning of diversity comes from class, not skin color. If yo travel almost anywhere, there is diverse skin color AND diverse socioeconomics. Teach them well and they will live well. This is not limited to name brands.

A shame more people in this are are supposed to be smart, but do not realize this crucial piece of information about every day life.

yes thank you pp for clarifying lol, it's very, very important that all of us out here know how rich you are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not all about "things." We have the money to buy things so we buy nice things. Therefore, the kids' (teens) things are all nice: Ugg, Northface, Starbucks, Tiffany, etc, nice vacations, nice cars, all Apple everything etc, etc. If the kids are nice and compassionate and thankful, then having all nice things does not make them entitled. I think it may mean just that their parents have plenty of money.

Ugg and Northface products are 'nice things'? I beg to differ. They're ugly as a deadly sin.

Then my kids aren't entitle, spoiled or bratty per the DCUM gods. Thank goodness!

[Anonymous]

15:59 - a lot of hatred for someone you don't even know, no? W-O-W.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will your kids be able to accept a steep decline in their standard of living when they are first out on their own? Or do they expect to be able to have Apple and Tiffany and whatever other name brand you can think of? I think it's a good test of whether they are entitled or not. Too bad it takes until college.

It won't take until college. The spoiling parents will continue to spoil them throughout college and things will get ugly when the snowflakes graduate, and think that a BA degree entitles them to a starting salary of $100k and an apartment in Georgetown.

Is is spoiling because it's something you can't afford? If DH and I sit in first class, should DC sit in coach with the nanny? If we want to ski in the Alps, should we send the kids on a separate trip to Ski Liberty? If I'm in Nordstrom buying clothes for me, do I have to schlep out to Walmart to buy things for the kids? Will this teach them a lesson? Just because it's expensive for you, doesn't mean it's expensive for me.

But if your kids graduate from college and get a $45K/yr job, are they still going to expect to fly first class and go skiing in the Alps? Or are they going to be able to deal with the fact that they can only afford coach, to a location in the US, once a year?

Treating your kids to expensive things is not bad in and of itself, it's when there's an attitude that ONLY the expensive things are worth it and anyone who doesn't have them is below you that it becomes entitlement. When it's flaunted in others' faces, that's being bratty. Happiness doesn't come from material possessions or fancy trips. Those things are certainly enjoyable, but they're not necessary for a fulfilling life.

High price =/= high value. Many of the best things in life don't cost a lot. Do your kids realize this? Or is everything about the price tag?

[Anonymous]

Two thoughts about the article and various PP:

1. DC has a Serendipity?!

2. Some of the posters seriously need to take it to www.whitewhine.com!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will your kids be able to accept a steep decline in their standard of living when they are first out on their own? Or do they expect to be able to have Apple and Tiffany and whatever other name brand you can think of? I think it's a good test of whether they are entitled or not. Too bad it takes until college.

It won't take until college. The spoiling parents will continue to spoil them throughout college and things will get ugly when the snowflakes graduate, and think that a BA degree entitles them to a starting salary of $100k and an apartment in Georgetown.

Is is spoiling because it's something you can't afford? If DH and I sit in first class, should DC sit in coach with the nanny? If we want to ski in the Alps, should we send the kids on a separate trip to Ski Liberty? If I'm in Nordstrom buying clothes for me, do I have to schlep out to Walmart to buy things for the kids? Will this teach them a lesson? Just because it's expensive for you, doesn't mean it's expensive for me.

I'm the one who wrote about whether they can take a steep decline in their standard of living when out on their own. Presumably, they won't be making enough to afford trips to the Alps at age 24 or so. Are they going to be OK with that? It's not how much money you have or what you shower your children with, it's whether you raise them with the resilience necessary to thrive in any situation, not just a moneyed one.

[Anonymous]

I love entitled kids and their parents. Please, never tell your angels no. A percentage of them will think that the law doesn't apply to them and will start breaking them. Then their wealthy parents come to me to get junior out of trouble. Keep right on giving them everything they want! Mama wants a beach house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not all about "things." We have the money to buy things so we buy nice things. Therefore, the kids' (teens) things are all nice: Ugg, Northface, Starbucks, Tiffany, etc, nice vacations, nice cars, all Apple everything etc, etc. If the kids are nice and compassionate and thankful, then having all nice things does not make them entitled. I think it may mean just that their parents have plenty of money.

If you are this focused on labels and brand names, then I guarantee you your kids are "entitled." It has less to do with what you're giving them, than what you're teaching them.

Not really. There's no "focus" on these things and we're not "teaching" them anything except maybe choose quality over crap. DH and I grew up with crappy things and we don't want crappy things now. And, btw, you can't "guarantee" anything.

No, you are teaching them to pay a lot of money for something because it has a well-known label. That often has nothing to do with quality.

[Anonymous]

17:16 - just like George whats his name, the lacrosse player/murderer. Disgusting.

I agree, you can't set your children up for disaster AND make them independent/self sufficient at the same time. Children should know reality, how the real world lives, and the word "no", period.

Off topic but addressing OP, I know plenty of moms with a beach house who are not entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will your kids be able to accept a steep decline in their standard of living when they are first out on their own? Or do they expect to be able to have Apple and Tiffany and whatever other name brand you can think of? I think it's a good test of whether they are entitled or not. Too bad it takes until college.

Please. Do you really think these little princes and princesses will ever be out on their own, expected to pay their own way? The idea of living 6 people to a group house because that's all you can afford in rent would never occur to some of these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love entitled kids and their parents. Please, never tell your angels no. A percentage of them will think that the law doesn't apply to them and will start breaking them. Then their wealthy parents come to me to get junior out of trouble. Keep right on giving them everything they want! Mama wants a beach house.

LOL!!!

I am not materialistic at all. I own very little name brand items. Heck, I don't even like diamonds. I'm am amethyst kinda gal. My son is only 10 months old and most of his clothing was given to him from his cousin. With his 1st birthday coming up I have friends who've made comments about how little I'm doing for him...we're thinking homemade cupcakes and just family. When he's older and wants a car he'll have to get a job and buy one himself.

I'm glad to say we won't be needing your services. If for some reason my son gets himself put in jail, he'll just have to get himself out. My parents made sure we worked hard for our 'wants', I'm sure glad they did. I'm sure my son and future children will come to appreciate our standards and values too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not all about "things." We have the money to buy things so we buy nice things. Therefore, the kids' (teens) things are all nice: Ugg, Northface, Starbucks, Tiffany, etc, nice vacations, nice cars, all Apple everything etc, etc. If the kids are nice and compassionate and thankful, then having all nice things does not make them entitled. I think it may mean just that their parents have plenty of money.

I guarantee your kids are probably bratty if they have all of those things all the time. Having all nice things ALL the time does make someone entitled. I know many parents with "plenty of money" (probably more than you have) who do not give their children all of those things.

I agree with you PP.

While taking a break from an interview with Nelson Rockefeller, the reporter overheard this short conversation:

One of Rocjefeller's sons: "Gee, dad, if I had $5.00, I could go to the dance tonight."

NR: "Gee, son, if you had saved your allowance, you would have had the $5.00."

This is an example of not bringing up your kids to be entitled, no matter how much money you have.

[Anonymous]

18:51 - THIS.