Husband threatened to cheat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, this happened to me postpartum too after our first. I had horrible damage from a third degree tear and sex was painful and not enjoyable the way it was previously. It didn’t go away for about a year, and even after that, I still tried to have sex w DH about once a week or once every two weeks at least. That was tough for our marriage, but I thought it was cruel to withhold sex forever.

Pelvic floor PT helped. Reading x rated stories / the trashy/fluffy romance novels helped. Having a second baby actually changed my life. The doctor restitched me and helped fix some of the damage from the previous tear. I felt like a new person again and sex felt the same way it had before my first.

Yes this happened to me too. DH would see me wince during sex and it would kill it for him. We couldn’t even complete the act and we did it maybe once in 2 years and conceived our second. 😂 Having the second kid fixed it for me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

What do you do? You put out. It's not hard.

Team DH.

The patriarchy is dead! Long live the patriarchy!

[Anonymous]

There R 4 other holes right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

To be clear, youre 5 months PP and already have had sex multiple occasions where you know the bolded? If yes, is it painful or not enjoyable? Have you had pelvic PT?

Lastly, any guy who hears his wife doesnt enjoy sex anymore and responds as above and not with.. damn why whats going on? Is it physical or are you just not feeling like yourself? At the very least, a 'has it or does it hurt you' would be considerate.

OP tread carefully. Coercion is a real thing in many marriages. If he isnt supporting you in resolving the issues you are having then only you can decide if that feels like a partnership.

Sure, deflect blame back on husband. SMFH.

BLAME? He got angry when she turned him down (n=1 from the OP) and then was vulnerable and said she wasnt enjoying it. Yeah, a blame the DH for being an inconsiderate d5ck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There R 4 other holes right

if sex hurts vaginally I can almost guarantee it hurts with anal as well because the issues related to pregnancy and delivery usually involve the whole PF. I can also hedge my bet that OPs husband is the type who will not be satisfied with oral since he showed no concern about his wife no longer enjoying sex.

OP has your DH ever given you an orgasm?

[Anonymous]

Give him your blessing and let him have his fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you are at fault here. You need to look into the issue and sex is very important part of marriage. How long do you think he could go without doing it?

also, what if tomorrow, he decide to not share his paycheck with you? That would be his choice that you have to be ok with!!

Ehhhh. Some truth to this.

OP go to the doctor and attempt to triage your down there issue.

Otherwise your marriage is going to be a hot mess.

Good luck though.

[Anonymous]

So the husband is expected to happily remain a monk forever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the husband is expected to happily remain a monk forever?

For all you single or divorced men considering getting married again, you really need to do your homework. The first lesson is reading this forum. If this forum doesn't convince you, as it has me, to never marry again then I wish you all the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the husband is expected to happily remain a monk forever?

For all you single or divorced men considering getting married again, you really need to do your homework. The first lesson is reading this forum. If this forum doesn't convince you, as it has me, to never marry again then I wish you all the best.

Thank you for removing yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give him your blessing and let him have his fun.

Actually - this is it. This is the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There R 4 other holes right

if sex hurts vaginally I can almost guarantee it hurts with anal as well because the issues related to pregnancy and delivery usually involve the whole PF. I can also hedge my bet that OPs husband is the type who will not be satisfied with oral since he showed no concern about his wife no longer enjoying sex.

OP has your DH ever given you an orgasm?

It didn't to me. I did it for a while when I couldn't do vaginal after child birth and actually enjoyed it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

Is this a troll?

Middle aged mom here. You really need to have sex with your husband sometimes, otherwise it's not fair to ask for a commitment. You cant demand celibacy from another human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the husband is expected to happily remain a monk forever?

For all you single or divorced men considering getting married again, you really need to do your homework. The first lesson is reading this forum. If this forum doesn't convince you, as it has me, to never marry again then I wish you all the best.

plus 1. It’s so outdated to put marriage on some kind of pedestal. The happiest people seem to be the ones that avoid marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

Is this a troll?

Middle aged mom here. You really need to have sex with your husband sometimes, otherwise it's not fair to ask for a commitment. You cant demand celibacy from another human.

That is nonsense. If he does not like it, he can file for divorce. I was in a sexless marriage for many many many years. I am the woman. I eventually filed for divorce, but it wasn’t because of the lack of sex. It was for bigger problems. He had low T and I couldn’t stand him. He did not file. I did. You can demand celibacy and they are free to leave via divorce.