Husband threatened to cheat

[Anonymous]

We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but this is written like a troll.

[Anonymous]

Man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

[Anonymous]

I'm not trying to be harsh, but he is correct.

If you care about your marriage, discuss with your doctor what is uncomfortable about it and what can be done about that. It's already been months, and it sounds like he's pretty frustrated.

Instead of shooting him down, tell him you are making a doctor appointment to address this issue. If he's a decent guy, he will be patient while you work on figuring this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not trying to be harsh, but he is correct.

If you care about your marriage, discuss with your doctor what is uncomfortable about it and what can be done about that. It's already been months, and it sounds like he's pretty frustrated.

Instead of shooting him down, tell him you are making a doctor appointment to address this issue. If he's a decent guy, he will be patient while you work on figuring this out.

You sound…. dumb.


AF.

[Anonymous]

First of all, he’s not threatening to cheat. He is expressing to you how sexually frustrated he is.

Your situation is unclear. Do you think now that you have a baby, sex with your husband is just over? I can see why your husband is upset and feeling desperate.

On the other hand, you are exhausted and may have physical issues from the birth. Do you actually miss sex with your husband want to have it? If so, express this to him in a kind way, and maybe you guys can figure out how to take away some of the roadblocks.

You have not told us what type of dad and husband he is. If he is always a jerk and isn’t helpful, that’s one situation, but if he is a great dad and husband, that is entirely different. We need more info to give you advice.

[Anonymous]

I had pelvic floor pain for about 6 months after my c section (I learned during PT a c sectioncan actually be harder on the pelvic floor) and thank goodness my spouse was patient and willing to work with me on what wouldn't hurt. Breastfeeding also can affect sex because of lowered estrogen.

You definitely can't shut down sex entirely permanently but also I hope the spouse isn't just demanding sex without talking about what does and doesn't work in a post partum situation (and trying things like lube).

[Anonymous]

Offer to give him BJs. This will solve a lot of problems, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Just let him have a hall pass. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anymore? What a ridiculous statement Op. You made it sound like your "no" answer was forever. No wonder he's mad. He should be. But maybe you just didn't choose your words well.

You really *should* be ready to resume sex soon. Or I would suggest he leave you!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anymore? What a ridiculous statement Op. You made it sound like your "no" answer was forever. No wonder he's mad. He should be. But maybe you just didn't choose your words well.

You really *should* be ready to resume sex soon. Or I would suggest he leave you!!

There is no “should.” No one has to have sex with anyone. But no one should have to become celibate because their partner has. OP is free to abstain and her husband is free to find someone else. After the divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a baby 5 months ago and turned him down for sex, I told him that I don’t enjoy sex anymore after giving birth. He got all angry and said “see, this is why men cheat”, so basically threatening or justifying cheating because he’s not getting sex from me. This is making me distraught, I don’t know if he’s already cheating or just thinking about it. What do I do!

You can give him sex without being into it. It's not all about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anymore? What a ridiculous statement Op. You made it sound like your "no" answer was forever. No wonder he's mad. He should be. But maybe you just didn't choose your words well.

You really *should* be ready to resume sex soon. Or I would suggest he leave you!!

There is no “should.” No one has to have sex with anyone. But no one should have to become celibate because their partner has. OP is free to abstain and her husband is free to find someone else. After the divorce.

You mean after she is done taking all of his assets because she is flaky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let him have a hall pass. Problem solved.

Not OP, but it didn’t work and I wanted him to have the hall pass.

[Anonymous]

Just get a divorce