I want to hear from men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never met a woman who claimed most of her friends were men who turned out to be sufferable.

Agree. Nothing worse than the I'm Not Like The Other Girls thirsty type.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like when I see men commenting on posts here, it actually makes me feel happy and kind of like… wow. Even when you don’t agree with the OP, it’s usually more like “I don’t like that” without attacking, and I respect that. It makes me want to talk to men more. Most of my friends are men, and I think men are underappreciated. A lot of women hate men for no reason, and it’s odd.

First and most importantly, how are you doing? I hope everything going well in your life.

What do you actually want?
Like in life, in relationships, all of

How can women make things better for you?

What makes you feel respected or valued?

What do you want from the woman you’re with?

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?

And do you think men are devalued right now?

53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I'm a man. This guy's list doesn't reflect my priorities and preferences but I think many men are like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

Both of these responses are 100% on the money. I'm a 44 y/o man, for the record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I don't agree with everything you said, but I have heard it before from men in my circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like when I see men commenting on posts here, it actually makes me feel happy and kind of like… wow. Even when you don’t agree with the OP, it’s usually more like “I don’t like that” without attacking, and I respect that. It makes me want to talk to men more. Most of my friends are men, and I think men are underappreciated. A lot of women hate men for no reason, and it’s odd.

First and most importantly, how are you doing? I hope everything going well in your life.

What do you actually want?
Like in life, in relationships, all of

How can women make things better for you?

What makes you feel respected or valued?

What do you want from the woman you’re with?

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?

And do you think men are devalued right now?

53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I think the problem is your wife was expecting a husband, and you were expecting a mommy. Neither of you got what you expected. Your wife's role isn't to coddle you, kiss it and make it better. Your job as a husband is to step and do what needs to be done--without complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:55 y.o. male lawyer here, make around $400k, have 2 DC's, one wife.
Generally, life is pretty good, as I get to do spend time on what I love: my DC's, family, work, exercising, and a few hours a week on my obscure hobby.
What would I like?
1) i wish everyone (my wife and DC's) appreciated how demanding it is to come up with the $20k per month that is required to keep the household running. I'm not saying that we don't live well, but that private school, that big house, all those school extra curricular activities aren't free, and I'm the one responsible for them. On top of that, I still have to attend recitals, teach them how to ride a bike, and be a therapist when a DC is having an emotional crisis.
2) I also LOVE it when my wife makes the effort to look hot. After everything that I do for (1), it's a nice reward that I wish I got more often.

What is involved in her looking hot? Do you mean going to the gym and dieting, wearing (more?) makeup, more expensive clothes, getting her hair dyed? Or wearing sexier clothes like tighter and shorter? Or something else?

DP
You'll get different answers, but for me it's not about looking like Sydney Sweeney or Beyonce, it's just about doing something to indicate she wants me to notice and engage at a physical level. It doesn't even have to actually work on a fashion level. Just the act of trying to glam up a bit shows what she's thinking, and that's what makes me feel appreciated and excited.

And I wouldn't touch Beyonce with a 10' pole.

Why not?

Because she’s trashy. Sexy =\= Trashy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I don't agree with everything you said, but I have heard it before from men in my circle.

In my circle, middle aged men working 60 hours/wk are in charge. Far from being constantly told that they aren’t good enough, they are frequently told that they are better than they are.

I think this guy sounds like a narcissist. He doesn’t care about his wife’s (or any woman’s?) job and her six figure salary AT ALL, but he wants everyone to act like his job is equivalent to fighting a TIGER? Really?

Yeah. I think you sound like a misogynist and a nightmare to the women in your office. I can’t imagine being a young woman telling you that I need to take off for a maternity leave. I mean, here you are out there fighting tigers and being constantly criticized and getting no gratitude from society, and some woman is asking you for time off!?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like when I see men commenting on posts here, it actually makes me feel happy and kind of like… wow. Even when you don’t agree with the OP, it’s usually more like “I don’t like that” without attacking, and I respect that. It makes me want to talk to men more. Most of my friends are men, and I think men are underappreciated. A lot of women hate men for no reason, and it’s odd.

First and most importantly, how are you doing? I hope everything going well in your life.

What do you actually want?
Like in life, in relationships, all of

How can women make things better for you?

What makes you feel respected or valued?

What do you want from the woman you’re with?

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?

And do you think men are devalued right now?

53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I think the problem is your wife was expecting a husband, and you were expecting a mommy. Neither of you got what you expected. Your wife's role isn't to coddle you, kiss it and make it better. Your job as a husband is to step and do what needs to be done--without complaint.

That guy is more than half a century old and divorced and not an ounce of self reflection. How embarrassing and sad for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like when I see men commenting on posts here, it actually makes me feel happy and kind of like… wow. Even when you don’t agree with the OP, it’s usually more like “I don’t like that” without attacking, and I respect that. It makes me want to talk to men more. Most of my friends are men, and I think men are underappreciated. A lot of women hate men for no reason, and it’s odd.

First and most importantly, how are you doing? I hope everything going well in your life.

What do you actually want?
Like in life, in relationships, all of

How can women make things better for you?

What makes you feel respected or valued?

What do you want from the woman you’re with?

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?

And do you think men are devalued right now?

53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I think the problem is your wife was expecting a husband, and you were expecting a mommy. Neither of you got what you expected. Your wife's role isn't to coddle you, kiss it and make it better. Your job as a husband is to step and do what needs to be done--without complaint.

😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:55 y.o. male lawyer here, make around $400k, have 2 DC's, one wife.
Generally, life is pretty good, as I get to do spend time on what I love: my DC's, family, work, exercising, and a few hours a week on my obscure hobby.
What would I like?
1) i wish everyone (my wife and DC's) appreciated how demanding it is to come up with the $20k per month that is required to keep the household running. I'm not saying that we don't live well, but that private school, that big house, all those school extra curricular activities aren't free, and I'm the one responsible for them. On top of that, I still have to attend recitals, teach them how to ride a bike, and be a therapist when a DC is having an emotional crisis.
2) I also LOVE it when my wife makes the effort to look hot. After everything that I do for (1), it's a nice reward that I wish I got more often.

What is involved in her looking hot? Do you mean going to the gym and dieting, wearing (more?) makeup, more expensive clothes, getting her hair dyed? Or wearing sexier clothes like tighter and shorter? Or something else?

DP
You'll get different answers, but for me it's not about looking like Sydney Sweeney or Beyonce, it's just about doing something to indicate she wants me to notice and engage at a physical level. It doesn't even have to actually work on a fashion level. Just the act of trying to glam up a bit shows what she's thinking, and that's what makes me feel appreciated and excited.

And I wouldn't touch Beyonce with a 10' pole.

Why not?

Because she’s trashy. Sexy =\= Trashy

DP.

I bet you this classy guy watches porn. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:55 y.o. male lawyer here, make around $400k, have 2 DC's, one wife.
Generally, life is pretty good, as I get to do spend time on what I love: my DC's, family, work, exercising, and a few hours a week on my obscure hobby.
What would I like?
1) i wish everyone (my wife and DC's) appreciated how demanding it is to come up with the $20k per month that is required to keep the household running. I'm not saying that we don't live well, but that private school, that big house, all those school extra curricular activities aren't free, and I'm the one responsible for them. On top of that, I still have to attend recitals, teach them how to ride a bike, and be a therapist when a DC is having an emotional crisis.
2) I also LOVE it when my wife makes the effort to look hot. After everything that I do for (1), it's a nice reward that I wish I got more often.

What is involved in her looking hot? Do you mean going to the gym and dieting, wearing (more?) makeup, more expensive clothes, getting her hair dyed? Or wearing sexier clothes like tighter and shorter? Or something else?

DP
You'll get different answers, but for me it's not about looking like Sydney Sweeney or Beyonce, it's just about doing something to indicate she wants me to notice and engage at a physical level. It doesn't even have to actually work on a fashion level. Just the act of trying to glam up a bit shows what she's thinking, and that's what makes me feel appreciated and excited.

And I wouldn't touch Beyonce with a 10' pole.

Why not?

Because she’s trashy. Sexy =\= Trashy

DP.

I bet you this classy guy watches porn. Lol

Hilarious that he drew the line of trashy at Beyoncé but not Sydney Sweeney.

[Anonymous]

"What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago."

This is off. My DH was married twice before. He's a 6-figure salary earner, as am I. His XW was low maintenance at first because she was just glad he'd agreed to marry and financially support her. Somehow, without a college degree, she was living a UMC lifestyle, thanks to him. But you can't take a woman like that around your 6-figure people and not be embarrassed. She couldn't trade travel stories with them. She wasn't pleasant when they got home after an evening of her feeling intimidated by them. She felt inadequate and would beg to leave as soon as they got there because she knew she was out of her element. He loves that his colleagues, bosses, friends, family are impressed by my education and career, and that they think I'm super interesting and fun. I'm an asset to his career, and I help smooth over any issues with his family. I make his life 10X easier in this respect, whereas his XW was a liability.

And let me tell you, I can't be on the ball at my 8am meeting with an important client if I was up at 3am. A SAHM, OTOH, or someone with an easy job can do that every other night of the week.

He knows that I love him and want to be with him as a choice. I don't need his money or contacts to live the posh life I've built for myself. Does that mean he has to stay on his toes and make sure that I keep wanting to stay? Hell yes, just like I do for him. He knows that I have standards and expectations and that he needs to meet them. Neither of us "needs" the other. We're committed, but nobody is staying because we need the other's gravy train. Do you get how freeing that is? It means that he KNOWS that if I'm there, it's because I sincerely and authentically want him around. I'm not tolerating him and pretending to be low maintenance just because I need access to his Platinum card, since I've got my own. You might think that's the sort of woman you want. And you might find a woman who is great at pretending that she has no needs. But everyone has needs. She's just stuffing hers down so that you'll keep her around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago."

This is off. My DH was married twice before. He's a 6-figure salary earner, as am I. His XW was low maintenance at first because she was just glad he'd agreed to marry and financially support her. Somehow, without a college degree, she was living a UMC lifestyle, thanks to him. But you can't take a woman like that around your 6-figure people and not be embarrassed. She couldn't trade travel stories with them. She wasn't pleasant when they got home after an evening of her feeling intimidated by them. She felt inadequate and would beg to leave as soon as they got there because she knew she was out of her element. He loves that his colleagues, bosses, friends, family are impressed by my education and career, and that they think I'm super interesting and fun. I'm an asset to his career, and I help smooth over any issues with his family. I make his life 10X easier in this respect, whereas his XW was a liability.

And let me tell you, I can't be on the ball at my 8am meeting with an important client if I was up at 3am. A SAHM, OTOH, or someone with an easy job can do that every other night of the week.

He knows that I love him and want to be with him as a choice. I don't need his money or contacts to live the posh life I've built for myself. Does that mean he has to stay on his toes and make sure that I keep wanting to stay? Hell yes, just like I do for him. He knows that I have standards and expectations and that he needs to meet them. Neither of us "needs" the other. We're committed, but nobody is staying because we need the other's gravy train. Do you get how freeing that is? It means that he KNOWS that if I'm there, it's because I sincerely and authentically want him around. I'm not tolerating him and pretending to be low maintenance just because I need access to his Platinum card, since I've got my own. You might think that's the sort of woman you want. And you might find a woman who is great at pretending that she has no needs. But everyone has needs. She's just stuffing hers down so that you'll keep her around.

DP. Yet men leave women like you everyday for women like your DH's ex and vice versa. He lied to you. You might be an asset to him, but he is not an asset to you if he lies to you about his reasons for leaving his ex. What do you see in such a manipulator and liar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago."

This is off. My DH was married twice before. He's a 6-figure salary earner, as am I. His XW was low maintenance at first because she was just glad he'd agreed to marry and financially support her. Somehow, without a college degree, she was living a UMC lifestyle, thanks to him. But you can't take a woman like that around your 6-figure people and not be embarrassed. She couldn't trade travel stories with them. She wasn't pleasant when they got home after an evening of her feeling intimidated by them. She felt inadequate and would beg to leave as soon as they got there because she knew she was out of her element. He loves that his colleagues, bosses, friends, family are impressed by my education and career, and that they think I'm super interesting and fun. I'm an asset to his career, and I help smooth over any issues with his family. I make his life 10X easier in this respect, whereas his XW was a liability.

And let me tell you, I can't be on the ball at my 8am meeting with an important client if I was up at 3am. A SAHM, OTOH, or someone with an easy job can do that every other night of the week.

He knows that I love him and want to be with him as a choice. I don't need his money or contacts to live the posh life I've built for myself. Does that mean he has to stay on his toes and make sure that I keep wanting to stay? Hell yes, just like I do for him. He knows that I have standards and expectations and that he needs to meet them. Neither of us "needs" the other. We're committed, but nobody is staying because we need the other's gravy train. Do you get how freeing that is? It means that he KNOWS that if I'm there, it's because I sincerely and authentically want him around. I'm not tolerating him and pretending to be low maintenance just because I need access to his Platinum card, since I've got my own. You might think that's the sort of woman you want. And you might find a woman who is great at pretending that she has no needs. But everyone has needs. She's just stuffing hers down so that you'll keep her around.

DP. Yet men leave women like you everyday for women like your DH's ex and vice versa. He lied to you. You might be an asset to him, but he is not an asset to you if he lies to you about his reasons for leaving his ex. What do you see in such a manipulator and liar?

It’s really the same thing - what makes my life comfortable, what’s the thing that gets me respect from other men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
53 year old man here. Divorced. 3 kids.
My answers to your questions reflect the views of most men I talk to.

What do you actually want? Like in life, in relationships, all of
Peace. That is the entire answer. That is it. Every single man over the age of 25 wants peace. Not excitement. Not drama. Not somebody to challenge him. Not somebody to keep him on his toes. Peace.

How can women make things better for you?
Women can make things better by accepting men as they are, rather than attempting to fix them. Stop trying to improve him. Stop trying to make him a better man. The entire rest of the world is already doing that. His boss. His competitors. The bill collector. Every single person he meets every single day is telling him he is not good enough. If you are the woman in his life your only job is to be the one person that thinks he is good enough right now. That is it. That is the thing no other human being on earth can give him.

What makes you feel respected or valued?
Respect is not telling me you love me. Respect is not cooking me dinner. Respect is when you disagree with me, but you never embarrass me in front of other people. Respect is when another man comes at me, you do not stand there neutral. Respect is when you do not run and tell every single one of your girlfriends and your mom every single complaint you have about me.

Love is optional. Respect is mandatory. A man will leave a woman that loves him but does not respect him 100 times out of 100. He will stay with a woman that respects him and does not love him long before the reverse.

What do you want from the woman you’re with?
Loyalty. Not fidelity. Loyalty. Fidelity is the smallest part of loyalty. Loyalty means you are on my team. First. Before everybody else. Before your friends. Before your family. Before your feelings.

What kind of woman do you actually want to date?
The number one most attractive trait a woman can have is low maintenance. Not low maintenance financially. Low maintenance emotionally.
A man that has his stuff together does not care about your degree. He does not care about your job. He does not care about your 6 figure salary. He does not care how many countries you have been to. What he cares about is: Are you pleasant to be around. Can I bring you around my people and not be embarrassed. Can I go to sleep and know you are not going to wake me up at 3am to have an argument about something that happened 3 years ago. That is it.

Do you think men are devalued right now?
Absolutely. Undeniably. Men have always been disposable. That is not new. For 100 thousand years men were the ones that went to fight the tiger. We were the ones that went to war. What is new is that now men are disposable and unappreciated. Before, if you went and fought the tiger, if you worked 60 hours a week, society would at least say thank you. Now you do all that exact same stuff, and you are told you are the problem. You are told you are privileged. You are told you are not doing enough.

There is no reward. There is no respect. There is no gratitude. And then everybody acts surprised that men are checking out. That men don't want to get married anymore. That men are going their own way. Why would they? What is in it for him?

Now you can be mad. You can go call me a misogynist. But not a single one of you will say I lied.

I don't agree with everything you said, but I have heard it before from men in my circle.

In my circle, middle aged men working 60 hours/wk are in charge. Far from being constantly told that they aren’t good enough, they are frequently told that they are better than they are.

I think this guy sounds like a narcissist. He doesn’t care about his wife’s (or any woman’s?) job and her six figure salary AT ALL, but he wants everyone to act like his job is equivalent to fighting a TIGER? Really?

Yeah. I think you sound like a misogynist and a nightmare to the women in your office. I can’t imagine being a young woman telling you that I need to take off for a maternity leave. I mean, here you are out there fighting tigers and being constantly criticized and getting no gratitude from society, and some woman is asking you for time off!?!

Spot on. White men love nothing more than complaining about every other group playing victim but they have the market cornered. Most delusional people ever.