Wife is trying to “optimize” future kids’ birth months.

[Anonymous]

Many good points here and I too, probably have thought too deeply about this issue. Where I'm from the school cutoffs are different and so my opinions changed when I moved here but I also consider boring, dreary months to be good months for bdays because it's something to look forward to. That being said, my winter babies are MAD because we could never have an outdoor party and had to worry about snow delays.

[Anonymous]

No man pays that much attention.
I have January kids. Didn't plan. It was fine staying inside couple of weeks.
My kids don't like the attention of birthday parties at school. One is so early and the other gets away with it somehow as teacher is too busy when returning from a break.

[Anonymous]

WTF? This is insane and so utterly stupid. None of that matters. Does she have anxiety generally? Does she expect to control every aspect of your children’s lives? Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants lots of kids? How many?

Yes, five.

How old is she? It might just be temporary immaturity.

She’s 24.

When and where it was normal for women to have babies at that age, it was also normal to not listen to their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this is nuts because even a young healthy fully fertile person has about a 1/3 chance of getting pregnant their first month. Even timing ovulation and everything.

One of my kids was first try, one I tried for 6 months, miscarried and then unexpectedly got pregnant with my second kid almost immediately after miscarrying. You just can't control this stuff.

My friends who have talked to it have had anywhere from right away to almost 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry this lunatic?

+1 she sounds utterly insufferable.

I meant the question literally. Why is her behavior unexpected? Is it a sudden change in personality?

[Anonymous]

The only people I know who think this much about this topic are teachers. I know many of us try to time our births to maximize our time off with the baby. I had mine in mid April which meant I didn't have to return to school that school year. I had off from mid April until late August.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only people I know who think this much about this topic are teachers. I know many of us try to time our births to maximize our time off with the baby. I had mine in mid April which meant I didn't have to return to school that school year. I had off from mid April until late August.

My sister in law is an accountant and she and my brother basically just tried to avoid having kids during tax season. But avoiding is way more doable than dictating.

[Anonymous]

No broke boys

[Anonymous]

There are pros and cons to each month. For anyone who is really into complaining about their birth month, it says more about them than that it's inherently a "bad" month.

Also, remember that the pros and cons can change throughout your life. I didn't always love my summer birthday when I was a kid because I always wanted to be able to take cupcakes into school. But now that my kids are college age I love my summer birthday because they're actually home then and I can celebrate with them.

In the kindest way possible, I do hope that your wife can get established with a therapist during pregnancy and have someone to check in with regularly after the baby is born. Maybe look for someone with cognitive behavioral training who specializes in working with new moms, if you can find someone like that. It is VERY easy for this type of thinking to tip into something more serious postpartum. Also consider researching a doula/lactation consultant/night nurse -- anyone to help with the newborn period and to give Mom a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you listened, absorbed, and then typed all this out. Or that I sat here and scanned through it. This is mental illness that should be treated. Also she might learn real fast that a healthy pregnancy is a gift not a guarantee and sometimes you just have to take the month that it happens. Wow.

Very much agree with this. OCD, control issues, magical thinking... Let's get a psychologist to weight in.

Delusion people don't get to make the decisions! Btdt.

[Anonymous]

Hubris.

[Anonymous]

At first, my DH wanted to game out zodiac signs but then we had infertility and were happy to take the embryo transfer dates the clinic assigned us! I think it's not insane to think you can plan, but: "Man plans, and God laughs."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wants lots of kids? How many?

Yes, five.

How old is she? It might just be temporary immaturity.

She’s 24.

When and where it was normal for women to have babies at that age, it was also normal to not listen to their opinions.

24 is a normal age to get married and have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Lol this is why sometimes I can believe that there is a loving God who will allow tragedies to happen because people need to be humbled and grow up. I bet your wife would not be worrying about any of this if you guys struggled to conceive, had miscarriages, or if she had gone through any other hardships in life really. Sounds like she has had a sheltered and predictable life. Enjoy it while it lasts.