Wife is trying to “optimize” future kids’ birth months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds immature and exhausting. Your poor fetus.

This. Very immature.. Yikes!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe you listened, absorbed, and then typed all this out. Or that I sat here and scanned through it. This is mental illness that should be treated. Also she might learn real fast that a healthy pregnancy is a gift not a guarantee and sometimes you just have to take the month that it happens. Wow.

+10000

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you marry this lunatic?

This. There had to have been signs.

She's also majority projecting her mental health into her future kids.


This is something you can't control as much as you like to think you can.

It's going to be miserable parenting with her and your kids will hate your control, likely develop anxiety disorders be rebellious and cut you off in adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Also she's really high risk for post partum depression, anxiety and maybe psychosis so watch out for that and speak up. Shell also be rigid about breastfeeding speak up if your child is not being fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:+1 This is crazy and not something you can plan for.

Just came in here to say that January is just fine. The child will be towards the older/middle end of the class which is good for maturity, sports, test scores etc. January birthdays also make it easy to count years as they line up with the calendar year.

Speaking from experience, January is worse than Christmas even. People are completely partied out by January. Kids don’t need a single toy whatsoever after Christmas. Not a great time to even vacation. Maybe end of January might be a bit nicer but January 4 was the worst. As an adult, friends can’t even celebrate because they’re all on diets and not drinking alcohol even in January.

When I needed things in summer like a new bike, summer clothes or swim gear, there wasn’t a gift giving holiday near that. My sibling had a June birthday and got all that stuff for birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Playing along here- September and October are obviously the best birth months (unless you are in one of those weird school systems with a 9/30 cut off, but most are 9/1). Good weather, get to be one of the oldest in both school AND most sports, and not competing with any other major holidays or celebrations. December and January are, IMO, obviously the worst because you're competing with Christmas lead-up and then Christmas fatigue, and your kid doesn't need any additional gifts a week before or a week after Christmas, and no one can come to their party in December and everyone has some sort of gross illness in January.

Summer birthdays also suck because you can't celebrate them in school, no one can come to your parties, and you're the youngest.

Spring birthdays are ok but you're still one of the youngest.

That being said, if your wife gets pregnant in Jan (for an Oct baby), miscarries in March... is she going to wait until December to even try getting pregnant again, and then stop trying in March? And what if she tries for an October baby but it's born 2 months early? I mean.... sounds like she could use some serious anxiety meds

[Anonymous]

My kids have birthdays in May and July and it's nice because it's far enough away from Christmas that they can get summer-y toys and clothes for gifts too. July is tough because he's the youngest in his class, but he also gets to have a pool party and it's a nice excuse to see friends over the summer that he otherwise might not see until fall.

[Anonymous]

Motherhood is really going to rock her. Be prepared to help her reckon with that.

[Anonymous]

I very purposely planned my first kid for right after I finished a 2-year job contract so that I could take a maternity leave. I didn't want to have to wait a whole year to qualify for FMLA under a new job. It all worked out with my due date being 5 days after I finished that contract. I delivered just a couple days overdue. I started the new job with a 5-month-old. Perfect timing.

With my second I knew what gap I wanted between my two kids and I chose to have a spring baby so that I could have lovely weather for my maternity leave. That also worked out as planned. I delivered on my due date. Exactly as planned.

I have an early January birthday and think it's the absolute worst so was sure to make sure I didn't get pregnant with a December or January due date. That also worked out.

Yes it's a bit ridiculous being able to plan these things but it worked out that way for me. I'm a planner anyways and saw no problem with trying to see if I could get the timing I preferred. I do not have anxiety and was not anxious over it. It was just a preference and there was no harm in trying. If it hadn't worked I would have kept trying and would have had a baby at a different time. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids have birthdays in May and July and it's nice because it's far enough away from Christmas that they can get summer-y toys and clothes for gifts too. July is tough because he's the youngest in his class, but he also gets to have a pool party and it's a nice excuse to see friends over the summer that he otherwise might not see until fall.

Having a birthday in the spring is great for getting summer/warm weather clothes and other items (sporting goods for warm weather sports, for instance). It counterbalances Christmas which is a good time to give someone a sweater or coat, ski gear, etc.

My husband loves when I buy him clothes and it's often the top of his list for Christmas but his birthday is in mid-August and it's just a dumb time to buy clothes because the warm season is more than half over at that point, but he's still months from being able to wear a sweater.

As a result he often gets more gifts for Father's Day than his birthday. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

My first was a surprise (100 percent unplanned, best surprise ever) born in mid December. It’s not what I would have picked, mostly because I was so stressed about illness the first few months of my maternity leave I sort of pulled away from people. I think I had mild PPD so who knows. My second is late February and that has worked well for everything except birthday parties. I am just glad we are all healthy, so little is in our control

[Anonymous]

Not reading the whole thing but we were 2 for 2 conceiving on the first "try" so I guess it's possible in our N=1. We didn't care about the birth month.

[Anonymous]

I hope the sex is at least good. Otherwise, good grief.

[Anonymous]

As someone who had 3 miscarriages and 2 healthy babies, I think that any month is a great month to have a baby! After the birth? The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.