So many mistakes. So much disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

So you are talking 200k difference. About 170k if she takes out the full government student loan amounts per year. If she only got 20k in grants from a top ten school, then you guys should be able to afford to the extra 170k. I think you should try to make that happen for her. A top ten could offer life changing career opportunities.

Also, try to negotiate the aid.

The fact that you are downplaying $170,000 is insane. Guilting a parent into spending $170,000 more they she can afford is how we ended up with the student loan crisis.

[Anonymous]

How clueless and rigid is this kid? How did she not know you don't have money?
12- year old knows to go to instate and work at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her be sad then sit down to explore if it is remotely possible to make the T10 school work. Is she willing to help with the cost by working summer? Honestly, I work full time at a professional office job and I would likely get a part time job to make this happen for my child if I had to.

This.

[Anonymous]

This is a brilliant troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely a troll post. These schools don’t fly you out to visit for free unless you are really poor. (And even questionable is at all for admitted student day visits). 20k in need based aid at T10 is not poor.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a brilliant troll post.

I think it ie quite transparent actually. The OP should not have started with a “T10” that has already released nonbinding decisions. Would have been easier to believe if she said T25 because at least there are a few options that fit the description and yet do not provide much aid. OP is quite wealthy to get the relatively small amount of aid from the narrow group of schools this would have to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a brilliant troll post.

I think it ie quite transparent actually. The OP should not have started with a “T10” that has already released nonbinding decisions. Would have been easier to believe if she said T25 because at least there are a few options that fit the description and yet do not provide much aid. OP is quite wealthy to get the relatively small amount of aid from the narrow group of schools this would have to be.

Title is wrong too, would have gone more subtle.

[Anonymous]

Yes. you and your daughter are entitled snobs. That’s what you did wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means you take vacation locally for four years instead of Tahiti or Hawaii.

You seriously think OP is spending 50k/yr on vacations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means you take vacation locally for four years instead of Tahiti or Hawaii.

This is so effed up. You sound privileged out of your mind.

We have taken vacations for under $2,000 because we’re on that kind of budget. Taking a local vacation does not close the budgetary gap to an elite education.

Can you even imagine families who can’t afford vacations that still have brilliant children who want elite educations?

- A double HYP grad married to a double HYP grad, who both work for nonprofits

What do you mean you’ve “taken vacations“ that have been under 2000? Does that mean that that is how you vacation or there’s been a one off type of instance where you’ve done this? If two people are working for nonprofits and they can’t afford more than $2000 for vacations, they’re either strictly saving a significant amount of money or would be considered low enough income that they would have significant financial help from institutions

Your math isn’t mathing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loans.

No don't. It's undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Name the school or we're done here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

The difference is only 50k!

Of course she can work part time to pay for the difference. Waitress, tutoring, etc. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to earn 50k per year.

If you are willing to pay additional 10k, that really helps.

OP, I’m sorry you are getting weird belligerent responses like the one above.

Did she only apply to 3 schools? For engineering I would not take out $200k+ in loans.

Do your local school and then see about transferring. Or the one that puts a bad taste in your mouth, assuming you can afford it.

OP here. Thank you for your kind response. I agree that an engineering degree cannot justify 200K in loans.

I’ve talked to her about potentially transferring schools after two years. She wasn’t open to the idea. I think she just needs some time to be sad.

Let her be sad, but absolutely do not take out loans. Maybe she will be mad at you for not saving more for her, but ultimately she will be glad to not be saddled with debt after graduation, trying to buy a house, start a family, etc.

Another possible option would be ROTC. Does this top10 school have ROTC? While it might be too late to get a scholarship through the national pool, she can make contact with that school’s ROTC recruiting officer, show interest, and he/she will tell her what her options are moving forward. I did ROTC (and it paid for all of my tuition), and there were plenty of kids that started freshman year with no scholarship, started the process first semester and had retroactive 4 yr scholarships by the end of the year. Maybe not her cup of tea, but a good way to go to the school you want, get tuition paid, and not have debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Indeed we must make decisions based on what we can afford and feel is a good value. Just because some of us can pay these exorbitant amounts, allowing our friends and neighbors to not have to (and be flown out to visit on our dime, no less), doesn’t mean we will choose to. Especially after saving, skipping vacations, and making tough choices around career, education, and family. What a genuine scam and redistribution of wealth higher ed has become!

Higher Ed as a “scam and redistribution of wealth” - interesting point. It does too often seem like universities playing with other people’s money. I doubt they are making those decisions with the same consideration, work, sacrifice and adult lifetime it took to make that money they freely spend. It’s like Vegas, though - they have very willing patrons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to be fair to OP, my kid got into HYP and we got about 10k in aid, appealed and got nothing more. they're not THAT generous. we make 300k live in nyc where taxes are 40%+. We have 3 kids. we live in a 3 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. we can't pay 75k after tax a year.

Holy crap. I hear about that in passing but ouch!