So many mistakes. So much disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Indeed we must make decisions based on what we can afford and feel is a good value. Just because some of us can pay these exorbitant amounts, allowing our friends and neighbors to not have to (and be flown out to visit on our dime, no less), doesn’t mean we will choose to. Especially after saving, skipping vacations, and making tough choices around career, education, and family. What a genuine scam and redistribution of wealth higher ed has become!

[Anonymous]

Let her be sad then sit down to explore if it is remotely possible to make the T10 school work. Is she willing to help with the cost by working summer? Honestly, I work full time at a professional office job and I would likely get a part time job to make this happen for my child if I had to.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned three schools - a T10, a T50 and a T150. Surely she applied to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

The difference is only 50k!

Of course she can work part time to pay for the difference. Waitress, tutoring, etc. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to earn 50k per year.

If you are willing to pay additional 10k, that really helps.

OP, I’m sorry you are getting weird belligerent responses like the one above.

Did she only apply to 3 schools? For engineering I would not take out $200k+ in loans.

Do your local school and then see about transferring. Or the one that puts a bad taste in your mouth, assuming you can afford it.

OP here. Thank you for your kind response. I agree that an engineering degree cannot justify 200K in loans.

I’ve talked to her about potentially transferring schools after two years. She wasn’t open to the idea. I think she just needs some time to be sad.

Before you turn down the school because it's too expensive, you should reach out and let them know that cost is a problem and that is why you cannot accept at the moment. See if they cough up more money. They might if they really want her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

The difference is only 50k!

Of course she can work part time to pay for the difference. Waitress, tutoring, etc. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to earn 50k per year.

If you are willing to pay additional 10k, that really helps.

OP, I’m sorry you are getting weird belligerent responses like the one above.

Did she only apply to 3 schools? For engineering I would not take out $200k+ in loans.

Do your local school and then see about transferring. Or the one that puts a bad taste in your mouth, assuming you can afford it.

OP here. Thank you for your kind response. I agree that an engineering degree cannot justify 200K in loans.

I’ve talked to her about potentially transferring schools after two years. She wasn’t open to the idea. I think she just needs some time to be sad.

Before you turn down the school because it's too expensive, you should reach out and let them know that cost is a problem and that is why you cannot accept at the moment. See if they cough up more money. They might if they really want her.

No T10 will cough up an extra 50k per year like this.

[Anonymous]

Pls disclose the school your kid is desperate the attend that: “The school keeps sending letters and packages.”

Among my kids, there are 20+ acceptances and I have never seen this, inc from an ivy and ivy+. We got acceptance letters, a shirt from one (not one of the highly ranked ones), and then after the deposit at one we got a “to do” list. That’s about it. Ivy acceptance was 3 months ago and other than a single sheet acceptance letter, no “keep sending of packages and letters.”

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It means you take vacation locally for four years instead of Tahiti or Hawaii.

This is so effed up. You sound privileged out of your mind.

We have taken vacations for under $2,000 because we’re on that kind of budget. Taking a local vacation does not close the budgetary gap to an elite education.

Can you even imagine families who can’t afford vacations that still have brilliant children who want elite educations?

- A double HYP grad married to a double HYP grad, who both work for nonprofits

[Anonymous]

This is probably a good life lesson and maybe a motivator. Some things are too expensive (T10 school). You don't always get what you apply for (T50 scholarship). The state flagship sounds like a decent option, and the price is right. I wouldn't beat yourself up about this too much. You were upfront about the cost. If she didn't apply, she probably would have wondered if she could have gotten in. If she goes to the flagship and likes it, this will probably eventually be a blip on the radar. Concentrate on co-ops and internships that will help her in getting to where she wants to be after graduation.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have the money, what is the issue? Do not take out parent loans. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means you take vacation locally for four years instead of Tahiti or Hawaii.

This is so effed up. You sound privileged out of your mind.

We have taken vacations for under $2,000 because we’re on that kind of budget. Taking a local vacation does not close the budgetary gap to an elite education.

Can you even imagine families who can’t afford vacations that still have brilliant children who want elite educations?

- A double HYP grad married to a double HYP grad, who both work for nonprofits

What do you mean you’ve “taken vacations“ that have been under 2000? Does that mean that that is how you vacation or there’s been a one off type of instance where you’ve done this? If two people are working for nonprofits and they can’t afford more than $2000 for vacations, they’re either strictly saving a significant amount of money or would be considered low enough income that they would have significant financial help from institutions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pls disclose the school your kid is desperate the attend that: “The school keeps sending letters and packages.”

Among my kids, there are 20+ acceptances and I have never seen this, inc from an ivy and ivy+. We got acceptance letters, a shirt from one (not one of the highly ranked ones), and then after the deposit at one we got a “to do” list. That’s about it. Ivy acceptance was 3 months ago and other than a single sheet acceptance letter, no “keep sending of packages and letters.”

Troll

Notre Dame has been sending things regularly since December to my accepted DD. Letters from current students, department chairs, a tshirt, etc. I assume it’s because they’re REA so they don’t have anyone locked in by ED. Maybe OP is in an REA situation too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Flagship ranking is around 150. She got a scholarship so cost is 5K tuition plus housing (10K). 15K total.

T10 school. She got 20K in financial aid which would bring tuition down to 50K. Housing is about 15K. 65K total.

Engineering major.

We did not let DC apply to $$$ places that do not give merit. But $65K is within spitting distance of what some instate colleges are (we are in VA). For “only” $65 K to go to a T10 j would do loans and make it happen.

[Anonymous]

OP, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but a few things sound off. Only mentioning a T10, T50 and T150, fly-in's are for the truly needy, and "lots of letters and packages."

[Anonymous]

I had a similar choice (not top 10 but highly ranked liberal arts school) and chose the flagship. My adult life without student loans has been so much less stressful without student loans and I can only imagine that would be more so with the shaky job market now.

Learning fiscal responsibility is a huge asset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It means you take vacation locally for four years instead of Tahiti or Hawaii.

This is so effed up. You sound privileged out of your mind.

We have taken vacations for under $2,000 because we’re on that kind of budget. Taking a local vacation does not close the budgetary gap to an elite education.

Can you even imagine families who can’t afford vacations that still have brilliant children who want elite educations?

- A double HYP grad married to a double HYP grad, who both work for nonprofits

Only trust fund kids work for non-profits. You can get a real job...