Petty vent- hate my dh on snow days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

I see so much exaggeration in your post that I can't take it seriously. He didn't spend three hours on the toilet, and you know it.

It sounds to me like he took care of the kids. He took them out to play in the snow and fed them (you don't say what "lunch" was, but it involved plates, so it must have been something).

You were either actually working or monitoring him. But he wouldn't be the first person hearding kids to leave a kitchen a mess. And so he didn't put wet snow clothes in the dryer (and wtf is a "boot dryer" anyway?) but whatever. He was feeding them lunch.

You sound like you're wound too tight. You have kids. They're messy. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many women deal with lazy husbands like this.

So glad I’m no longer married. It’s just me and the kids and even at grade school age they are pretty self sufficient and a blast. No more dead weight to manage.

My awesome boyfriend came out and finished digging us out. I made us all lunch and then he was on his way.

I can see why he dumped you. You sound like a twat.

[Anonymous]

Did you say any of this to him?

[Anonymous]

Men need supervision. Ask him- did you dry the wet snow gear, can you tell poopoo puppy outside again now, can you clean up the lunch plates- you are the ring master in the circus that is your house. He is the clown. The kids are the monkeys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

Snow days don’t suck. Your husband sucks!

[Anonymous]

Mine was like this Monday too. I got up, made hot breakfast, did two loads of laundry, got dinner into the crock pot and cleaned the whole kitchen all while he was still sleeping and then pooping. Then he comes down and is annoyed I’m not coming out to shovel with him. It’s not like he was helping me the past 3 hours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hire the person above

I am actually super-duper organized. I posted my blizzard checklist on another thread.

Good Wife/Mom Points - I hired out the snow shoveling and all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc was done before the storm hit. We were sorted if we had lost electricity.

Here is the thing - my DH is a very good DH and my kids are good kids. They are motivated and successful in most other parts of their life. I manage for those occasions where their executive functioning skill is not up to par, and I ignore the minor behavior quirks that I don't quite like.

If your husband is able to hold down a job, there’s no reason he can’t independently manage a snow day. You’re just making excuses for him.

Making excuses? Why?

I have zero problem being the planner, managing everything etc. My goal is to live a successful and good life with my loved ones. I am excellent at identifying issues, making detailed plans, outsourcing/delegating/doing the work, and checking up on the progress. My family is lucky to have me.

Most of my prep happened the week before the snowstorm. I was ready for being without electricity. Compared to all of that...this blizzard was tame.

You are the most self congratulatory person ever. I also was super prepared. It was still a long messy week. Lots of extra tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

I see so much exaggeration in your post that I can't take it seriously. He didn't spend three hours on the toilet, and you know it.

It sounds to me like he took care of the kids. He took them out to play in the snow and fed them (you don't say what "lunch" was, but it involved plates, so it must have been something).

You were either actually working or monitoring him. But he wouldn't be the first person hearding kids to leave a kitchen a mess. And so he didn't put wet snow clothes in the dryer (and wtf is a "boot dryer" anyway?) but whatever. He was feeding them lunch.

You sound like you're wound too tight. You have kids. They're messy. Get over it.

I love you. Are you a woman?

[Anonymous]

Putting snow clothes and boots in a dryer before going outside again is like the final boss of First World Problems. I’m glad you have the self-awareness to acknowledge that your vent is petty.

[Anonymous]

Porn addict? 3 hours on the toilet with his phone when the house is disgusting and you’re desperate for help doesn’t sound normal to me.

[Anonymous]

Is your husband out shoveling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

There’s a definite communication problem here. I told my DH that I am teleworking so he’s in charge, and that’s it. I go to my office and shit the door, come out at lunch, and then go back in til the day is over.

That being said, he parents differently than I do, and his standards of cleanliness are not the same as mine. But when he’s in charge, he gets to decide everything, and I don’t interfere. Like in the wet gear example, I know my DH would tell them they need to figure out how to play indoors rather than spend time drying snow gear.

+1. You let the other person make the parenting decision when you are not in charge and the other person and the family members they were in charge of reap the consequences. When kids come to you and ask for help because the other family member failed to think through something (like putting wet clothes in dryer), you just turn the kid around, say "I'm working and Dad is in charge today, ask him for help or figure out another plan on your own." I had days where I said, "unless someone is bleeding or there is a water leak, you need to hold your Q or problem until later or figure it out yourself."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

No.

I see so much exaggeration in your post that I can't take it seriously. He didn't spend three hours on the toilet, and you know it.

It sounds to me like he took care of the kids. He took them out to play in the snow and fed them (you don't say what "lunch" was, but it involved plates, so it must have been something).

You were either actually working or monitoring him. But he wouldn't be the first person hearding kids to leave a kitchen a mess. And so he didn't put wet snow clothes in the dryer (and wtf is a "boot dryer" anyway?) but whatever. He was feeding them lunch.

You sound like you're wound too tight. You have kids. They're messy. Get over it.

I love you. Are you a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

No.

I see so much exaggeration in your post that I can't take it seriously. He didn't spend three hours on the toilet, and you know it.

It sounds to me like he took care of the kids. He took them out to play in the snow and fed them (you don't say what "lunch" was, but it involved plates, so it must have been something).

You were either actually working or monitoring him. But he wouldn't be the first person hearding kids to leave a kitchen a mess. And so he didn't put wet snow clothes in the dryer (and wtf is a "boot dryer" anyway?) but whatever. He was feeding them lunch.

You sound like you're wound too tight. You have kids. They're messy. Get over it.

I love you. Are you a woman?

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife divorced me because I was working too many hours for too many years. She was lonely! But when I was present, I truly was. There were just not enough of those days. When we had storms, I was up by 6:30 am shoveling, walking the dog, etc.

Am I worse than your husband? Of course I am subjectively claiming that it was the only issue in our marriage. My ex wife would probably differ.

Having said that a lot of women on this forum are still married to men like OP's DH. I guess the bigger an ass**e you are, the more they owe you around.

I think there’s no chance your ex wife would say that’s why she divorced you. That’s the most self serving, delusional thing I have ever read. “I was a great husband, I just worked too many hours!” People amaze me.