Petty vent- hate my dh on snow days

[Anonymous]

I’m stuck on the boot dryer thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m stuck on the boot dryer thing.

We just put the snowboots over the floor air-vents. It usually dries up very quickly because it is waterproof material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

I find that hard to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hire the person above

I am actually super-duper organized. I posted my blizzard checklist on another thread.

Good Wife/Mom Points - I hired out the snow shoveling and all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc was done before the storm hit. We were sorted if we had lost electricity.

Here is the thing - my DH is a very good DH and my kids are good kids. They are motivated and successful in most other parts of their life. I manage for those occasions where their executive functioning skill is not up to par, and I ignore the minor behavior quirks that I don't quite like.

If your husband is able to hold down a job, there’s no reason he can’t independently manage a snow day. You’re just making excuses for him.

Making excuses? Why?

I have zero problem being the planner, managing everything etc. My goal is to live a successful and good life with my loved ones. I am excellent at identifying issues, making detailed plans, outsourcing/delegating/doing the work, and checking up on the progress. My family is lucky to have me.

Most of my prep happened the week before the snowstorm. I was ready for being without electricity. Compared to all of that...this blizzard was tame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is petty but I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days. He’s normally helpful. Today his work was closed, but I had to telework, kids school was closed.

He acts like a child on snow days. He slept in until 10am, spent 3 hours on the toilet (cumulatively) on his phone, hours on his laptop after, fed the kids “lunch” but left plates everywhere. The puppy needs extra help forcing her to go outside in snow so she repeatedly pooped everywhere indoors. The kids bugged me nonstop for help with their snow gear, waters and snacks. They were all upset their snow gear hadn’t been dried during lunch and was wet when they tried to go back out (he hadn’t put it in the dryer or boot dryer). You can’t believe the mess that is my house right now.

Im sure the kids will be off school all week and I’ll get zero work done and will need to take leave, so this was my only chance. He’ll likely have to drive to work tomorrow and leave me alone. I’m just angry. Friday I took annual leave because the kids school was closed and the house was immaculate when he came home.

Anyone else annoyed? Snow days suck.

I find that hard to believe.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many women deal with lazy husbands like this.

So glad I’m no longer married. It’s just me and the kids and even at grade school age they are pretty self sufficient and a blast. No more dead weight to manage.

My awesome boyfriend came out and finished digging us out. I made us all lunch and then he was on his way.

You know, it is not the flex that you think it is. You had kids with that dead weight and now are divorced with custody. You are paying for snow-shoveling with sex and sandwich, to a man who is not the father of your children.

You can pay $100 to someone to shovel your snow. It is not so deep.

[Anonymous]

I hope he cleaned the snow. Did he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what’s the conversation you’re going to have with him? Venting and whining are just a waste of time if you’re never going to actually communicate to your spouse about it. Then you’re just a martyr, and that’s not attractive.

OP isn't here to solve problems. OP is here to vent / complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m stuck on the boot dryer thing.

I bought one at Aldi a couple years ago for $20. It’s the size of a shoebox and folds for easy storage. It’s a game changer for gloves and boots.

But that’s getting away from the original topic, which is that OP’s husband is a lazy git and that OP has a martyr complex because she refuses to use her words and allows him to get away with this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what’s the conversation you’re going to have with him? Venting and whining are just a waste of time if you’re never going to actually communicate to your spouse about it. Then you’re just a martyr, and that’s not attractive.

OP isn't here to solve problems. OP is here to vent / complain.

Clearly. Maintaining martyr status is a job in and of itself. Keep on, OP. Hopefully the splinters from the cross you’ve built yourself won’t get in the way of typing your next “petty vent.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what’s the conversation you’re going to have with him? Venting and whining are just a waste of time if you’re never going to actually communicate to your spouse about it. Then you’re just a martyr, and that’s not attractive.

OP isn't here to solve problems. OP is here to vent / complain.

And then keeps popping up in responses to defend him. "Oh, he's not that bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hire the person above

I am actually super-duper organized. I posted my blizzard checklist on another thread.

Good Wife/Mom Points - I hired out the snow shoveling and all the cooking, cleaning, laundry etc was done before the storm hit. We were sorted if we had lost electricity.

Here is the thing - my DH is a very good DH and my kids are good kids. They are motivated and successful in most other parts of their life. I manage for those occasions where their executive functioning skill is not up to par, and I ignore the minor behavior quirks that I don't quite like.

If your husband is able to hold down a job, there’s no reason he can’t independently manage a snow day. You’re just making excuses for him.

Making excuses? Why?

I have zero problem being the planner, managing everything etc. My goal is to live a successful and good life with my loved ones. I am excellent at identifying issues, making detailed plans, outsourcing/delegating/doing the work, and checking up on the progress. My family is lucky to have me.

Most of my prep happened the week before the snowstorm. I was ready for being without electricity. Compared to all of that...this blizzard was tame.

Dang sounds like you love yourself too much, and are always stressed out. I am sure you are not very good company.

[Anonymous]

OP: "He’s normally helpful. I am excellent at identifying issues, making detailed plans, outsourcing/delegating/doing the work, and checking up on the progress. "

Also OP: "I hate my husband. I just have so much rage against my dh on snow days."


I find it hard to believe all it takes is snow to bring things from helpful/excellent/zero problem to hate and rage. I would see a doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife divorced me because I was working too many hours for too many years. She was lonely! But when I was present, I truly was. There were just not enough of those days. When we had storms, I was up by 6:30 am shoveling, walking the dog, etc.

Am I worse than your husband? Of course I am subjectively claiming that it was the only issue in our marriage. My ex wife would probably differ.

Having said that a lot of women on this forum are still married to men like OP's DH. I guess the bigger an ass**e you are, the more they owe you around.

Maybe your ex divorced you because you make everything about you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope he cleaned the snow. Did he?

OP here- he did clear the snow on Sunday.