Private consultants reality check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two kids at Ivies. No private consultants. Small sample but parents of kids at Ivies - from privates in DC, DMV publics, top privates in NYC, etc.- also no private consultants. Used available resources online, podcasts, etc.

I know at our NYC private many kids getting into ivies have private consultants. I have an older kid and only learnt about this in senior year. Once in college many probably dont want to discuss or admit to having private consultants. Also, many parents dont have the time to go through podcasts etc and decide to outsource. In the end, its either the parent or a consultant helping with the process.

[Anonymous]

Many, many people use "Essay Editors" - hired in the spring of junior year. Usually spending 5-10k or more on that if applying to 10-15 "reach" schools.

Very few that we know (non-DMV private) hire the college counselor types - either solo or the big names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two kids at Ivies. No private consultants. Small sample but parents of kids at Ivies - from privates in DC, DMV publics, top privates in NYC, etc.- also no private consultants. Used available resources online, podcasts, etc.

I know at our NYC private many kids getting into ivies have private consultants. I have an older kid and only learnt about this in senior year. Once in college many probably dont want to discuss or admit to having private consultants. Also, many parents dont have the time to go through podcasts etc and decide to outsource. In the end, its either the parent or a consultant helping with the process.

I agree. I had the time and interest, so i was the fully engaged parent and guided my own kid. But all of my kid's friends at our private hired private counselors. The kids all know. Friends would tell my kid "my counselor recommended this summer program, recommended this research,...etc". Just be aware that private counselors dont have any super powers and tips/strategies can be easily found through free resources. My kid got into an ivy and we did it on our own, but we were involved. We also have an easy going kid who is receptive to guidance/feedback so it wasnt difficult. I do get the appeal of hiring third party to drive the process, but I think parents know their kids best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?

We didn't use a consultant like this. Our consultant helped manage the application process, suggested a list of college, and made light suggestions such as do some volunteer work. That said, I myself took an active role in both kids' development. I'm not a college pro, but I am a smart person who went to an elite college and did my research.

[Anonymous]

Depending on your kid, I’m a fan of hiring someone to help with essays, application deadlines, and discussion of options. But I cannot imagine the level of pressure put on the kids the OP describes. Putting kids through years of planning, strategizing, tailoring, etc may pay off for some, but my heart breaks for kids who inevitably feel like failures because they don’t get into a T10, or whatever school they have been aiming for for years.

One of my kid’s friends spent a LOT of time doing test prep, etc. He missed a lot of social opportunities in high school because his parents were hell bent for him to get T10(and he was mostly on board). He ended up at a T30, but says in retrospect that he probably would have gotten in anyway. Just having the kids know that they are being socially engineered in this way seems like setting a majority of them up for regret.

[Anonymous]

Just want to chime in and suggest that those hiring outside consultants should understand who their individual contact will be. I have friends who hired big name/expensive consultants but their kid was assigned to a pretty junior person (who may leave during the process). Those families were often disappointed in their outcomes. Furthermore, some parents think they can outsource and walk away. Those families are also sometimes disappointed. You should know what the counselor provides/doesn't provide. Stay engaged, ask questions to make sure your kids school list, major and essay topics make sense and fit. Check out your hs school placement data to make sure private counselor recommendations are rational. We managed the process ourselves and did our own research. Yes, it took a lot of time but we felt in control of the process (not the putcome) and made decisions that seemed best for our kid. Thankfully our kid was accepted ED, but we had a great list and felt confident in a multitude of possible outcomes.

[Anonymous]

There’s no guarantee either way! We asked one of the big ones after 10th grade. He said he could help DD take her activities national. We said no because too $. DD was admitted to multiple HYPSM.

The next year, we did hire an essay consultant due to a very personal situation but after early rejection, I provided feedback for essay re-writes. That helped, but I had been closely following college stuff for over a year so I understood what essays were for. Essay consultant was pretty useless — a well-known one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Savvy parents who understand "narrative" can help their kids. I did it in reverse. Let them live their lives, and organize it into a "story" summer before senior year. Two at T10 school

+1.

[Anonymous]

Some people have xonsultants, some do not, either can and will get into top 50 schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Savvy parents who understand "narrative" can help their kids. I did it in reverse. Let them live their lives, and organize it into a "story" summer before senior year. Two at T10 school

+1.

Same here. Did it ourselves and didn't focus on college until 11th grade with class selection. Let them pick their own interests/majors based on what they love.
No pricey college consultant involved.
The only requirement was 1 in-school (non-sport) activity that could become a leadership role and 1 out-of-school interest/activity. Everything else - including specifics - up to them. Private HS. Great outcomes for kids, including multiple top 20 privates.

[Anonymous]

If your kid is at a large public school where the colllege counselors are overwhelmed or less knowledgeable about a wider range of colleges, I can see where hiring a private counselor can be a good investment. I can also see where it might be helpful for a kid who has specific needs - athletic recruit, service academy, art/music school, gap year, etc.

However, if your kids are at a smaller private schools, and if your kids are going through the “regular” college admissions process, I would give the school counselor(s) a chance. Talk to parents of older kids and see what their experience with the school counselors was like. The money saved by not hiring a private counselor can be used towards things like trips to visit colleges, SAT prep, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close friend who tends to be more savvy about these things told me over a holiday get-together she knows some families in our school who hire private consultants who plan the kids’ whole life since 7th grade: help them apply to or even write essays for summer programs, plan sports (plan competition schedule and travel if it’s an individual sport without team schedule, summer skill camps at Ivies), school club leadership (how to recruit members, plan highly visible activities, manage their Instagram to document large gatherings, accomplishments), all the way down to drafting weekly emails for the kid to send to coaches, professors and college tour guides, band leaders they met on tours or summer programs over 4 years to establish relationships in a strategic and unannoying way. These are all before helping them ace the SAT and write their application essays.

Another friend told me last year (she had older kids and know many parents who have been through the process in the past decade) private consultants are useless, that the ones she knew who use them are getting into T25-50 colleges after spending tens of thousands, but not the most selective ones, because the top ones see through the consultants’ finger prints all over an app.

So which is true? I know as with a lot of cases, the answer is “it depends”, perhaps a great consultant could do those things. We have zero plan to use one (we don’t even have a tutor!) but I’m so disheartened that DC who works so hard to get top grades, work so hard on weekends at his part time job is competing under these circumstances. If that’s true, I want to take my kids out of the game and just apply to Canada, which is where DH is from, where you shouldn’t have to play these games to get in.

Anyone BTDT has real insights?

It's like plastic surgeons. The really good ones know how to do subtle work.

[Anonymous]

I don't judge people who hire consultants or tutor their kids intensively. I did not and will not hire consultants, but am paying for tutoring and test prep. I feel more comfortable, given I have a great relationship with my children, doing the strategizing in-house, even though money is not an issue - it's just that I'm worried the consultant won't get my kid like I do. Maybe I'm wrong. I did consider it when DD was in 8th grade - doing the whole super-package. It didn't happen. Oh well.

Others can do what they want. Good luck to all.

[Anonymous]

I was the private consultant for my kids and did a better job than the college private consultant.

That's the power of an educated and savvy parent.

[Anonymous]

I know it’s kid and parent dependent. For us, we met with a couple consultants and ultimately decided against any of them. One consultant - after paying her 2k+ for one comprehensive session - said he should do things that were so trite and not what he wanted to do. I felt that I knew my kid the best, his strengths/weeknesses, passions…based on that I worked with him to cultivate a narrative. Different for each kid but for us, it paid off as he just got into a HYP.