Spouse Tags Along At Every Meeting and Conference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother went to medical conferences with my father because he was a recovering alcoholic and she wanted to make sure he didn’t drink. Guy may have a problem with booze, drugs or infidelity.

That doesn't mean you sit in on meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to say OP is a troll

+1

[Anonymous]

That’s so bizarre as to be unbelievable. Who on earth would go to conference meet and greets where they not only weren’t obligated to attend but were actively unwelcome? Madness!

[Anonymous]

How is she allowed to sit in on meetings? No way I'd have some random woman at our meeting with a vendor. We're talking about confidential information and have an NDA signed between our company and the vendor.. but his wife is not party to that, so she could in theory disclose that sensitive information.

[Anonymous]

I used to travel a ton with my boyfriend who was a law firm partner. He was traveling nonstop, I worked remotely, and frankly I could barely see him otherwise. And luckily he travelled to cool places out of the time (I did not go to the boring places - sorry hon!)

I never sat in on client meetings, and if a client was going to be at dinner or happy hour, I did not attend. if it was just a handful of other lawyers who worked with him and they weren't discussing work over dinner, I would attend. He was working a good ten to 12 hours a day and during that time, I entertained myself or worked remotely or took vacation days. Hotel pool, spa, sightsee, etc.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say anything. I’d be amused and wait for that shoe to drop! There might be some low key drama with wifey told to knock it off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother went to medical conferences with my father because he was a recovering alcoholic and she wanted to make sure he didn’t drink. Guy may have a problem with booze, drugs or infidelity.

This was my thought too, but I still think it’s super weird that she goes to client facing events, and only while traveling, which makes me think boss might have a history of infidelity.

I’d find this weird and awkward too op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d wonder whether the boss’s prior behavior has given his wife cause for concern and she comes along to keep an eye on him.

Or vice versa. Lots of commenters are making asssumptions about the wife. Maybe the husband is needy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.

But your concerns seem personal. You wish she wasn't there because you like your boss, he's a friend and colleague, you like spending time with him, and you don't like her - she's ruining the vibe. Note: this doesn't have to be nefarious or imply that you want to bang him. I think we all have friends whose company we prefer without their spouse, particularly if their spouse is a dud. But then call a spade a spade. You don't like her, and she makes these trips less pleasant for you.

That's a bummer, but also not a problem you should "fix" - the answer is to treat her warmly, be professional in professional settings, pleasant in less personal situations (like on the airplane) and excuse yourself when you tire of her.

Or go for the threesome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother went to medical conferences with my father because he was a recovering alcoholic and she wanted to make sure he didn’t drink. Guy may have a problem with booze, drugs or infidelity.

That is not the concern of the businesses involved. He should be let go from this responsibility he can't handle and get another job that doesn't require babysitting.

This.

[Anonymous]

I think it is odd and inappropriate.

I see no way of handling it, though, other than grine and bear it and even pretend to enjoy her if you can, or, if you can't, just ignore her.

[Anonymous]

Is your boss Pete Hegseth?

[Anonymous]

She doesn't asbt to be there. He's an addict or a cheater and shes grasping for any situational control she can. Its a horrible way to live.

[Anonymous]

Was just thinking...maybe SHE has an issue and cannot be left home alone?

[Anonymous]

OP here catching up on messages - thanks to all who took the time to respond to my message. I’m relieved to read I am not the only one who thinks this odd. I promise this is not a troll post, and I promise this is not because I am that interested in him personally or romantically or anything. It’s more a situational awkwardness. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why I was so uncomfortable with it, but I think the posters in this thread nailed it. There have been times we have met with clients and other people we are doing business with and - even though we are not attorneys so it’s not legal confidentiality - we are working with proprietary technical data and information and also some trade secrets. The fact that she was there made me uncomfortable for that reason as well as just the weird personal dynamic.