Helping 3rd grade girl "look cool" without compromising herself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought her a bunch of the flared leg yoga pants over the weekend as those appear to be really popular. We got a range of colors -- some muted naturals but also a couple in more fun colors since likes that.

But what to wear with it? Are there some patterns that are still cool? Not like Hanna or Boden style patterns but something a bit more grown up? Graphic tees? Anyone have ideas for graphic tee brands for this age group?

Just go to Target and see what the mannequins are wearing in the girls section for her age. Truly. You don’t have to figure out the style yourself. Just buy her the outfit that’s on the model, in colors she likes.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you put her hair in interesting braids or weave in some colored hair pieces?

Now is the time to have fun with cheap jewelry as long as they don't get in the way of play/learning. Lockets, friendship bracelets, etc.

But if other kids are actually saying her clothes are cheap and she's being called a baby, that's bullying and you should step in

Stop calling every natural behavior bullying, KAREN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought her a bunch of the flared leg yoga pants over the weekend as those appear to be really popular. We got a range of colors -- some muted naturals but also a couple in more fun colors since likes that.

But what to wear with it? Are there some patterns that are still cool? Not like Hanna or Boden style patterns but something a bit more grown up? Graphic tees? Anyone have ideas for graphic tee brands for this age group?

No patterns.
Also maybe ask your daughter .she def should be able to tell you.

[Anonymous]

what's "wrong" with Boden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is sad.

It really is. Therapist here. The actual answer to your question, OP, was way upthread: time for a new friend group.

It's natural for your daughter to want to blend in a bit, but looking to the cool kids to do that isn't the way. Take her shopping. Let her pick out what feels good to her visually, and feels comfy on her body. If her friends are teasing her for her choices of shoes, etc, that is a THEM problem, not a her problem.

Sounds like you adore your daughter and want her to be happy and loved as much as you love her. She will learn this through your support of her being herself, and learning that actual friends value her for qualities way deeper than wearing the "right" brands (which btw will change next week). Good luck - growing up is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://pixielane.com/

They have sales.

You really want to get the child teased. This stuff is awful.

[Anonymous]

OP needs therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what's "wrong" with Boden?

Literally nothing. This is moms projecting on other moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://pixielane.com/

They have sales.

You really want to get the child teased. This stuff is awful.

This brand is very popular with 3rd graders in my UMC Chicago suburb; looks like this --

https://pixielane.com/products/cotton-soft-french-terry-easy-zip-hoodie?variant=44455522467977

https://pixielane.com/products/cotton-soft-french-terry-everyday-hoodie?variant=44646784630921

The "cool" third graders are not yet wearing purely muted solid athlesiure looks; that shift starts in 5th grade, when that is very much the look. The "cool" kids in 3rd are absolutely no longer wearing dresses, skirts, tutus, sparkles, frills, etc.. But patterns like bows, lightning bolts, cherries, smiley faces, some hearts, numbers, and some words like "NYC" are absolutely popular. The "cool" girls wear flare leggings and wide-leg sweats with these graphics down the pant leg. They wear cropped (like sit at the waist) sweathisrts or hoodies with these patterns too. Nikes and ugg slippers. That's what I see. Maybe it's different in DC...

[Anonymous]

OP, are you at a private with a bunch of rich girls? Or in McLean or something?

This is sad. a 3rd grader shouldn't have to worry about this stuff.

But really look into what is causing this. Is it coming from like one girl who is the younger sibling? Or by many.

She needs new friends, maybe a new school. If it is all the girls, it won't get better, and it will only get worse. I hope your DD has friends in and outside of school with sports or something else.

[Anonymous]

OP has already clarified that the negative and mean comments are not coming from her DD's friends, but rather a cohort of mean girls. You're a fool if you think cohorts like that only exist "in McLean" or don't emerge as early as 3rd grade.

A third grader in tutus and puffed sleeves will be an outlier -- I say that factually, no negative connotation. If your DD thinks that swapping the tutus for some leggings and sweatshirts will make her less of a target for these girls, then let her. Dealing with that cohort is miserable and exhausting and demoralizing. Your DD can move on to enjoying school, and sports, and friends, and having fun. It's just some damn clothes -- really, how much of her identity is tied up in the tutus?

[Anonymous]

Man, I am sorry. I was anti-uniform because I wanted my kids to be able to not be lemmings but this is why I like uniforms now. I know that doesn't help you, but I wonder if in an age of social media this will become a trend again because the competitiveness is terrible and uniforms can be cheap

[Anonymous]

Get that therapy for you and your daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what's "wrong" with Boden?

For a third grader No