Helping 3rd grade girl "look cool" without compromising herself

[Anonymous]

Look at Zara kids together or H&M to see how she can experiment with textures, silhouettes, etc. Wideleg jeans in pink with a fun printed T, "right" shoes, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have seen a few years wear wide bottom leg jeans or pants. They look so retro, lol

[Anonymous]

Get some knockoff stuff online, kids won't know difference.

Maybe straighten her hair and teach her how. Let her grow it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get some knockoff stuff online, kids won't know difference.

Maybe straighten her hair and teach her how. Let her grow it out.

She didn’t say she needed to hunt for cheapest clothes there are. Sadly the bullies pick that apart. The sales at Abercrombie kids and Zara are excellent. HM has excellent prices. Stick to the mall for best results.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a babysitter or other neighborhood middle school or high school girl that your daughter knows that could go to the mall with her to help pick out clothes?

When my daughter was in about 5th grade a friend of mine and her teenage daughter went shopping together. Never has my daughter felt more confident about her clothes than the clothes she got on that trip. She felt “teenage” cool. Even though the clothes weren’t anything much different than what she already had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a babysitter or other neighborhood middle school or high school girl that your daughter knows that could go to the mall with her to help pick out clothes?

When my daughter was in about 5th grade a friend of mine and her teenage daughter went shopping together. Never has my daughter felt more confident about her clothes than the clothes she got on that trip. She felt “teenage” cool. Even though the clothes weren’t anything much different than what she already had.

Love this idea.
I would also skip kohls and do mall stores with edited down collections. I always felt confident with fancier/nicer sneakers and jacket or backpack. Something you can wear everyday. A lot of kids have the state backpacks here and girls will have a lululemon jacket and nice water bottle.

[Anonymous]

Throw in some athleisure basics in a neutral color to wear mixed in with her brights.

Not in one outfit. Maybe some neutral joggers with a bright shirt and colorful socks or an athleisure track jacket to wear with her tutus. Maybe more neutral outerwear but colorful accessories

She's never going to fully fit in but that is for the best in the long term.

This is the time to look for a few girls who will accept her as she is and try to deepen the friendship.

Also, get her involved in other activities where she can meet different circles of children outside of school. It will be life saving soon to realize there are all kinds of people in the world and there is a place for her just the way she is

- mom of teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW I don't think she needs to be limited to muted athleisure. I think she just needs some help with some brands and styling. My DD9 likes graphic tees from Abercrombie Kids, Zara, and Old Navy.

She had sneakers similar to these https://lolaandtheboys.com/collections/girls-sneakers/products/star-girl-glitter-sneakers. Basically like Golden Goose knockoffs and got alot of compliments.

With Wicked 2 coming out there will probably be alot of related tshirts or hoodies.

Leopard print leggings with a black shirt and a denim jacket?

https://factory.jcrew.com/p/girls/categories/clothing/pants-and-leggings/printed-leggings/CM489?display=all&fit=Classic&colorProductCode=CM489&color_name=desert-khaki-vintage-br

I would take her to a mall and let her explore Abercrombie, Old Navy, Zara to get some ideas. I feel like 8 years old is when I started shifting to having to take my DD to actual stores to try things on vs just ordering a bunch of stuff online and assuming that she would like it.

Things like cherries, bows, capybaras are in so if you get shirts with that kind of stuff you can pair it with flare or wide leg denim.

It is a stage where girls start transitioning their fashion away from Tea Collection and Boden but it doesnt mean that she needs to jump into crop tops and teen wear. I think alot of girls start to accessorize more with bracelets, necklaces, keychains on their backpacks, jibbitz in their crocs etc.

Thanks for the brand recs and links. I think Lola and the Boys might be a sweet spot for her because she likes bright colors and sequins but its a bit more grown up that some of her clothes. She does have a skirt from there I bought her over the summer I think she likes, I'll have her take a look.

I think the bummer is that she genuinely likes the clothes that are now deemed "babyish." Like I'm not buying her Boden and Hanna because it's what I want -- she likes it. She loves the skater dresses and the prints. She likes "tutu dresses" and will ask for them specifically for her birthday and holidays. When I take her in places like JCrew or Zara, she tells me the clothes are boring because she doesn't like the limited colors.

But I'm doing what I can. It's a tough age! When I was in elementary I exclusively wore hand me downs from my sister and my clothes were always too big and a bit out of fashion, so I do want to get her stuff she likes that fits and makes her feel good. What I'm trying to avoid is adding to the pressure to conform to a style that doesn't really feel authentic to her. I especially don't want to squash her love of color and prints because that stuff makes her so happy! She's always been that kid who loves playing dress up, playing princess, spinning around in a dress, etc. I don't want her to feel like she has to change to fit in.

Look through jcrew online. I think they might be a kind of a sweet spot for your daughter because they have a mix of things that look boden-y and the styles she’s seeing at school. For example, the sweatshirt/tulle dress one day, wide leg pants another day.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely Nothing. Girls are mean. Others are likely jealous ignore them. build self-confidence.

[Anonymous]

Haha what’s wrong with no braces? Joke is on them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like for kids nowadays, it goes from little kid clothing to teen style and it starts earlier too, by 8. There isn't an in between tween stage. It's sad.

I agree. I have almost 10year old in 4th grade. Early this year during Easter, she announced that she won't put any dresses on anymore since they are not cool. I noticed that none of her friends would ever wear a dress anymore. My daughter became very picky what she wants to wear ( but she's not into any particular brands yet). I have lots of hand-me down clothes from my nieces, so I have a lot of clothes, but half of them my daughter won't wear. So I don't have a good advice for you OP, but I understand your concerns.

[Anonymous]

This is when you take her out of private school and put her in public where she can be herself.

[Anonymous]

Try Next.us - British brand that is bright but not babyish. I think my 9 year old looks stylish in the pieces I bought her from their site

[Anonymous]

This is when you take her out of private school and put her in public where she can be herself.

I don't think OP said whether her D is in private or public, but there is peer pressure to fit in clothing-wise at public schools too.

[Anonymous]

I do recall third/fourth being the age around which the really little kid brands seem a bit too babyish. Move on to gap, old navy, Athleta girl, Uniqlo. Curly hair is cool! Look at Sabrina carpenter and Chappell roan!