Helping 3rd grade girl "look cool" without compromising herself

[Anonymous]

Don't yell at me, this isn't coming from me. I think my kid looks beautiful every second of every day and tell her so. I also love the clothes and colors she chooses for herself. I'm not trying to change anything about her.

This age seems to be introducing some social competitiveness, though, especially around looks and clothes for girls. DD has gotten negative comments at school about her hair (apparently not long enough, and too curly/wavy), her clothes (too babyish), her shoes (wrong brands), and her teeth (no braces yet).

To her credit, she does not want to change who she is or how she looks. But she wants to blend in a bit more. If you were me, what would you buy for her or suggest. She likes bright colors and loud prints in "fun" clothes (dresses and skirts with poofy sleeves and tutu skirts), but the trend for this age is athleisure in muted solids (so basically dressing like their moms). She doesn't want to drop her colors or prints, but wants to look a bit more grown up.

Looking for brands and specific items that this age group seems to approve of. Again, this isn't a total makeover, she just wants to look more mature and less like an outlier at school.

[Anonymous]

Time for a new friend group.

[Anonymous]

Maybe try bright athleisure and/or muted "fun" clothes?

[Anonymous]

This is the age where you start to drop the ruffles, sequins, tutu skirts, etc. in my experience (sad but just how it goes). There are plenty of cute prints for more basic tops, sweaters, hoodies that you can pair with jeans or joggers for a slightly older look.

[Anonymous]

Public school? They have a uniform all their own. when we were kids it was jeans and a tshirt, now it's yoga pants. Go to dicks or target or kohls and look for some clothes. or under armor. agree with looking for more muted clothes or bright altheisure. good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I bought her a bunch of the flared leg yoga pants over the weekend as those appear to be really popular. We got a range of colors -- some muted naturals but also a couple in more fun colors since likes that.

But what to wear with it? Are there some patterns that are still cool? Not like Hanna or Boden style patterns but something a bit more grown up? Graphic tees? Anyone have ideas for graphic tee brands for this age group?

[Anonymous]

Can you put her hair in interesting braids or weave in some colored hair pieces?

Now is the time to have fun with cheap jewelry as long as they don't get in the way of play/learning. Lockets, friendship bracelets, etc.

But if other kids are actually saying her clothes are cheap and she's being called a baby, that's bullying and you should step in

[Anonymous]

I would look around school and see what the cool kids are wearing. It varies based on school. My kids go to a title 1 and basically just want to wear Nike all day. Boden kids is what my kids wear on weekends and to visit family but it’s not cool for school. It’s too classy.

Nike Air Force ones and adidas sambas still seem to be going strong for shoes.

My 4th grade girl will only wear plain, mostly solid T shirts with leggings. Or Nike logo shirts.

[Anonymous]

I have a 3rd grade daughter that has her own opinions about clothing and is usually not at the forefront of trends. I have no idea if anyone ever says things to her about her clothing--she hasn't told me that they have-- but she'll occasionally tell me that she wants a clothing item that seems out of left field for her, so I expect it's peer influence. This year it was jeans. She's always been a leggings kid, so that was a surprise. She picked out some jeans at Old Navy with holes in the knees, etc. and has been happy with that. Adidas shoes in colors seem to fit right in at our school too as do Owala water bottles in all the colors. She also wants her hair braided, whereas last year she didn't. Every school is its own microcosm though, so I'd take her somewhere that's within budget for what you want to spend and let her pick a few things.

[Anonymous]

+1 for look at the kids. Find out what brand shoes sre cool. Get them.
What kind of patterns is your kid wearing OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would look around school and see what the cool kids are wearing. It varies based on school. My kids go to a title 1 and basically just want to wear Nike all day. Boden kids is what my kids wear on weekends and to visit family but it’s not cool for school. It’s too classy.

Nike Air Force ones and adidas sambas still seem to be going strong for shoes.

My 4th grade girl will only wear plain, mostly solid T shirts with leggings. Or Nike logo shirts.

That’s not why it’s not cool…

[Anonymous]

It seems like for kids nowadays, it goes from little kid clothing to teen style and it starts earlier too, by 8. There isn't an in between tween stage. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

There are definitely girls in third who look like tweens.

I have two teenage boys. I am in zero rush to make my third grader look cool. She has a mix of cute dresses and athleisure type comfortable clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would look around school and see what the cool kids are wearing. It varies based on school. My kids go to a title 1 and basically just want to wear Nike all day. Boden kids is what my kids wear on weekends and to visit family but it’s not cool for school. It’s too classy.

Nike Air Force ones and adidas sambas still seem to be going strong for shoes.

My 4th grade girl will only wear plain, mostly solid T shirts with leggings. Or Nike logo shirts.

That’s not why it’s not cool…

I bought my kids Boden in preschool. I don’t like the look for my daughter currently. I used to buy a lot of lily pulitzer in early elementary school.

[Anonymous]

What if she wore a loud tank top under a muted athlesure jacket? And what if you got her the "right" brand of shoes?

Other than that I'd let her be.