PSA-Hoco season

[Anonymous]

I mean, if I am aware of a kid in my son's friend group who is not included, I'll definitely ask why in case my son just forgot that person, but I don't intend to make a general PSA to him about kids I don't know who he may be friendly with at school.

[Anonymous]

Can anyone explain why my post keeps getting deleted? All I said was land the helicopter. Help your daughter get a backbone and encourage her to be the one asking about plans rather than waiting to be asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. As a senior, my son only went to homecoming one out of the past three years. I cannot imagine worrying about this before labor day or posting about it on DCUM. The reality is that my son is shy and introverted and only has a few good friends (he has many more acquaintances through a club that he is very involved in). He's a great person, but he's not going to get invited to every dance and or social event due to his introversion, and that is ok. It's fine not to be the life of the party and it is fine not to get invited to every event.

+1 this exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop projecting your social anxiety on your child about things that may or may not come to pass and that she may or may not be concerned about even if they happen.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OHHH I have one!

"Parents, please remind your kids"... to wear dresses that cover their bottoms!

How's that?

Oh here come the hand-wringing boy moms who hate the dresses!

I'm a mom of a boy and a girl (17 and 20 yr olds), and I hate those revealing dresses. It's trashy.

It’s one night who cares. It’s not going in the wedding album Gladys. And it certainly doesn’t look any worse then those awful lacrosse and baseball mullet hairstyles on boys! And now thr bleach blonde dye!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone explain why my post keeps getting deleted? All I said was land the helicopter. Help your daughter get a backbone and encourage her to be the one asking about plans rather than waiting to be asked.

And all we are saying is that it is ok to remind your kid to have some self-awareness as they make plans that their friend might need a hand in feeling included. Sheesh. Both can be true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone explain why my post keeps getting deleted? All I said was land the helicopter. Help your daughter get a backbone and encourage her to be the one asking about plans rather than waiting to be asked.

And all we are saying is that it is ok to remind your kid to have some self-awareness as they make plans that their friend might need a hand in feeling included. Sheesh. Both can be true!

Who is we? And I’m sorry, but no. It’s not anyone’s job to make your daughter feel included. This is a you (or your daughter’s) problem.

[Anonymous]

We can remind our kids but you have to be encouraging yours to not just be passive and hope someone does all the heavy lifting for her. Friendship goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

Are "hoco groups" really a thing? I have a HS junior and an older kid in college. Neither one has gone to a homecoming event. For the older one pandemic disrupted two years but the younger one looks at me like I'm insane if I ask about it. Both my kids are boys - maybe this is more a girl thing than a boy thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are "hoco groups" really a thing? I have a HS junior and an older kid in college. Neither one has gone to a homecoming event. For the older one pandemic disrupted two years but the younger one looks at me like I'm insane if I ask about it. Both my kids are boys - maybe this is more a girl thing than a boy thing?

Probably more of a girl thing than a boy thing. DD and her friends get dressed together, go out for pictures, and then dinner some place nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are "hoco groups" really a thing? I have a HS junior and an older kid in college. Neither one has gone to a homecoming event. For the older one pandemic disrupted two years but the younger one looks at me like I'm insane if I ask about it. Both my kids are boys - maybe this is more a girl thing than a boy thing?

My older girls (now in college) did get together with friends before for pictures. My son doesn’t care. He just goes and meets his friends at the dance. It’s an all boys private school that partners with a girls school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We can remind our kids but you have to be encouraging yours to not just be passive and hope someone does all the heavy lifting for her. Friendship goes both ways.

+1. Yes we can remind our kids to reach out, but reminding the quiet introverted ones to reach out as well is a good plan and will serve them well down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are "hoco groups" really a thing? I have a HS junior and an older kid in college. Neither one has gone to a homecoming event. For the older one pandemic disrupted two years but the younger one looks at me like I'm insane if I ask about it. Both my kids are boys - maybe this is more a girl thing than a boy thing?

It's a girl thing and they drag some boys along with them. (I have a girl and a boy.) For the girls and sadly some of their moms) it's become about the photo ops and their insta pics. I'm not sure how much fun it even is in the end. Many of them barely show up at the actual dance.

Like many things, UMC adults and social media have ruined it.

[Anonymous]

My DD has several good friends who all want in their Hoco group. But there is one mean girl who doesn’t and she is the queen bee. The other girls are afraid to stand up to her. That girl is a horrible person and so are her parents for being checked out, or worse, condoning her behavior.

Why do we pretend people like this don’t exist, or don’t behave this way intentionally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has several good friends who all want in their Hoco group. But there is one mean girl who doesn’t and she is the queen bee. The other girls are afraid to stand up to her. That girl is a horrible person and so are her parents for being checked out, or worse, condoning her behavior.

Why do we pretend people like this don’t exist, or don’t behave this way intentionally?

Look at their moms. They're all on here advocating for exclusion.