PSA-Hoco season

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: My kids don't go to a school with hoco I didn't attend such a school either. That aside, why do so many UMC parents try to relieve their own hoco through their children by planing these elaborate ceremonies? Renting a party bus??? Deciding whose house to meet at for pictures??? Excluding kids on purpose??? What do the adults get out of this?

They derive some social status via their kid or at least think they do. Many adults are very invested in their kid being “popular” or “cool” and really enjoy it when they are.

Agree. I think this is from women who peaked in high school devastated that they have a kid totally unlike them, or more like a Carrie revenge and they don’t want their kid to be an outsider like they were and are desperate for popularity. Just let the kids be themselves, they probably don’t care as much as the kids think they do. It’s social media driven.

I actually think it's moms of daughters who are likely in the spectrum and they have had a hard time accepting this. And now the difference between their daughters and their peers is more glaring. Otherwise I'm not understanding why a 14 year old is has friends but is unaware of their friend group these friends don't want to include them in activities and also their child cannot possibly be expected to initiate any plans for themselves

What about your post are you proud of? Also you sound super out of touch. Kids on the spectrum are cool now.

I honestly wonder if that poster is herself on the spectrum for how off-putting that post is.

DP. +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: My kids don't go to a school with hoco I didn't attend such a school either. That aside, why do so many UMC parents try to relieve their own hoco through their children by planing these elaborate ceremonies? Renting a party bus??? Deciding whose house to meet at for pictures??? Excluding kids on purpose??? What do the adults get out of this?

They derive some social status via their kid or at least think they do. Many adults are very invested in their kid being “popular” or “cool” and really enjoy it when they are.

Agree. I think this is from women who peaked in high school devastated that they have a kid totally unlike them, or more like a Carrie revenge and they don’t want their kid to be an outsider like they were and are desperate for popularity. Just let the kids be themselves, they probably don’t care as much as the kids think they do. It’s social media driven.

I actually think it's moms of daughters who are likely in the spectrum and they have had a hard time accepting this. And now the difference between their daughters and their peers is more glaring. Otherwise I'm not understanding why a 14 year old is has friends but is unaware of their friend group these friends don't want to include them in activities and also their child cannot possibly be expected to initiate any plans for themselves

What about your post are you proud of? Also you sound super out of touch. Kids on the spectrum are cool now.

I honestly wonder if that poster is herself on the spectrum for how off-putting that post is.

DP. +1

OP, we know it’s you. You’re embarassing yourself now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: My kids don't go to a school with hoco I didn't attend such a school either. That aside, why do so many UMC parents try to relieve their own hoco through their children by planing these elaborate ceremonies? Renting a party bus??? Deciding whose house to meet at for pictures??? Excluding kids on purpose??? What do the adults get out of this?

They derive some social status via their kid or at least think they do. Many adults are very invested in their kid being “popular” or “cool” and really enjoy it when they are.

Agree. I think this is from women who peaked in high school devastated that they have a kid totally unlike them, or more like a Carrie revenge and they don’t want their kid to be an outsider like they were and are desperate for popularity. Just let the kids be themselves, they probably don’t care as much as the kids think they do. It’s social media driven.

I actually think it's moms of daughters who are likely in the spectrum and they have had a hard time accepting this. And now the difference between their daughters and their peers is more glaring. Otherwise I'm not understanding why a 14 year old is has friends but is unaware of their friend group these friends don't want to include them in activities and also their child cannot possibly be expected to initiate any plans for themselves

What about your post are you proud of? Also you sound super out of touch. Kids on the spectrum are cool now.

No ot's cool to claim your on the spectrum on Tik Tok , Instgram etc. Kinds who are actually on the spectrum aren't cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: My kids don't go to a school with hoco I didn't attend such a school either. That aside, why do so many UMC parents try to relieve their own hoco through their children by planing these elaborate ceremonies? Renting a party bus??? Deciding whose house to meet at for pictures??? Excluding kids on purpose??? What do the adults get out of this?

They derive some social status via their kid or at least think they do. Many adults are very invested in their kid being “popular” or “cool” and really enjoy it when they are.

Agree. I think this is from women who peaked in high school devastated that they have a kid totally unlike them, or more like a Carrie revenge and they don’t want their kid to be an outsider like they were and are desperate for popularity. Just let the kids be themselves, they probably don’t care as much as the kids think they do. It’s social media driven.

I actually think it's moms of daughters who are likely in the spectrum and they have had a hard time accepting this. And now the difference between their daughters and their peers is more glaring. Otherwise I'm not understanding why a 14 year old is has friends but is unaware of their friend group these friends don't want to include them in activities and also their child cannot possibly be expected to initiate any plans for themselves

What about your post are you proud of? Also you sound super out of touch. Kids on the spectrum are cool now.

I honestly wonder if that poster is herself on the spectrum for how off-putting that post is.

Truth is uncomfortable sometimes.

[Anonymous]

It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should work on helping her build up the courage to ask to join these kids. My son asked a friend last year if he could join a group going to homecoming, and it worked out fine. The rest of the boys going had been friends since elementary, but my son is friends with them as well, just not as close of friends. They went to the dance, had a good time, and that was that.

Yea, my son did this as well and the group said no. It really sucked that he had the courage to ask and had the door slammed in his face. And these were his friends from elementary school. This group is quasi-the popular crowd and they are ruthless. The next year, my DS went with a less "popular" group and it was much less stressful but I know my son felt a bit bitter about the earlier experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Disclaimer: My kids don't go to a school with hoco I didn't attend such a school either. That aside, why do so many UMC parents try to relieve their own hoco through their children by planing these elaborate ceremonies? Renting a party bus??? Deciding whose house to meet at for pictures??? Excluding kids on purpose??? What do the adults get out of this?

They derive some social status via their kid or at least think they do. Many adults are very invested in their kid being “popular” or “cool” and really enjoy it when they are.

Agree. I think this is from women who peaked in high school devastated that they have a kid totally unlike them, or more like a Carrie revenge and they don’t want their kid to be an outsider like they were and are desperate for popularity. Just let the kids be themselves, they probably don’t care as much as the kids think they do. It’s social media driven.

I actually think it's moms of daughters who are likely in the spectrum and they have had a hard time accepting this. And now the difference between their daughters and their peers is more glaring. Otherwise I'm not understanding why a 14 year old is has friends but is unaware of their friend group these friends don't want to include them in activities and also their child cannot possibly be expected to initiate any plans for themselves

What about your post are you proud of? Also you sound super out of touch. Kids on the spectrum are cool now.

I honestly wonder if that poster is herself on the spectrum for how off-putting that post is.

DP. +1

OP, we know it’s you. You’re embarassing yourself now.

+1 nothing about the post suggests the poster was on the spectrum. It sounds like a knee jerk reaction by you to an uncomfortable truth. If your daughter has so much trouble relating to peers, she could actually be on the spectrum. If she is “painfully shy” maybe therapy could help. It is not normal for a mom to post a PSA about Hoco due to her daughter’s issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should work on helping her build up the courage to ask to join these kids. My son asked a friend last year if he could join a group going to homecoming, and it worked out fine. The rest of the boys going had been friends since elementary, but my son is friends with them as well, just not as close of friends. They went to the dance, had a good time, and that was that.

Yea, my son did this as well and the group said no. It really sucked that he had the courage to ask and had the door slammed in his face. And these were his friends from elementary school. This group is quasi-the popular crowd and they are ruthless. The next year, my DS went with a less "popular" group and it was much less stressful but I know my son felt a bit bitter about the earlier experience.

But, that’s life. He moved on and will be better off for it. Not all overtures will be well received. You won’t always get the job you asked for, or the raise, or the date you want. Shielding kids from the reality of life does no good. You get knocked down sometimes and have to learn to get back up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should work on helping her build up the courage to ask to join these kids. My son asked a friend last year if he could join a group going to homecoming, and it worked out fine. The rest of the boys going had been friends since elementary, but my son is friends with them as well, just not as close of friends. They went to the dance, had a good time, and that was that.

Yea, my son did this as well and the group said no. It really sucked that he had the courage to ask and had the door slammed in his face. And these were his friends from elementary school. This group is quasi-the popular crowd and they are ruthless. The next year, my DS went with a less "popular" group and it was much less stressful but I know my son felt a bit bitter about the earlier experience.

But, that’s life. He moved on and will be better off for it. Not all overtures will be well received. You won’t always get the job you asked for, or the raise, or the date you want. Shielding kids from the reality of life does no good. You get knocked down sometimes and have to learn to get back up again.

+1 it’s better to know who wants you around

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

And they are asking other parents/kids to provide the scaffolding their kid would need to be successful in that group. That’s not a reasonable request. Kids need to be working on this well before HOCO rolls around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

And they are asking other parents/kids to provide the scaffolding their kid would need to be successful in that group. That’s not a reasonable request. Kids need to be working on this well before HOCO rolls around.

You are never too old to model inclusivity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

And they are asking other parents/kids to provide the scaffolding their kid would need to be successful in that group. That’s not a reasonable request. Kids need to be working on this well before HOCO rolls around.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

And they are asking other parents/kids to provide the scaffolding their kid would need to be successful in that group. That’s not a reasonable request. Kids need to be working on this well before HOCO rolls around.

You are never too old to model inclusivity!

You’re sounding really desperate, OP, it’s sad. You’re daughter would be mortified if she knew you were posting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s always interesting how the “be kind” posters never think to have their own child ask someone who doesn’t have a group to go with. it would solve the problem and they could put their kindness virtue into action.

+1 they want their kid in a certain group.

And they are asking other parents/kids to provide the scaffolding their kid would need to be successful in that group. That’s not a reasonable request. Kids need to be working on this well before HOCO rolls around.

You are never too old to model inclusivity!

You’re sounding really desperate, OP, it’s sad. You’re daughter would be mortified if she knew you were posting here.

Classic bully behavior! That's what you sound like.