Menopause rage makes me hate my nice husband

[Anonymous]

^I'm sure your husband is happy too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I’m 48, in menopause and on HRT, empty nester, got so tired of my husband that I rented an apartment in a different state and moved there last weekend.

I downloaded a dating app on Sunday and have been exchanging numerous messages with a 36 y.o. man yesterday and today. We are making plans to meet on Saturday and already agreed to go walking, kayaking, rock climbing, and skydiving if we like each other in person. I’m happy with my decision thus far.

Let us know how that date goes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, menopausal rage did not happen with me. In fact, these are the best years of our married life. I am SAHM whose kids have left the coop and DH still has a few years before retirement.

But, some of the reasons why there is no rage but a whole lot of love for my spouse -

- I am a SAHW. No pressure to go to toxic workplace enviornments. (Sorry, but if you have a great and happy workplace, you are the few lucky ones!). We have money. No abuse, adultery, addiction issues.

- I have my own bedroom and own bathroom. We cuddle, we have sex, we nap together, but we have our own space.

- Domestic staff. I don't ever want to tell anyone to do their share of chores at my house because no one ever does it happily and I don't care for the drama and the resentment. So, I have always had a weekly cleaner for the house. I also have a landscape guy who mows every 10 days and does my seasonal maintenance for $$$$ extra money.

- We have enough money to outsource stuff. I am a minimalist kind of person who does not care for clothes, expensive grooming, designer stuff for my own self. So, I decided there is no need for me to save my DH's money and not outsource stuff. My DH does not care about the money I spend in outsourcing things, but he will be pissed if I am a rage-filled spouse.

- My entire focus has been my kids and family, so since that all turned out ok, I am most relaxed and chilled.

- I am not a hyper or a super-competetive person. As long as I am able to meet my social and family obligations, I don't want too much. I am not a striver. I am happy as a clam with my life as it is.

Oh no, I didn’t have menopausal rage but then I read this and now I dooooo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

Good Plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I’m 48, in menopause and on HRT, empty nester, got so tired of my husband that I rented an apartment in a different state and moved there last weekend.

I downloaded a dating app on Sunday and have been exchanging numerous messages with a 36 y.o. man yesterday and today. We are making plans to meet on Saturday and already agreed to go walking, kayaking, rock climbing, and skydiving if we like each other in person. I’m happy with my decision thus far.

This is probably the happiest your husband has been in years. He finally gets some peace.

[Anonymous]

No, but my husband hates me in the way you described. When he gets started in couples therapy, it's clear that he hates everything about me as a person - the way he describes me is pure contempt. I wish he would do me a favor and leave; I can't pull the trigger because of the kids. If that's how you feel about your husband, be kind and leave.

[Anonymous]

My husband works from home/anywhere. So he is able to go help his brothers with his mom every few months. It really gives us a nice break from each other. We need time to miss each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but my husband hates me in the way you described. When he gets started in couples therapy, it's clear that he hates everything about me as a person - the way he describes me is pure contempt. I wish he would do me a favor and leave; I can't pull the trigger because of the kids. If that's how you feel about your husband, be kind and leave.

Soooo what makes you think your husband can’t for the same reasons as you.

Ma’am Divorce. Your husband hates you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but my husband hates me in the way you described. When he gets started in couples therapy, it's clear that he hates everything about me as a person - the way he describes me is pure contempt. I wish he would do me a favor and leave; I can't pull the trigger because of the kids. If that's how you feel about your husband, be kind and leave.

Soooo what makes you think your husband can’t for the same reasons as you.

Ma’am Divorce. Your husband hates you.

I have a high pain tolerance and love putting my kids to bed every night. I've experienced a broken family and shuffling between houses and does sling with new partners and I can't do that to my kids. But if he left - I would be relieved.

[Anonymous]

The women on here thinking their husband isn't counting the days like a prisoner doing time. Commute his sentence already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^I'm sure your husband is happy too.

I’ve never cheated on him during 20+ years of our marriage, and I told him that I’m going to date other men when I move out!
Just got a message from a 38 y.o. man asking if I “might like to explore younger man”. I’m petite, and the guy that I’m planning a date with said that I look over a decade younger than my listed age 🤣 I’m going to explore them one at a time, no plan to date multiple men simultaneously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

Hello, me. My husband is delightful. But he breathes, and chews, and moves in bed. He makes stupid jokes, lets the grass get too long before mowing, and weighs 60 pounds more than he should. He doesn't brush his teeth enough, he won't exercise, and he cooks for the whole family. He creates clutter, has big shoes, and he takes out the trash & recycling of his own volition. He won't take his own antidepressants, he still likes to have sex with me, and his breath smells bad in the morning.

As you can see it is a hopeless case and I definitely need a getaway from this horrible man and life we've created together.

It’s posts like these that make me so thankful that I’m single!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I’m 48, in menopause and on HRT, empty nester, got so tired of my husband that I rented an apartment in a different state and moved there last weekend.

I downloaded a dating app on Sunday and have been exchanging numerous messages with a 36 y.o. man yesterday and today. We are making plans to meet on Saturday and already agreed to go walking, kayaking, rock climbing, and skydiving if we like each other in person. I’m happy with my decision thus far.

Let us know how that date goes!

I will!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The women on here thinking their husband isn't counting the days like a prisoner doing time. Commute his sentence already.

They probably love their kids more than they hate, dislike, or even fear their husbands. Women make huge sacrifices for their children, starting with pregnancy, then childbirth, then breastfeeding, and on and on.

[Anonymous]

OP, is it possible you come out on the other side of menopause liking/loving your husband again? Or is menopause just an excuse for hating your husband? It seems like right around menopause, which is often when kids leave for kids, some couples find their spark again, and others divorce.