Menopause rage makes me hate my nice husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get you. I was literally considering making a doc appointment to say that I CANNOT STAND my family right now so maybe something is wrong with me. I feel like I spend most of every day screaming at one of them. It’s so stressful.

Does estrogen really help? Is there a blood test to do first?

And the chewing and breathing in a noisy way annoys me so much too. It always did really but now I just can’t hold it in.

[Anonymous]

OP, please explain. Are you also raging at your children, your boss, your co-employees and your neighbor?

[Anonymous]

Bet you don’t mind his paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

Hello, me. My husband is delightful. But he breathes, and chews, and moves in bed. He makes stupid jokes, lets the grass get too long before mowing, and weighs 60 pounds more than he should. He doesn't brush his teeth enough, he won't exercise, and he cooks for the whole family. He creates clutter, has big shoes, and he takes out the trash & recycling of his own volition. He won't take his own antidepressants, he still likes to have sex with me, and his breath smells bad in the morning.

As you can see it is a hopeless case and I definitely need a getaway from this horrible man and life we've created together.

Why do they breathe so LOUDLY? Mine sniffs with every inhale. I want to throat punch him. -.-
But he makes coffee and brings it to me. Washes the dogs. Still has a 6 pack. (not beer, abs!) Yes, clutter and leaves his shoes where I trip on them. But is so calm and sweet. I wish he would never eat in my earshot though....

So yeah, I feel you.

Has a 6 pack and you want to throat punch him?

Only when he breathes.

Ok, I am clearly not being serious and just pointing out how irrational it is sometimes when things annoy you. He's a great guy, and pretty hot (as evidenced by the looks he gets at the pool). You can love someone and still be annoyed by them!

Girl appreciate the six pack!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, menopausal rage did not happen with me. In fact, these are the best years of our married life. I am SAHM whose kids have left the coop and DH still has a few years before retirement.

But, some of the reasons why there is no rage but a whole lot of love for my spouse -

- I am a SAHW. No pressure to go to toxic workplace enviornments. (Sorry, but if you have a great and happy workplace, you are the few lucky ones!). We have money. No abuse, adultery, addiction issues.

- I have my own bedroom and own bathroom. We cuddle, we have sex, we nap together, but we have our own space.

- Domestic staff. I don't ever want to tell anyone to do their share of chores at my house because no one ever does it happily and I don't care for the drama and the resentment. So, I have always had a weekly cleaner for the house. I also have a landscape guy who mows every 10 days and does my seasonal maintenance for $$$$ extra money.

- We have enough money to outsource stuff. I am a minimalist kind of person who does not care for clothes, expensive grooming, designer stuff for my own self. So, I decided there is no need for me to save my DH's money and not outsource stuff. My DH does not care about the money I spend in outsourcing things, but he will be pissed if I am a rage-filled spouse.

- My entire focus has been my kids and family, so since that all turned out ok, I am most relaxed and chilled.

- I am not a hyper or a super-competitive person. As long as I am able to meet my social and family obligations, I don't want too much. I am not a striver. I am happy as a clam with my life as it is.

So then this thread is not for you. Please take your smug self to some other place.

No, no, no. This thread is a cry for help that I cannot ignore, I want all of you to continue to redirect your menopausal rage towards me. Here are the reasons why -
- Your poor husbands will get some relief.
- I am quite indifferent to DCUM hate.
- My post also has the inbuilt tropes of DCUM so the hate pathways are well-trodden, and the triggering will continue cocking. WOHM vs SAHM, Hate men vs love men. Having domestic help vs no domestic help. Toxic workplace vs working for no pay. You will realize that mouth-breathing, American middle aged body man, is not so annoying.
- When all of you band together and abuse me, you will feel better about giving a fitting reply to my smugness. Then you will feel light and happy, and you will find your husbands tolerable. Peace will reign again...

[Anonymous]

My rage is more at people other than my DH. Stupidity gives me a short fuse. I used to overlook people's idiotic antics. Now I want to slap, chop or shoot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on an antidepressant and it helped a ton. Worth trying!

I didn't feel depressed but it smoothed out the emotional lability/rage.

SAME

I was hating on everything crying in my car to my mama enraged at the world and within a week or two of SNRI much more functional. Added HRT a year later.

That said, I have less tolerance for fcukery overall. I’m not angry anymore or thinking of moving out but have def joined the WDNC Club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age does menopause start? Sure I can Google it, but would love to hear some experiences. DW just turned 41 and she hasn't talk about this at all. She recently stated taking a weight loss drugs called zepbound and is also more into skincare and shopping for new outfits? Please don't tell me she is cheating, I rather you tell me it's mid life crisis or the beginning of menopause. She has also been looking for things about me to criticize. I don't know she has been aging weird. For now, I am just being patient and avoiding reacting to every little thing that bothers me. Maybe she is staying menopause?

The beginning of menopause is called perimenopause. She's a bit young, but that happens with some people. I'm 58 and not actually through menopause yet. (Officially you are post menopause when you haven't had a period in a year).

What does "aging weird" mean? She's shopping for new outfits because she's losing weight, I'd suspect. And getting more into skincare is likely because she's noticing signs of aging.

Sorry meant to writing "acting weird"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, menopausal rage did not happen with me. In fact, these are the best years of our married life. I am SAHM whose kids have left the coop and DH still has a few years before retirement.

But, some of the reasons why there is no rage but a whole lot of love for my spouse -

- I am a SAHW. No pressure to go to toxic workplace enviornments. (Sorry, but if you have a great and happy workplace, you are the few lucky ones!). We have money. No abuse, adultery, addiction issues.

- I have my own bedroom and own bathroom. We cuddle, we have sex, we nap together, but we have our own space.

- Domestic staff. I don't ever want to tell anyone to do their share of chores at my house because no one ever does it happily and I don't care for the drama and the resentment. So, I have always had a weekly cleaner for the house. I also have a landscape guy who mows every 10 days and does my seasonal maintenance for $$$$ extra money.

- We have enough money to outsource stuff. I am a minimalist kind of person who does not care for clothes, expensive grooming, designer stuff for my own self. So, I decided there is no need for me to save my DH's money and not outsource stuff. My DH does not care about the money I spend in outsourcing things, but he will be pissed if I am a rage-filled spouse.

- My entire focus has been my kids and family, so since that all turned out ok, I am most relaxed and chilled.

- I am not a hyper or a super-competitive person. As long as I am able to meet my social and family obligations, I don't want too much. I am not a striver. I am happy as a clam with my life as it is.

So then this thread is not for you. Please take your smug self to some other place.

No, no, no. This thread is a cry for help that I cannot ignore, I want all of you to continue to redirect your menopausal rage towards me. Here are the reasons why -
- Your poor husbands will get some relief.
- I am quite indifferent to DCUM hate.
- My post also has the inbuilt tropes of DCUM so the hate pathways are well-trodden, and the triggering will continue cocking. WOHM vs SAHM, Hate men vs love men. Having domestic help vs no domestic help. Toxic workplace vs working for no pay. You will realize that mouth-breathing, American middle aged body man, is not so annoying.
- When all of you band together and abuse me, you will feel better about giving a fitting reply to my smugness. Then you will feel light and happy, and you will find your husbands tolerable. Peace will reign again...

New poster ..
LOL @ cocking
I need to find more ways in my life to use that word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bet you don’t mind his paycheck.

OP - I guess it’s ok but I make three times his salary. You’re one of the men on here I imagine.

I am mad at others too (my male law partners are at the top of the list) but not everyone. Though I definitely have a short fuse in general. Lots of good advice on here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

You just need space. My DH and I both WFH (and have kids home for the summer) and I’ve been going to a local library - belonging to the university, not a public library - and it’s really helped me focus and decompress. I get a nice coffee and am able to get a lot of work done in silence.

WFH is great but sometimes you just need to get out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

You are probably more on the same page with him than you realize. He'd love for you to hit the road, too, and is frankly sick of the menopausal rage. And this is after years of putting up with your uninhibited PMS rage, your postpartum rage, etc.

Bottom line, there's no excuse for you to rage at him, it doesn't matter what adjective you slip in front of the word. The idea that you can "blame" your hormones is a cop out. Have some self control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

Hello, me. My husband is delightful. But he breathes, and chews, and moves in bed. He makes stupid jokes, lets the grass get too long before mowing, and weighs 60 pounds more than he should. He doesn't brush his teeth enough, he won't exercise, and he cooks for the whole family. He creates clutter, has big shoes, and he takes out the trash & recycling of his own volition. He won't take his own antidepressants, he still likes to have sex with me, and his breath smells bad in the morning.

As you can see it is a hopeless case and I definitely need a getaway from this horrible man and life we've created together.

Why do they breathe so LOUDLY? Mine sniffs with every inhale. I want to throat punch him. -.-
But he makes coffee and brings it to me. Washes the dogs. Still has a 6 pack. (not beer, abs!) Yes, clutter and leaves his shoes where I trip on them. But is so calm and sweet. I wish he would never eat in my earshot though....

So yeah, I feel you.

Has a 6 pack and you want to throat punch him?

Only when he breathes.

Ok, I am clearly not being serious and just pointing out how irrational it is sometimes when things annoy you. He's a great guy, and pretty hot (as evidenced by the looks he gets at the pool). You can love someone and still be annoyed by them!

Girl appreciate the six pack!!!!

Believe me, I do. (love that you all keep picking on that, haha)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone actually left their nice husband because of menopausal rage? The sound of his voice and his every habit makes me want to strangle him. It doesn't help that we both work from home (with two teens around this summer to boot), so I have essentially no break, but every single thing he does makes me insane. I fantasize constantly about getting my own apartment where I don't have to deal with his clutter and habits. I probably just need therapy/antidepressants/more yoga....

You are probably more on the same page with him than you realize. He'd love for you to hit the road, too, and is frankly sick of the menopausal rage. And this is after years of putting up with your uninhibited PMS rage, your postpartum rage, etc.

Bottom line, there's no excuse for you to rage at him, it doesn't matter what adjective you slip in front of the word. The idea that you can "blame" your hormones is a cop out. Have some self control.

Please highlight exactly where she says that she actually rages at him?

Eff off.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I’m 48, in menopause and on HRT, empty nester, got so tired of my husband that I rented an apartment in a different state and moved there last weekend.

I downloaded a dating app on Sunday and have been exchanging numerous messages with a 36 y.o. man yesterday and today. We are making plans to meet on Saturday and already agreed to go walking, kayaking, rock climbing, and skydiving if we like each other in person. I’m happy with my decision thus far.