Left TJ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Thank you for exhibiting the exact lack of social skills referenced. You and OP both are low in that area, perhaps it is your kids that give the school the bad reputation for social skills...

OP - it's appropriate to say nothing. Maybe Sanjay is sad that Said is leaving. And drop it.

NP. I agree with the "things that didn't happen" poster.

High school isn't preschool. SMH

+1
As a TJ parent, I am quite involve in my kid ECs as volunteer… and I still barely know any parents, let alone say “ I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. ”

How do you barely know any parents? Doesn't sound like you are that involved.

DP. Have you ever had a kid in high school?
You didn't know any parents from high school, they're all from elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

You literally say most of the TJ kids have no social skills or integrity. And then proceeded to make ridiculously insulting claims about the parents too.

And you think there is something wrong with everybody else?

DP

Lots of people on this forum have pointed out the cheating culture and lack of integrity at TJ - its a known thing. Many of those remarks come from people with their kids at the school out of frustration. The fact that many people vigorously defend it means that on some level it's supported. Can you not see that?

Most of the kids don't cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

You literally say most of the TJ kids have no social skills or integrity. And then proceeded to make ridiculously insulting claims about the parents too.

And you think there is something wrong with everybody else?

DP

Lots of people on this forum have pointed out the cheating culture and lack of integrity at TJ - its a known thing. Many of those remarks come from people with their kids at the school out of frustration. The fact that many people vigorously defend it means that on some level it's supported. Can you not see that?

Most of the kids don't cheat.

It still occurs, but nowhere near as frequently as it did before the admission change.

[Anonymous]

Don’t some say posts like this are to give hope for final waitlist spot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

You are wrong. I have a friend whose kid is not going back for sophomore year for similar reasons. Coming back to our private school. True story whether you want to believe it or not.

Yeah, your full of shit.
Either you were not a straight A students; or
You were not from a private and going back to a private; or
Both

But most likely, you don't even have a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

So you came here to say your daughter left because "Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends" so "She went back to private school?"

GTFOH. Getting straight A's as a freshman isn't rare but it's not common either. Coming from a private school is relatively rare. Going BACK to that private school after a year at TJ is exceedingly rare. A straight A student from a private school returning to a private school hasn't happened in recent memory.

High school parent don't hang out with each other unless their kids went to elementary school together or maybe if their kids are on a team together. The freshmen parents are not a very "braggy" group.

I don't know if you had a child that went to TJ but if so, she was not a straight A student that left to go back to a private school. I suspect you don't have kids at all.

You just happen to know ALL kids who’ve attended in recent years? NP.

There are literally a small handful of private school kids admitted since the new admissions policy was put in place and even before that many of the private school admits were from NYSMITH which doesn't have a high school division to go "back" to.

The straight A students stand out and none of them left last few years to go back to a private school. You're full of shit. You're mistake was adding so much fukn detail in an attempt to buy credibility that you narrowed the population to zero.

First of all, I'm sorry you are so angry. This is true and many people don't know my kid was a private school kid. She used the code "out of district" so she wouldn't get picked on - she unfortunately learned that "fancy private schools kids" get picked on from one of her first interactions (with a teacher!) at the school. She never made the mistake to tell anyone else. And yes it is difficult to get straight As and she did. She also didn't share that nugget with others because of the braggy culture around grades. The majority of students' attitudes were kinda like yours. You keep reminding us why we left... that said- not all the kids and parents are a$$holes, just a critical number to make it uncomfortable.

And yes, since socio-economic standing is one of the things submitted to the admissions there is a reason not a lot of private school kids there. For those that want to move hear this - I know there are other kids at TJ that hate the culture PP epitomizes- apply for financial aid at some of top private schools. You kid has a real chance at a much better school if the parents and kids go through the interview process the opposite way PP is interacting on this board. Remember- integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking - or when you are anonymous..

You're so full of shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked my kid if he thinks TJ kids braggy, he said well mom all HS kids is braggy.

Personally, I think TJ kids is actually extraordinary nice.

This has been my experience as well.

I'm sure there are jerks but the social structure doesn't really encourage or even tolerate that sort of behavior very well. These are not generally the kids engaged in social jockeying at your base schools. They are pretty focused on academics and if they weren't before they got there they become focused in order to survive.

The social aspect of TJ is extremely subdued. Everybody is from different neighborhood and everybody is academically focused. There are a lot of negative aspects to TJ but "braggy" arrogant freshman is not one of them, TJ is a pretty humbling place for almost all the students.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like typical imposter syndrome OP is having.
There is plenty of resource that could help to combat and overcome it.

[Anonymous]

OP, don’t bring it up. But if it comes up, just congratulate the kid on making a good decision for themselves. That’s actually an important life skill: knowing how to assess, evaluate, prioritize, and pivot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

You literally say most of the TJ kids have no social skills or integrity. And then proceeded to make ridiculously insulting claims about the parents too.

And you think there is something wrong with everybody else?

DP

Lots of people on this forum have pointed out the cheating culture and lack of integrity at TJ - its a known thing. Many of those remarks come from people with their kids at the school out of frustration. The fact that many people vigorously defend it means that on some level it's supported. Can you not see that?

Most of the kids don't cheat.

Have you seen the other TJ thread. It is widely acknowledged that cheating is very prevalent. Like public knowledge documented.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

You are wrong. I have a friend whose kid is not going back for sophomore year for similar reasons. Coming back to our private school. True story whether you want to believe it or not.

Yeah, your full of shit.
Either you were not a straight A students; or
You were not from a private and going back to a private; or
Both

But most likely, you don't even have a kid.

...or they want to escape you and your poor social skills. You use of curse words tells me you have no social skills, which you can therefore not pass onto your children. This degrades the culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my kid if he thinks TJ kids braggy, he said well mom all HS kids is braggy.

Personally, I think TJ kids is actually extraordinary nice.

This has been my experience as well.

I'm sure there are jerks but the social structure doesn't really encourage or even tolerate that sort of behavior very well. These are not generally the kids engaged in social jockeying at your base schools. They are pretty focused on academics and if they weren't before they got there they become focused in order to survive.

The social aspect of TJ is extremely subdued. Everybody is from different neighborhood and everybody is academically focused. There are a lot of negative aspects to TJ but "braggy" arrogant freshman is not one of them, TJ is a pretty humbling place for almost all the students.

They are braggy and arrogant about grades rather than vacations or shoes. Yes, social jockeying is more prevalent at base schools but it is also necessary to learn that skill for success in the workplace - arguably it's more important than academics. Being braggy about being smart and putting others down the way other people have done on this thread is a recipe for failure in the workplace. Our job as parents is to set them up for success at life, not just in the academic setting.

To the PP consistently saying "$hit".... yeah, exactly what we mean by lack of social skills.... and probably a terrible vocabulary too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my kid if he thinks TJ kids braggy, he said well mom all HS kids is braggy.

Personally, I think TJ kids is actually extraordinary nice.

This has been my experience as well.

I'm sure there are jerks but the social structure doesn't really encourage or even tolerate that sort of behavior very well. These are not generally the kids engaged in social jockeying at your base schools. They are pretty focused on academics and if they weren't before they got there they become focused in order to survive.

The social aspect of TJ is extremely subdued. Everybody is from different neighborhood and everybody is academically focused. There are a lot of negative aspects to TJ but "braggy" arrogant freshman is not one of them, TJ is a pretty humbling place for almost all the students.

They are braggy and arrogant about grades rather than vacations or shoes. Yes, social jockeying is more prevalent at base schools but it is also necessary to learn that skill for success in the workplace - arguably it's more important than academics. Being braggy about being smart and putting others down the way other people have done on this thread is a recipe for failure in the workplace. Our job as parents is to set them up for success at life, not just in the academic setting.

To the PP consistently saying "$hit".... yeah, exactly what we mean by lack of social skills.... and probably a terrible vocabulary too.

oh wait ..
Are you that religious mom whose kids is transferring to private because they couldn't make the transition from home schooling to TJ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my kid if he thinks TJ kids braggy, he said well mom all HS kids is braggy.

Personally, I think TJ kids is actually extraordinary nice.

This has been my experience as well.

I'm sure there are jerks but the social structure doesn't really encourage or even tolerate that sort of behavior very well. These are not generally the kids engaged in social jockeying at your base schools. They are pretty focused on academics and if they weren't before they got there they become focused in order to survive.

The social aspect of TJ is extremely subdued. Everybody is from different neighborhood and everybody is academically focused. There are a lot of negative aspects to TJ but "braggy" arrogant freshman is not one of them, TJ is a pretty humbling place for almost all the students.

They are braggy and arrogant about grades rather than vacations or shoes. Yes, social jockeying is more prevalent at base schools but it is also necessary to learn that skill for success in the workplace - arguably it's more important than academics. Being braggy about being smart and putting others down the way other people have done on this thread is a recipe for failure in the workplace. Our job as parents is to set them up for success at life, not just in the academic setting.

To the PP consistently saying "$hit".... yeah, exactly what we mean by lack of social skills.... and probably a terrible vocabulary too.

oh wait ..
Are you that religious mom whose kids is transferring to private because they couldn't make the transition from home schooling to TJ?

Nope.

....I think there's several kids leaving TJ or that have left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked my kid if he thinks TJ kids braggy, he said well mom all HS kids is braggy.

Personally, I think TJ kids is actually extraordinary nice.

This has been my experience as well.

I'm sure there are jerks but the social structure doesn't really encourage or even tolerate that sort of behavior very well. These are not generally the kids engaged in social jockeying at your base schools. They are pretty focused on academics and if they weren't before they got there they become focused in order to survive.

The social aspect of TJ is extremely subdued. Everybody is from different neighborhood and everybody is academically focused. There are a lot of negative aspects to TJ but "braggy" arrogant freshman is not one of them, TJ is a pretty humbling place for almost all the students.

They are braggy and arrogant about grades rather than vacations or shoes. Yes, social jockeying is more prevalent at base schools but it is also necessary to learn that skill for success in the workplace - arguably it's more important than academics. Being braggy about being smart and putting others down the way other people have done on this thread is a recipe for failure in the workplace. Our job as parents is to set them up for success at life, not just in the academic setting.

To the PP consistently saying "$hit".... yeah, exactly what we mean by lack of social skills.... and probably a terrible vocabulary too.

oh wait ..
Are you that religious mom whose kids is transferring to private because they couldn't make the transition from home schooling to TJ?

Nope.

....I think there's several kids leaving TJ or that have left.

Yes, 40-50 kids, going back to their private schools.