Left TJ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People change schools for all kinds of reasons. It doesn’t mean they can’t keep up academically. My kid went to a center school for a while and hated the fierce competition and superior attitude, so went back to the base school. It happens.

TJ, especially freshman year, is a pretty humbling place. Nobody there would look down on another kid for opting out.

Ironically, TJ seems to have fewer egos than the local AAP programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Right.... hard to imagine that not everyone thinks like you. Lemme guess OP is a troll in your mind. OR, maybe there is many good students leaving TJ for the same reason my kid did. Certainly, I know many outstanding kids who didn't apply.

It's hard to imagine parents spending that much time together and it's especially hard imagining TJ parents being "braggy" about their TJ freshmen.

This is just somebody that wants to accuse TJ kids of cheating and TJ parents of being horrible people. They want to explain to themselves why their kid isn't getting good grades (because everybody else cheats) and why their kids are less accomplished (because other parents their kids like who projects).

I don't think things have changed so much in 25 years since I went there that TJ parents actually hang out. My mom went to one or two Moms in Prayer groups, but TJ parents are spread so far apart that it rarely happened. I knew a few people's parents because they hosted pasta parties before regattas, but my parents sure didn't know them. Outside of choir concerts (I know there's no longer a choir class), my parents weren't really at school at all to see parents in the building.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

No need for all that. Makes you and your daughter look bad. She couldn’t handle the pressure and leave it at that. No, I am not a TJ parent.

[Anonymous]

TJ is not a neighborhood school, while parents could familiar with each other.
And most of them I notice are busy working parents, they are there from an important school event, rushing late because they endure traffic from five corner of the area, still wearing their work attire.
I doubt they have time to sit around to brag about their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Right.... hard to imagine that not everyone thinks like you. Lemme guess OP is a troll in your mind. OR, maybe there is many good students leaving TJ for the same reason my kid did. Certainly, I know many outstanding kids who didn't apply.

It's hard to imagine parents spending that much time together and it's especially hard imagining TJ parents being "braggy" about their TJ freshmen.

This is just somebody that wants to accuse TJ kids of cheating and TJ parents of being horrible people. They want to explain to themselves why their kid isn't getting good grades (because everybody else cheats) and why their kids are less accomplished (because TJ parents their kids like ego projects).

Fixed typos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

You don’t have to emulate anything or anyone. If your child would like it and can keep up, it’ll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

I mean, if we could afford private it would be a different story...

I have no doubt that there are some seriously annoying parents and kids at TJ, but what I'm wondering about is whether there are also some down-to-earth parents and kids, which would be all we'd need.

I'm sorry your dd had a negative experience though. What did she say were her reasons specifically for not wanting to stay and how long did she stay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

As a parent of ES and MS kids who went to TJ, I say this in kindness: he's 8 (most likely). You have a long time until 13-14 when he'd apply. See how things go. Talk to people then.

TJ changes over time - it certainly has since my day. In 6 years when he's a freshman it won't be the same place, necessarily.

[Anonymous]

^^^

First sentence should have a period in the middle-ish. I'm a parent of ES and MS kids. I myself went to TJ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

I'll take things that didn't happen for $800 Alex.

You don't even have a high school kid. And certainly not a straight A TJ kid.

It's not like elementary school where all the parents get to know each other.

Thank you for exhibiting the exact lack of social skills referenced. You and OP both are low in that area, perhaps it is your kids that give the school the bad reputation for social skills...

OP - it's appropriate to say nothing. Maybe Sanjay is sad that Said is leaving. And drop it.

NP. I agree with the "things that didn't happen" poster.

High school isn't preschool. SMH

+1
As a TJ parent, I am quite involve in my kid ECs as volunteer… and I still barely know any parents, let alone say “ I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. ”

I'm not saying it didn't happen or that someone could feel that way. But, my kid isn't thrilled about TJ and most of the parents I know go years back. They are all really awesome people. Of the new ones I've met at sporting matches they all seem very nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

So you came here to say your daughter left because "Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends" so "She went back to private school?"

GTFOH. Getting straight A's as a freshman isn't rare but it's not common either. Coming from a private school is relatively rare. Going BACK to that private school after a year at TJ is exceedingly rare. A straight A student from a private school returning to a private school hasn't happened in recent memory.

High school parent don't hang out with each other unless their kids went to elementary school together or maybe if their kids are on a team together. The freshmen parents are not a very "braggy" group.

I don't know if you had a child that went to TJ but if so, she was not a straight A student that left to go back to a private school. I suspect you don't have kids at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

So you came here to say your daughter left because "Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends" so "She went back to private school?"

GTFOH. Getting straight A's as a freshman isn't rare but it's not common either. Coming from a private school is relatively rare. Going BACK to that private school after a year at TJ is exceedingly rare. A straight A student from a private school returning to a private school hasn't happened in recent memory.

High school parent don't hang out with each other unless their kids went to elementary school together or maybe if their kids are on a team together. The freshmen parents are not a very "braggy" group.

I don't know if you had a child that went to TJ but if so, she was not a straight A student that left to go back to a private school. I suspect you don't have kids at all.

You just happen to know ALL kids who’ve attended in recent years? NP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Friend’s son left TJ. What to say when we meet?

Saying ‘I’m sorry’ feels wrong.

Asking why, also feels wrong.

Saying nothing also feels wrong.

My kid left too. Asking where they went is appropriate. If they want to talk they will elaborate.

My kid was a straight A student and had trouble with the peers. She saw rampant cheating and bragging/lying about grades was based on pure lack of integrity. It wasn't a good fit. Most of the kids don't have any social skills, which combined with the lack of integrity made it difficult for her to find a solid group of friends. I also didn't like the parents. I felt they were overbearing, pushy, braggy (like their kids), and lacked social skills. She went back to private school that screens these kids out. They are smart, no doubt, but they don't have what it takes to be really successful outside an academic environment - which is what we, as parents, are training them for.

Re: the parents, is this really true of everyone? I'm asking as someone who would like for my child to go to TJ one day, if he wants to and can get in. We are not super competitive/cut throat. Just thought it would be a cool learning experience, better than a typical highschool. Child is a rising 3rd grader and likes math, coding, engineering... Maybe I'm naive and child doesn't have a chance unless he emulates those who are like what you describe?

Well.... you see how mean people are to my story of my daughter. You get everything from 'it didn't happen and Im a troll' to 'I'm a liar and my my kid couldn't cut it' or 'this refects badly on us not the school'. I think the responses here totally reflect the school and their children. You need to just decide if these are the people whose children you want your kid to be friends with and be in class with. I wish I had known that going in and we would have never applied. Honestly, I do think your kid (and most gifted children) are better placed in a private that stimulates their curiosity in a nurturing environment that is free from the people you see responding to me. In my DD's school there are lots of gifted kids, but many are just bright, some are even (gasp) average. I think they all contribute positively to the environment.

You literally say most of the TJ kids have no social skills or integrity. And then proceeded to make ridiculously insulting claims about the parents too.

And you think there is something wrong with everybody else?