Rush coach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mother of my daughter’s friend is paying almost $3,000 for a rush coach. ???!!!

Will be a freshman at a Southern school. For the love of God….

The only thing that bothers me about this situation is that you’re so judgmental about how other people choose to live.

I hope you did not share your outrage (???!!!) with your DD. It would be sad if you were raising her to judge and mock her friends’ choices when they differ from hers.

I only know about it because my DD told me. She and her friends were in disbelief. Some of those friends are working jobs to pay their way to a state school. They can’t even fathom the idea of spending an extra $3,000 to hire someone to help join a sorority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

I had a good enough time in my sorority but, damn, there is ZERO chance I would do any of this. I thought it was somewhat superficial in the 90's but this is . . . . not ok.

+ 1.

[Anonymous]

I do wonder why people have such different preferences of organic vs structured/professional, for academics vs athletics vs social, instead of having the same approach to all three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mother of my daughter’s friend is paying almost $3,000 for a rush coach. ???!!!

Will be a freshman at a Southern school. For the love of God….

The only thing that bothers me about this situation is that you’re so judgmental about how other people choose to live.

I hope you did not share your outrage (???!!!) with your DD. It would be sad if you were raising her to judge and mock her friends’ choices when they differ from hers.

Isn’t the whole point of a sorority to judge who’s worthy to be in your friend group? Judgment is sort of the name of the game. They can dish it but not take it?

This is a great point. Rush is nothing if not completely judgmental

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

This sounds super stressful and over the top. Glad my DD has expressed no interest in Greek life.

Can you break this down to us like we are 3yrs old? Or otherwise repost this using full sentences that non-rush people can understand? Please. Not trying to be funny. DD is interested in Alabama but I don't know what you're saying.

PP here. What don't you understand? Did you read the PP's recommendations? If you are fine with creating a persona to gain access to a friend group, then go for it. My DD is more interested in meeting friends at school in a more organic manner. She's crossed all schools with dominant Greek life off the list. You might want to watch that documentary about Alabama Greek Life. I think it's called Bama Rush. If after that you and your daughter feel compelled to pursue, by all means, go for it.

DD just wants to meet people organically but also understands that at a school like 'Bama she might need to join a sorority. She doesn't want to create anything or stress but wants to have a good experience. You are being judgy and I am looking for non-judgemental advice. I didn't understand that list of recommendation so I want that PP to break it down in simpler terms.

My daughter attends a big state school and didn't initially want to rush and "pay for friends". While it would be nice to meet friends organically, it just doesn't happen for everyone. After a lonely first quarter, she ended up joining a sorority during COB (open bidding--way less formal than rush) and has really enjoyed it. Joining a sorority doesn't buy friends. It buys access to events and opportunities to make friends; it gives students (especially introverts) a group to join to attend school sporting events, philanthropy, parties, etc. My daughter didn't care about sorority rank or partying; she just wanted to join a nice friend group, that she wasn't finding in her dorm or via other clubs, to go to school events with. It made a big school feel a bit smaller and has been great for her.
OP, if regular rush doesn't work out. COB is open bidding for sororities still looking for members and can be a way less stressful way to join.

[Anonymous]

Do we need to be under 110 or 100 lbs?

[Anonymous]

My DD is at a large southern OOS flagship school, but not an SEC. It is close to 15% of the school is Greek.

Rush was definitely intense, but I can't imagine anyone using a rush consultant. That said, there are many TikTok people and Facebook groups that are free and help with rush questions. You do need to go in prepared with these larger schools.

My DD ended up in her preferred house and had a fantastic freshman experience. It really helped her to expand her social group, have plenty of activities to go to, and made her whole transition to college seamless.

So, be prepared, but not necessarily with a $3000 rush consultant!

My DD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is at a large southern OOS flagship school, but not an SEC. It is close to 15% of the school is Greek.

Rush was definitely intense, but I can't imagine anyone using a rush consultant. That said, there are many TikTok people and Facebook groups that are free and help with rush questions. You do need to go in prepared with these larger schools.

My DD ended up in her preferred house and had a fantastic freshman experience. It really helped her to expand her social group, have plenty of activities to go to, and made her whole transition to college seamless.

So, be prepared, but not necessarily with a $3000 rush consultant!

My DD

I have to repeat this all the time, but SEC is a different ballgame. Really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?

He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.

Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?

Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.

You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.

Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)

It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.

That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

This sounds super stressful and over the top. Glad my DD has expressed no interest in Greek life.

Can you break this down to us like we are 3yrs old? Or otherwise repost this using full sentences that non-rush people can understand? Please. Not trying to be funny. DD is interested in Alabama but I don't know what you're saying.

PP here. What don't you understand? Did you read the PP's recommendations? If you are fine with creating a persona to gain access to a friend group, then go for it. My DD is more interested in meeting friends at school in a more organic manner. She's crossed all schools with dominant Greek life off the list. You might want to watch that documentary about Alabama Greek Life. I think it's called Bama Rush. If after that you and your daughter feel compelled to pursue, by all means, go for it.

DD just wants to meet people organically but also understands that at a school like 'Bama she might need to join a sorority. She doesn't want to create anything or stress but wants to have a good experience. You are being judgy and I am looking for non-judgemental advice. I didn't understand that list of recommendation so I want that PP to break it down in simpler terms.

My daughter attends a big state school and didn't initially want to rush and "pay for friends". While it would be nice to meet friends organically, it just doesn't happen for everyone. After a lonely first quarter, she ended up joining a sorority during COB (open bidding--way less formal than rush) and has really enjoyed it. Joining a sorority doesn't buy friends. It buys access to events and opportunities to make friends; it gives students (especially introverts) a group to join to attend school sporting events, philanthropy, parties, etc. My daughter didn't care about sorority rank or partying; she just wanted to join a nice friend group, that she wasn't finding in her dorm or via other clubs, to go to school events with. It made a big school feel a bit smaller and has been great for her.
OP, if regular rush doesn't work out. COB is open bidding for sororities still looking for members and can be a way less stressful way to join.[/quot

I know kids who’ve joined fraternities and sororities at SEC and ACC schools not because they were so much into Greek life per so, but it was a fun and easy way to meet people. With cell phones making it too easy to hole up on dorm rooms and with the way campus clubs have become competitive, it’s nice that Greek life is there as another social option. Not everyone can play a sport or be in a campus theater/music group.

[Anonymous]

I know kids who’ve joined fraternities and sororities at SEC and ACC schools not because they were so much into Greek life per so, but it was a fun and easy way to meet people. With cell phones making it too easy to hole up on dorm rooms and with the way campus clubs have become competitive, it’s nice that Greek life is there as another social option. Not everyone can play a sport or be in a campus theater/music group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know kids who’ve joined fraternities and sororities at SEC and ACC schools not because they were so much into Greek life per so, but it was a fun and easy way to meet people. With cell phones making it too easy to hole up on dorm rooms and with the way campus clubs have become competitive, it’s nice that Greek life is there as another social option. Not everyone can play a sport or be in a campus theater/music group.

Yes!

[Anonymous]

Barfff

[Anonymous]

Why even go to college if all you want to do is party? When I was in college, A fraternity was closed down on my campus because of rape in the frat house. No thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.

1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.

2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.

3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.

4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.

5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.

6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.

7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.

8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.

If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.

Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!

I had a good enough time in my sorority but, damn, there is ZERO chance I would do any of this. I thought it was somewhat superficial in the 90's but this is . . . . not ok.

No kidding. Thanks for speaking sense. I can’t believe the number of people rationalizing and normalizing this nonsense