why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day

[Anonymous]

A big thing I don’t understand here is why the rest of you wouldn’t just go to lunch. Let the grandfather be late or absent. I don’t know if he’s just a jerk or there’s more going on but I don’t get why the lunch was canceled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never go to restaurant on Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Valentine's Day. They usually have a limited menu and the food is at its worst because it's all pre-made so they can move people through as quickly as possible. If you feel obligated to plan an outing, pick a different day when it's convenient for everyone.

we weren't we were going to our club which is low key/small

It’s not your day lady, it’s his day. He said I have plans already I don’t want to go to lunch. You did it anyway. No means NO, psycho!

Agree (without the psycho part). I think you wanted the opportunity to see your son, wife and baby and pushed it.

[Anonymous]

The title of the thread should be "How I made this a shitty Father's Day"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband had plans with the handy man prior to your plans, not sure why you’d expect him to change his plans to meet your forced lunch plans.

Yeah. It sounds like he made plans which op was aware of.son and dil called last minute with plans and op assumed they should be should change his plans for a last minute request.

If I had to guess Dil pushed the son into this under some misguided notion probably influenced by tik tok.

Nah, this was a good idea for another day. Let's not make it about the DIL again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big thing I don’t understand here is why the rest of you wouldn’t just go to lunch. Let the grandfather be late or absent. I don’t know if he’s just a jerk or there’s more going on but I don’t get why the lunch was canceled.

Of course, this was the reasonable response. OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here need to clarify a few things-

we were not going to a restaurant but to our club (which is low key)

plans were made a few days ago NOT last minute.

Son wanted to take his dad out for Fathers Day, pretty simple. My husband was well aware of plan and the fact that we changed the time to accommodate the ridiculous handyman's appt I was perfectly happy for him to spend the afternoon doing whatever he wanted. An hour or so with his FAMILY certainly is not asking much.

We were going to lunch for an hour- he would have had the entire day to do as he pleases and we agreed on that. I do wish I had taken many's advice and just gone on my own.

To the person earlier who tried to diagnose my husband, you were not far off. I am looking into that- and am going to encourage him to see a dr. He really needs it- his moods are up and down, extremely unpredictable and frankly hard to live with. You can judge all you want but its not easy living with someone like this.

Now you sound like a troll. It's never just an hour to have lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he wanted a day to himself. And he didn’t get a day to himself.

All my DH wanted to do is relax and watch his favorite sport. We had facetime with DS and DD came over for lunch. Anything else would have been inconsiderate of his feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with a lot of the comments here. If I’m understanding correctly, your son asked to get together to celebrate his father for Father’s Day and I guess celebrating his own first Father’s Day as well, which is significant in and of itself.

Typically Father’s Day is like Mother’s Day, a family day. And I have to agree with OP that allowing an appointment with the handyman to ruin a family plan would have me infuriated as well - unless there’s a part here I am definitely on the side of the OP. He should have been thankful for his family, wanting to honor him and celebrate.
sounds like he would have had the rest of the day to do as he pleases. no offense, but he does sound like a very difficult unpleasant person to be around.

My mom can be like this too. My dad doesn’t stand up to her the way that OP does, so we just pretzel ourselves around her random whims if we want to see her.
With my mom, it’s a lot of anxiety. She feels like she needs to do all of this stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A big thing I don’t understand here is why the rest of you wouldn’t just go to lunch. Let the grandfather be late or absent. I don’t know if he’s just a jerk or there’s more going on but I don’t get why the lunch was canceled.

Of course, this was the reasonable response. OP?

I probably would not have gone to a club on w/son, DIL and baby on FD w/o DH. Maybe a restaurant. Kind of weird at a club, people might assume illness, divorce, etc. DH’s likely done such before, the personality disordered, etc really like to act out on holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big thing I don’t understand here is why the rest of you wouldn’t just go to lunch. Let the grandfather be late or absent. I don’t know if he’s just a jerk or there’s more going on but I don’t get why the lunch was canceled.

This i do agree with. If my husband had been a total c)not about going with our grown son at this pt in our lives, I would have gone without him.

[Anonymous]

I would have looked at doing lunch yesterday or at a later date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really is. What kind of man doesn't want to celebrate father's day with his own son and baby grandchild.

Drop the rope OP. Start doing your own thing

Sadly this is the truth. You do not have the husband that you want. Next time make plans without him.

[Anonymous]

So unnecessary. People should be ok with not having plans for holidays and vegging out at home.

"I want to be left along" - is a very sane and clear request. Why would you not honor that?

[Anonymous]

You put your son over your husband, OP. Your husband should come first. You should have told your son to pick another time. Or do it next weekend. Your husband requested, and was not granted, a day to putter in his workshop and you pissed all over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he wanted a day to himself. And he didn’t get a day to himself.

Frankly I think OP should leave him. Then he’ll have a whole life to himself. And wonder when he’s sick and old why no one is there to care for him.