why my husband made this a shitty Father’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

You need tobsee a doctor. You are a narcissist and still making the day about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never go to restaurant on Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Valentine's Day. They usually have a limited menu and the food is at its worst because it's all pre-made so they can move people through as quickly as possible. If you feel obligated to plan an outing, pick a different day when it's convenient for everyone.

we weren't we were going to our club which is low key/small

It’s not your day lady, it’s his day. He said I have plans already I don’t want to go to lunch. You did it anyway. No means NO, psycho!

It’s also the son’s first Father’s Day and he and DIL made plan, pipe down MRA troll.

A son celebrated his father on fathers day not the other way around. The op likely has npd and is blaming her husband. He's probably just tired. Op, next time do what you want and don't invite your husband. The ship has sailed on youbbeing that family unit you imagined.

[Anonymous]

OP, kudos for reading the responses and not getting defensive. But I still don’t think you get it. Your DH absolutely should not have lost his temper, but your complete disregard for what he told you when you asked him what he wanted to do for Father’s Day is just baffling. I really think you owe him an apology.

If your son had his feelings hurt, that should have been up to him to express and not you forcing your husband to do something he expressly said that he didn’t want to do.

[Anonymous]

OP says that “he was fully aware of the lunch plans” means that she announced them into the air and then proceeded according to her own announcement. She is acting like he agreed but just announcing something aloud isn’t an agreement.

[Anonymous]

Everyone needs to chill.

Marriage is a two way street. She should have been a little more flexible and he could have bent a little as well especially since his son was also celebrating Fathers Day- double milestone. Sometimes, WE all have to do things for our families!!

There was surely room for verbally abusing his wife in front of a contractor.

Get him diagnosed.

[Anonymous]

oops pp NOT room for verbally abusing his wife

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone needs to chill.

Marriage is a two way street. She should have been a little more flexible and he could have bent a little as well especially since his son was also celebrating Fathers Day- double milestone. Sometimes, WE all have to do things for our families!!

There was surely room for verbally abusing his wife in front of a contractor.

Get him diagnosed.

No. And being upset because you have a pushy wife who doesn't respect your choices doesn't mean you need to be diagnosed.

The audacity of some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

Your husband had ZERO expectations for the holiday. You placed expectations on him that he said no to. You then got mad when he didn’t meet your expectations. Now you’re on here making it all about you and how you feel and how he’s the bad guy. You are the problem here, not him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

You did NOT respect his wishes, OP. You need to admit that, at least to yourself.

I agree that it is odd for him to prioritize the handyman visit over his son&family.

It is also unacceptable for him to act the way he did in front of the handyman.

You should have had the priorities discussion when your husband first said no to lunch. If he insisted on handyman visit, you should have just made plans with your son’s family with an invitation for your DH to join but no expectation that he would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

It's not called Family Day. It's called Father's Day. So let the fathers decide what they want to do. I'm a mother and chose to spend the day at the spa and having a meal alone. I love my children and husband but for a day, that's what I wanted. I'm lucky I'm married to someone who respected my wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

That's on you. No one, I repeat, no one, is forcing any expectations on you. You are taking their expectations on or creating your own stupid rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -I have found reading over all of these responses interesting and they’ve also allowed me to look at it from a different perspective I am big enough to admit that even though his idea of a perfect Father’s Day by no means fit my perfect description that I should have respected what he wanted, which, in a way I did except for moving the lunch to a little bit later, so that we could all be together to make it just seems like this is a family day and I’m still baffled that the handyman’s visit trumped everything else

For the record, the handyman is a young guy. He’s not married, and his father’s back in his country for everyone who’s losing their mind over having him come over on a Sunday/Father’s Day no need to lose sleep over this.

I think what hurt me the most was that it seemed like he didn’t want to spend it with the family and I think frankly, it hurt my sons feelings. I was also extremely upset and embarrassed in front of this handyman that he spoke to me. That way he apologize several times but I still can’t Quite forgive him for that. We ended up making the best of things and the day ended up being OK but I still very much think he needs to go see a doctor. I truly believe he has a personality disorder of some sort. This type of behavior has repeated itself many times, and not just with me, but within his business, his relationships with other people, etc.

Thanks for the input. I must say I have grown to really dislike holidays. I hate the expectations that they come with.

No, you WANT to think that. If your son didn't say it, you're just using that as justification for your position. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, you ruined the day. DH said what he wanted and you ignored. You should’ve gone out with DS and DIL and had a nice Father’s Day without DH, which were his wishes. Now you’ve upset everyone.