Can we hash out the who is a single parent nonsense here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is stupid. Truly.

My friend single Mom whose ex makes $25 million per year gets dragged to court with litigation every year so he can try to claim he's too poor to pay child support.

He's an evil, manipulative SOB.

Mine, who makes substantially less, was convicted of DV and also has been a decade of drama - getting arrested, knocking up more women.

You're going to argue that being a single Mom without a Dad in the picture is worse than the trauma of a coparent that is sick and whose mission it is to burn down your life and your children's lives?

Ok, sure.

I doubt they go every year as courts limit it and she’s probably getting child support but not as much as she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think women in long term partnerships w kids, joint expenses and houses etc- fully mingled lives minus the “official peice of paper” consider themselves “single” mothers. I know a few and have never heard that.

My husband's ex did. She gets child support and alimony, plus live in boyfriend, doesn't work and screams poverty. They live comfortably but little goes the kids.

I want to how the family is "living comfortably" with children, and yet not spending any money on the kids. The kids aren't living in the "comfortable" home? They aren't being fed? They don't ride in the vehicles, or go to the school associated with the "comfortable" neighborhood?

Those things are his responsibility too.

Yes, but the kids work to pay their stuff and bike or get rides. Mom does not drive them anywhere except a rare occasion. She refused to get the youngest braces as she had to pay half out of the money she gets from dad and drive to appointments. It’s not a fancy neighborhood. And, public is free. They aren’t allowed activities. We offered to pay as long as we can pay directly since mom kept the money when we sent it to her many times upon request.

It's possible that your husband's ex is terrible, or that she's being a responsible parent in encouraging the kids to work. But I can't figure out what this has to do with whether women can call themselves single mothers. The issue doesn't even seem to be that she is using that term. If she spent the same way, and complained about poverty the same way and stopped using the term "single mother" would things improve for anyone?

And even if one annoying person uses a term in a way that annoys you, it doesn't follow that you should then police other people's use of the term "single mom" to describe themselves.

Any thread in which a woman uses the term "single mom" to describe herself, even if she's talking about escaping domestic violence, is overtaken by people yelling about how they aren't a single mom. It's bizarre. If it's you, then stop!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rather than every thread dissolving into people bashing the OP over vocabulary?

I can’t believe we have a thread about a woman with young kids in an unsafe situation and people are policing vocabulary!

So, tell me people who use a definition other than “mother who is single”, what evidence do you have to back up your definition?

A single mother is someone who has no ex. Or any other kind of help. If there is an ex and grandparents,
she has help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:any mother who is single is a single mom.

How about any parent who pays 85%+ of the expenses and does 85%+ of the child raising is a single parent? Sorry, IMHO being an every other weekend parent is pathetic and does nothing to actually help in childraising. Many of us with this would rather the other parent disappear completely. Our lives would be easier

Should have thought about you his before having a child with it is man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Widowed, unmarried and divorced moms are single moms.

Divorced is not single because to here is a other parent in the picture.

[Anonymous]

OMG you all are all SES and High income whatever but no concept of language.

Single parent means not in a relationship. They may be doing 100% of the work; getting 10-100% financial support but they are not romantically attached. They can date if they wanted to; had time to, etc.

Solo Parent - means you do 100% of the work and have 100% of the financial responsibility. If the other parent gets the kid one weekend a month or pays something but nothing required you are a solo parent. It happens by choice, death, abandonment, etc.

I see a lot of moms on here who whine because of their work load at home. They are solo parenting - unseen labor of planning meals, camps, which APs their children should take or what bathing suit is socially appropriate did Johnny get his inhaler to school; all the school forms; etc. Dad couldn't name the kid's doctor unless he looked at a bill.

But ha ha - the women allow this. You chose to scramble your DNA with whoever for the image, wedding, his potential/existing income, house, status and then whine that he doesn't do enough now that you aren't together or you have to control everything and you never let him be involved. If the former, you created that and it's the price you pay to have someone pay your horse or club dues. If the later, let Johnny not participate because the inhaler isn't available and tell the school to call his father. Don't plan a meal except for yourself - no one will starve; stop cleaning or let him clean to his standard not yours.

Written a single mom (chose my situation it didn't choose me) who is friends with divorced moms, solo dads (wow one married a gold digger but he does all the work), parents together. I find you all ridiculous but this is high entertainment until the new season starts.

[Anonymous]

I’m married. If you’re not married, you are a single mom.

I mean my CEO is a single mom. The dad ran away and then later died, but she never got support even when he was alive. Just because she makes 1m a year doesn’t negate the fact that she’s a single mom.

I use the term “flying solo” to describe what I’m doing when dh is out of town. He travels 3/4 weeks a month and is sometimes gone over weekends. It’s not a financial burden but obviously it’s a logistical and mental burden of being the only adult with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than every thread dissolving into people bashing the OP over vocabulary?

I can’t believe we have a thread about a woman with young kids in an unsafe situation and people are policing vocabulary!

So, tell me people who use a definition other than “mother who is single”, what evidence do you have to back up your definition?

A single mother is someone who has no ex. Or any other kind of help. If there is an ex and grandparents,
she has help.

Sorry what does the word “single” mean in your alternate universe? The opposite of single is married.

[Anonymous]

Single mom means your child has a single parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG you all are all SES and High income whatever but no concept of language.

Single parent means not in a relationship. They may be doing 100% of the work; getting 10-100% financial support but they are not romantically attached. They can date if they wanted to; had time to, etc.

Solo Parent - means you do 100% of the work and have 100% of the financial responsibility. If the other parent gets the kid one weekend a month or pays something but nothing required you are a solo parent. It happens by choice, death, abandonment, etc.

I see a lot of moms on here who whine because of their work load at home. They are solo parenting - unseen labor of planning meals, camps, which APs their children should take or what bathing suit is socially appropriate did Johnny get his inhaler to school; all the school forms; etc. Dad couldn't name the kid's doctor unless he looked at a bill.

But ha ha - the women allow this. You chose to scramble your DNA with whoever for the image, wedding, his potential/existing income, house, status and then whine that he doesn't do enough now that you aren't together or you have to control everything and you never let him be involved. If the former, you created that and it's the price you pay to have someone pay your horse or club dues. If the later, let Johnny not participate because the inhaler isn't available and tell the school to call his father. Don't plan a meal except for yourself - no one will starve; stop cleaning or let him clean to his standard not yours.

Written a single mom (chose my situation it didn't choose me) who is friends with divorced moms, solo dads (wow one married a gold digger but he does all the work), parents together. I find you all ridiculous but this is high entertainment until the new season starts.

I agree with your definition of single mom, but am completely confused by your definition of solo mom. You say that solo mom means 100% financial responsibility and then go on to describe a mom who is married to the father of the child, witth husband paying the medical bills as a solo mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is stupid. Truly.

My friend single Mom whose ex makes $25 million per year gets dragged to court with litigation every year so he can try to claim he's too poor to pay child support.

He's an evil, manipulative SOB.

Mine, who makes substantially less, was convicted of DV and also has been a decade of drama - getting arrested, knocking up more women.

You're going to argue that being a single Mom without a Dad in the picture is worse than the trauma of a coparent that is sick and whose mission it is to burn down your life and your children's lives?

Ok, sure.

I doubt they go every year as courts limit it and she’s probably getting child support but not as much as she wants.

He dragged her to court every year claiming change of circumstances. His change lf circumstances was always finding new ways to hide money off shore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG you all are all SES and High income whatever but no concept of language.

Single parent means not in a relationship. They may be doing 100% of the work; getting 10-100% financial support but they are not romantically attached. They can date if they wanted to; had time to, etc.

Solo Parent - means you do 100% of the work and have 100% of the financial responsibility. If the other parent gets the kid one weekend a month or pays something but nothing required you are a solo parent. It happens by choice, death, abandonment, etc.

I see a lot of moms on here who whine because of their work load at home. They are solo parenting - unseen labor of planning meals, camps, which APs their children should take or what bathing suit is socially appropriate did Johnny get his inhaler to school; all the school forms; etc. Dad couldn't name the kid's doctor unless he looked at a bill.

But ha ha - the women allow this. You chose to scramble your DNA with whoever for the image, wedding, his potential/existing income, house, status and then whine that he doesn't do enough now that you aren't together or you have to control everything and you never let him be involved. If the former, you created that and it's the price you pay to have someone pay your horse or club dues. If the later, let Johnny not participate because the inhaler isn't available and tell the school to call his father. Don't plan a meal except for yourself - no one will starve; stop cleaning or let him clean to his standard not yours.

Written a single mom (chose my situation it didn't choose me) who is friends with divorced moms, solo dads (wow one married a gold digger but he does all the work), parents together. I find you all ridiculous but this is high entertainment until the new season starts.

I agree with your definition of single mom, but am completely confused by your definition of solo mom. You say that solo mom means 100% financial responsibility and then go on to describe a mom who is married to the father of the child, witth husband paying the medical bills as a solo mom.

Married woman is solo parenting because her husband and her think it’s 1955

I am a solo parent because I am 100% ultimately responsible for my child(ren) from financial, decisions about life, and all logistics. But I might have a village that rivals the married woman above from rich grandparents giving money for schools or do after school pick up etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG you all are all SES and High income whatever but no concept of language.

Single parent means not in a relationship. They may be doing 100% of the work; getting 10-100% financial support but they are not romantically attached. They can date if they wanted to; had time to, etc.

Solo Parent - means you do 100% of the work and have 100% of the financial responsibility. If the other parent gets the kid one weekend a month or pays something but nothing required you are a solo parent. It happens by choice, death, abandonment, etc.

I see a lot of moms on here who whine because of their work load at home. They are solo parenting - unseen labor of planning meals, camps, which APs their children should take or what bathing suit is socially appropriate did Johnny get his inhaler to school; all the school forms; etc. Dad couldn't name the kid's doctor unless he looked at a bill.

But ha ha - the women allow this. You chose to scramble your DNA with whoever for the image, wedding, his potential/existing income, house, status and then whine that he doesn't do enough now that you aren't together or you have to control everything and you never let him be involved. If the former, you created that and it's the price you pay to have someone pay your horse or club dues. If the later, let Johnny not participate because the inhaler isn't available and tell the school to call his father. Don't plan a meal except for yourself - no one will starve; stop cleaning or let him clean to his standard not yours.

Written a single mom (chose my situation it didn't choose me) who is friends with divorced moms, solo dads (wow one married a gold digger but he does all the work), parents together. I find you all ridiculous but this is high entertainment until the new season starts.

I agree with your definition of single mom, but am completely confused by your definition of solo mom. You say that solo mom means 100% financial responsibility and then go on to describe a mom who is married to the father of the child, witth husband paying the medical bills as a solo mom.

Married woman is solo parenting because her husband and her think it’s 1955

I am a solo parent because I am 100% ultimately responsible for my child(ren) from financial, decisions about life, and all logistics. But I might have a village that rivals the married woman above from rich grandparents giving money for schools or do after school pick up etc

Most married women in 1955, at least in the kinds of families people fantasize about, were not 100% financially responsible for their children. If we're defining solo parenting as 100% responsible, then a married woman who lives with her husband who is paying bills is not 100% responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than every thread dissolving into people bashing the OP over vocabulary?

I can’t believe we have a thread about a woman with young kids in an unsafe situation and people are policing vocabulary!

So, tell me people who use a definition other than “mother who is single”, what evidence do you have to back up your definition?

A single mother is someone who has no ex. Or any other kind of help. If there is an ex and grandparents,
she has help.

Sorry what does the word “single” mean in your alternate universe? The opposite of single is married.

If you fill out any kind of legal or government-required form it will ask, Married, Divorced, Widowed, or Single. If you are divorced you cannot claim that you are "single." That is life-long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than every thread dissolving into people bashing the OP over vocabulary?

I can’t believe we have a thread about a woman with young kids in an unsafe situation and people are policing vocabulary!

So, tell me people who use a definition other than “mother who is single”, what evidence do you have to back up your definition?

A single mother is someone who has no ex. Or any other kind of help. If there is an ex and grandparents,
she has help.

Sorry what does the word “single” mean in your alternate universe? The opposite of single is married.

If you fill out any kind of legal or government-required form it will ask, Married, Divorced, Widowed, or Single. If you are divorced you cannot claim that you are "single." That is life-long.

Tax forms are one of the forms that people fill out most frequently and divorced or widowed people fill out “single”.