Can we hash out the who is a single parent nonsense here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is the dumbest argument ever. Single is the relationship status, parent means they have kids. BOTH parents are single parents.

No, single is the parent status. The clue is that the phrase "single parent" has the word "parent" in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single is marital status only.

Mmm, yes, my single income household gets our money from my unmarried husband's job, of course!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t police the language but there does need to be one word for a single mom who gets substantial financial support from the dad and shared parenting time versus single mom who is solely responsible for all financial support and all child care all the time.

It’s similar to calling all levels of autism “autism.” Level 1 autism and Level 3 autism are nothing alike. That doesn’t minimize my Level 1 daughter’s experience but calli my both autism is just silly.

Why? The medical community considers both autism. If it was that different, they'd have a different name for both.

The "medical community" isn't right about everything. Especially psychology, which is vibes-based medicine.

And they dohave different names! Autism Level 1, Autism Level 2, Autism Level 3. The term "autism" is ambiguous unless it is in context that actually refers to all levels at the same time, which is almost always a useless category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is the dumbest argument ever. Single is the relationship status, parent means they have kids. BOTH parents are single parents.

Nothing says "single" quite like 2 people doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

No one wants to use the word "divorced" parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t police the language but there does need to be one word for a single mom who gets substantial financial support from the dad and shared parenting time versus single mom who is solely responsible for all financial support and all child care all the time.

It’s similar to calling all levels of autism “autism.” Level 1 autism and Level 3 autism are nothing alike. That doesn’t minimize my Level 1 daughter’s experience but calli my both autism is just silly.

Wow you have very “black or white” thinking. There are shades of grey when it comes to being a single parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mom with primary custody who receives no support from dad.

I don’t care what anyone else calls me
Or if that offends anyone. I just let them be mad about nothing because they’re obviously complete weirdos to be concerned with how another self identifies.

We all trip over ourselves to respect pronouns and call people what they want without judgment- unless they’re a single
Mom, who it’s always open season on.

Agree. I was raised by a single mom. She was divorced from my deadbeat dad who never gave her a penny of child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:any mother who is single is a single mom.

How about any parent who pays 85%+ of the expenses and does 85%+ of the child raising is a single parent? Sorry, IMHO being an every other weekend parent is pathetic and does nothing to actually help in childraising. Many of us with this would rather the other parent disappear completely. Our lives would be easier

Aha, the truth revealed. Let's forget the children have another parent and let me be the ONLY parent who matters!

Do you have any concept of how much psychological damage you are doing to your children by alienating the other parent? You are essentially telling your kids that half of the reason (other parent) for their existence is irrelevant. As is any of that side of the family, that culture, etc.

I have news for you. Ask any child of divorce who does not see a parent at all if they would be happy seeing them every other weekend if they had a choice. By far the majority of kids would be very happy to see the parent.

If you think this is just BS from some random DCUM poster, then do your own research on parental alienation and get educated. One excerpt from an NIH study:

"Parental alienation has repercussions on the child, as it annihilates their capacity to offer and receive affection from one of their parents. The child can develop: low self-esteem, lack of trust in oneself and others, depression, substance abuse, addiction, anxiety, self-sufficiency, uncertain attachment, feelings of loss, feelings of abandonment, feelings of guilt, and incapacity to respect authority, which are related to psychiatrical afflictions [9]."

Stop it. Let's clarify. I and most moms would rather have a 50/50 dad or even a 60/40 dad. But the 0-10% dad is completely selfish and actually makes life harder for everyone else. I give him multiple opportunities monthly to have more time, even begging sometimes, to be met with silence or deflection. Somehow, this 30hr/week working guy is SOOO busy and has not time (too busy with mistress). This "parental alienation" is BS in many cases (not all), or usually self inflicted.

+1000
Thank you. I wanted to comment but this thread has gone off the rails. The whole parental alienation is such complete BS. Just stop.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Widowed, unmarried and divorced moms are single moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Widowed, unmarried and divorced moms are single moms.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to use the word "divorced" parent

I never married my kids dad...so I wasn't a divorced parent. I was a single parent.

The fact is that every single parent has a slightly different situation (all have different custody arrangements, child support is dependent on many factors as well so differs for everyone), and arguing about who is what is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Widowed, unmarried and divorced moms are single moms.

I would agree with this with the exception of unmarried women in long term partnerships. If you are living with the kids’ dad, I don’t think that qualifies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t police the language but there does need to be one word for a single mom who gets substantial financial support from the dad and shared parenting time versus single mom who is solely responsible for all financial support and all child care all the time.

It’s similar to calling all levels of autism “autism.” Level 1 autism and Level 3 autism are nothing alike. That doesn’t minimize my Level 1 daughter’s experience but calli my both autism is just silly.

Why? Is there a difference between calling a couple a couple when one has one working parent and the other has two working parents? If they have grandparents who live with them or provide childcare?

Single is a marriage status.

[Anonymous]

Maybe we can atleast all agree that married moms who say "I was a single parent this weekend" bc their husband was doing something... are the worst. Ugh. Friend of mine uses this all the time. Im a single mom (donor conceived child) and usually it doesnt bug me but it does with this one friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Widowed, unmarried and divorced moms are single moms.

I would agree with this with the exception of unmarried women in long term partnerships. If you are living with the kids’ dad, I don’t think that qualifies.

No. It still does. Let me explain why. You are thinking that by living with the kid's dad, she is being supported and so she is not single. Well, by that logic, what about the military wife whose husband is deployed. Is she single then?

The wife of the road warrior who is away from Sunday night to Friday night. Is she a single mom then?

No. This is a relationship status. If your DH is away because he is deployed, travelling, incarcerated etc - you are a mom without support - but you are not a single mom. Similarly, if an unmarried mom is living in with her BF or her parents and has all the support, she is supported but she is still single.